I’m done playing this game
Against myself
It’s about time I meet
A worthy rival

I wanted to cry
As I saw my mom’s mug—
Broken.

She was so sad,
So she fixed it.
It was a mug from Italy,
I brought it to her
as a souvenir once.  

She was so sad,
As if she brought it
herself,
She lingered.

I wanted to cry
As  I realised—
She got to see
Some places
Only through my eyes.

I wished,
I hoped,
Someday I can
Carry her with me
To every place she ever dreams.

We could never be.

You had a malice in you,
I couldn’t recognise in me.

We could never be.

The roots of your envy,
Started to grow stagnant,
In the depths of my being.

We could never be.

I had to understand.
I couldn’t change this fate.
I had to let go of my faith.

We could never be.

The endearing love,
The Christmas parties,
The summers to come.

As years go by,  I can only recall,
the same feeling of longing has always been in my bones.

I’ve got a Time Machine.
But I have to warn you,
It’s a painful ride,
going to the past.

My mind is full with conversations,
Yet it’s all so quiet

It sickens me
How it occupied a part of my reason
The way I detailed a map of your heart
In exchange of
A sugarcoated rusty knife in my back

I want nothing to do with you
I am comfortable in the memories
safe, knowing I made it through
aware of the outcome
Dealing with the consequences
Of the bittersweet experience,
The terrible rollercoaster
Of your intermittent affection

I’ll imagine
I’m sending you a song
That I know
You’d love.
And in my head
we are dancing
to the rhythm
Of our once treasured
Now forgotten, bitter,
Love.

It’s in my soul—
Like flesh pierced
By the glass-shaped pain
Sharp and raw.

Nobody knows how to help

I try to remove them,
the shattered memories
Each sharp shard
Lacerating my insides,
Tearing my spirit,
Pain echoing in flesh.

A ****** mess, I get more hurt.

Same old same,
Everything I touch,
stained—
with overflowing emotions,
Red, heavy, thick
Intense—  

It’s a deeper wound.
Larger than myself.
It keeps cutting.
It keeps tearing.
My Faith.

“So you are into words” he said
“That doesn’t make you interesting, I’ll cut the chase”
I think of that for every poem I write
For every lyric of every song that gets to my heart