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Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
I really believed in you,
But I found out that was a big mistake too.
For all the promises that you have failed to keep,
I pretend that you love me,
So I can get some sleep.
I held on to you so tight,
When we were together,
Everything felt so right.

You were once the one who kept me sane,
Now you’re the one who is causing me all this pain.

The memories all come flashing back,
I wish I knew then, who was hiding behind that mask.

For all the promises you have failed to keep,
I find it hard, not to lose myself esteem.

My heart can’t take anymore lies,
Or soul crushing goodbyes.
I can’t take anymore flesh cutting tears,
Or four more wasted years.
For all the promises you have failed to keep,
I delete every memory of you , so I can get some sleep.
Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
I put my heart on a shelf,
The only person I can trust is myself.
I don’t trust easy,
It doesn’t come freely.

I believe in the end everyone leaves,
People come and go as please,

Maybe I push people away,
I don’t believe a single word people say.
I have gotten good at being numb,
I no longer will be the one who ends up looking dumb.

Spend one day in my shoes,
You’d be grateful its not you.
Being betrayed,
All the hurtful games people would play.
My heart is destroyed all because I loved the wrong foolish boy.

I used to be so full of life,
Maybe one day I’ll get my heart right.
Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
its been so long, time really flies
when im done w. all the other guys
looking at you compared to them,
is like holding rocks to a gem.
you really are a shining star,
but you will never know how far.
how far id go to have you back ;
you have something the others lack.
maybe its your charm, your perfect smile.
boy its really been a while.
youve completely changed my life,
so bad i could see me as your wife.
itll never happen, thats for sure.
youre not mine anymore.
i wish i could go back in time,
to put more effort in my climb.
& here i stand, arms open wide,
hoping you might come inside.
ive cried & cried, day & night,
wishing i could hold you tight.
ive cried for us, cried for you,
over the smallest things you do.
a brush of your arm, the touch of your skin,
invites the memories right back in.
to believe your love could actually last,
was the biggest mistake of my past.
i had your love, the best affection.
now i strive for your attention.
time after time i try again,
looking for some other man.
my mind always seems to stray,
thinking of why you went away.
i have no idea what it is,
that makes me want your loving kiss.
i guess this wont mean much to you,
cause boy you havent got a clue.
Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
ill be the razor if you be the wrist
you always cut me down
time for alittle switch
ill be the needle if you be the vein
ill be the one to bury your remains
ill be the braker if you'll be the heart
i refuse to let you continue ripping me apart.
i wanna make you feel the way i did when u left.
i wanna make you scream my name at the top of your lungs begging me to let you live.
when u left me i was slowly dying,
now i only want is to hurt you.
i don't wanna see you smile i wanna see you cry.
you know i hope you die.
Destiny Fertig Aug 2015
In the darkest night,
I watch as my blood drips from my veins.
I cannot make you stay.
As I lay here in my bed,
Memories of your hurtful words echo in my head.

You said you're sorry,
But the chances of me believing you,
Are like you someday owning your own new Ferrari.

I've tried so hard to forget.
All the things you have done that you say you regret .

So many lies,
I wish I could get up the strength to say goodbye.

I've tried to forgive,
But everyday I have to relive.
Relive the past,
When you said our relationship would never last.
Relive you abandoning me.
I just want to be free.
Free from the memories,
So I can sleep in ease.
Free from the scarring tears,
I feel like I haven't been happy in years .
Free from the flashbacks ,
Of every time you walked out and left.

You have damaged me greater than any.
Does anyone have a fresh heart they could lend me?

You've put me through hell,
And I'm surprised you can't tell ,
That when you argue with me I no longer yell.

I've given up a long time ago,
And if you'd pay attention ,
You'd already know.
But for some reason its still hard to let go.
Destiny Fertig Aug 2015
Love is like a title wave,
It hits you out of nowhere,
Sometimes leaving you with
All the debris to clean.

Love leaves you breathless,
Sometimes in tears,
Love brings out your worst fears.

