Neither sea on rock
Nor rain on tree
Speak words as sweet
As yours to me.

Freckles spread across her face illuminating her features like stars in the nighttime sky, she is learning to be.

-j.e.m (11.19.15)

Life has a cruel joke.
Giving you the right person,
at a dreadful time.

if you are my yesterday
then i wish for no tomorrow

I find comfort in your rage.
I feel chosen, to witness
You dying on stage is
Such a grand sight to behold.

When we count the stars
As we count our problems
Involunterally, I swear,
I find that one constellation
That kinda looks like us.

I do not point it out.
That would be selfish.
And the comfort would be
Replaced by anxiety
Replaced by a broken
Vow of sobriety.

And no longer would
My shoulders be wet
From tears shed on a
Beautiful night under
The stars, that I could
No longer name.

So I stay silent and hope
That next time the rage
Won’t be ignited by
You being upset that
No one is there for you.

Oh how I wish I could walk
with the aura of my namesake.

That I would never have doubts.
That my self-confidence would never waver.
That I would have any confidence whatsoever.
That I would have a sassy remark about everything.
That I would always have a comeback prepared.
That I would never be afraid to use it.
That I would always have a funny story to tell.
That I could always be there for everyone.
That everyone would care.
That I would never feel “dead inside”.

But, alas,
I am a person.
I am not a wish-fullfilment fantasy.
I will never grow into her,
because despite my feel-good delusions,
I am not her.
And she will never be me.

I went out
Scarf-less
Breathless
Into the night
Into my light

Into the narrow
Sober streets
Exclusive to me
In my moment
Of plight

Crooked alleys
Slanted shadows
They preach to me
My mentality
Creeping
Up my silhouette
Strangling my bare neck and
Holding back tears
Held back all these years

I feel light

So don’t worry
I’ll be back soon,
Whoever you are.

I will just keep writing
as it opens a door for sharing.
the hearts wanting, the minds
constant watch. protecting the heart song.
she's too loud,

explode forced air, that stare
the contact within.
she bares the scalp,
get some circulation up there.
prepare for the next round.
the pour down,
fulfillment found. the cups abundance

minds found, ground covered
though miles abound.
my hearts call loud, and the times
are being seen through ancient eyes.
the lies all fall apart as One is realized.
sacrificed, white flag flying type. submittal
to my self.
trust my sight, it stretches the net
and captures just outside the entangled mess.
like fishing the sea
trying to capture those pieces of me,
as they flow out

and infect.

and if the best of me wasn't what I give,
if I didn't need to feel this to live,
I would sulk within and wish my self home.
since young these days have been confusing
always right outside the embrace of love.

experience is the basic instant
yet we are not it.
mine have been hell bent on pressing intention.
like theres just no other way to it.
the explicitness of my days, of my pain.
I AM just outperformed it.
so basic, and my pain only prepared me
for it. Oh I give thanks to bear witness.

to the darkness, and the light it births
religious.