Love is sometimes a one way street,
You keep holding on ,
While the other leaves.

Love makes you crazy,
It can bring out the best or worst in you ,
And it doesnt matter what you do.

Love is a battle field,
You're bound to loose.
Its rare to find a love that's true,
Unconditional love only comes to few.

Love is like a bullet in your heart,
You let someone in and they tare you apart,
And no matter what you do,
Nothing can heal the scars.

Love leaves you in the dark,
You'd avoid love if you were smart.
But it is peoples life goal to find that person who holds the other half of their heart.

Love is like an hour glass,
It'll run out , it'll never last.

Love is unknown,
Nothing is ever set in stone.
In the end ,
We all die alone.

Trust is like a pen,
Once you make a mistake ,
It can not be erased.
The person you "love" will possibly forgive you,
But the damage is done ,
Once trust leaves , the relationship is gone.

Love doesn't promise you forever ,
It can leave you sitting there in the darkest of nights ,  making it hard to see even the brightest of lights.
You'll try to forget,
But all you'll be left with is regret.
You'll think you're okay,
But you're just numb to the pain .
Once someone holds your heart,
Its hard to part.
You'll never be the same ,
All you're left with is the echo in your head of the memory of their name.

Love is a risk,
One many do not want to miss.
Nothing compares to a lovers kiss.
There is something addicting  about loves bliss.

Love is not a game.
Nothing hurts more then a heart breaks pain.
So be smart when it comes to love,
Once you let someone in, it can't be undone.
Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
my skin wont brake.
my heart is racing
you don't care how i feel in side.
i wanna bleed i don't wanna hide.
i wanna see you cry
i wanna brake you like you broke me.
my skin wont brake my heart is racing.
you can save me from this fate
you have the power but you wont use it.
you don't care you wanna abuse it.
so you make me cry.
i cut and hide,
long sleeves save me from the outside.
i wrote this six years ago. just finally got the courage to let it out.
Destiny Fertig Mar 2016
i miss you when your gone,
cause that's when my world is its darkest
why did you walk away
i feel as if my life is crumbling down around me

Seeing you with her,
Feels like my stomach might burst
Like my heart becomes so broken
It feels like mush..
And I can't breathe
And I can't see anything else...
Do you even know?
How could love seem so real
And turn out so wrong?
Where do I turn,
How can I learn to smile through the rain,
How will I learn to love once again.

what does she have that i don't?
does she know how you like to write?
does she know about your life?

does she care how you feel inside?
does she feel the same way I do?
With you in her life are her sky's a deeper blue?
In the end,
will she still love you,
like the way I do?

if time truly heals all these wounds,
then why do i feel as if its getting worse?
how come I feel like the worlds gonna end
like no matter what I do, I could never be good enough for you.
Destiny Fertig Aug 2015
I needed a father Not a friend,
I needed someone to chase the monsters outFrom under my bed.
I needed guidance and praze ,
Not someone I didn't hear from for days.
I needed someone to teach me how to ride a bike ,
Not someone who brought me to drug fights.
I needed someone to dry my tears,
Not someone to get me beer.
I needed someone to right me when I was wrong ,
Not someone who did drugs , to make them feel like they belong.
I needed you there .
The disappointment I can no longer bare.
I've held these words in for so many years ,
I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even care.
I hoped that one day you'd chose me over drugs,
But I realized that the high was you're only love.
I always tried to be daddy's little girl.
I tried my best to belong in your ****** up world.
I realize now , that I have never known you,
As much as I always wanted to.
You chose your addiction over me,
As I grew up it was clear to see.
I always had hope.
But in the end ,
You chose dope.
I saw the life from your eyes slowly disappear,
Loosing me was no longer a fear.
I tried so hard to help you out,
But you always brushed it off as if you didn't know what I was talking about.
Weight started to shed and I could see your bones,
With a room full of people , I have never felt So alone .
If You taught me anything it is this ,
Not every one should have kids.

— The End —