sometimes love leaves you
aching;
longing, for something
your fingers can’t touch,
and your mind can’t identify.

sometimes love leaves you
hungover;
blackout nights/headache in the a.m,
can’t move, your body’s heavy and
last night’s a blur.

sometimes love leaves you
poetry;
lines and lines of whispers,
words that you can only
give to 11:11 wishes, and midnight.

sometimes love(rs) leave;
going like a vagabond,
wanting none of your time,
the ache in your chest
throbbing.

the universe shakes me awake with an ache in my chest
and for a moment i think it's just my ribs getting stuck again except
I'm not having trouble breathing
like i sometimes wish

i look in the mirror and know I'm not alone
it's four AM
and not a soul stirs
not even my own
i think that's why my chest hurts

mine's dead
i think
and now the spirit it leaves paints itself gold
stroke by stroke
"FALSEHOODS" i scream in the mirror
"falsehoods" the reflection whispers

and i weep
a broken fragment trying to make itself new and worthy
but what a lie
the lies we tell ourselves
and the lies they tell themselves.
nothing is worthy
but hush, just paint them gold

loneliness
used to taste like cough syrup,
coating my throat
in artifice.

now i'm just lovesick
dancing in a sea of lights
they kiss my skin like
tulips/two lips/i'd choose this/new bliss/
our mouths collide like planet & asteroid

blood's rushing through my veins
trying to tell me to sing hallelujah
because i'm finally
just
living

and although
the pain is there
it is fading out of touch

i don't know where to stop
but i'll always
start
with this

We cracked the sun wide open
and drank till light spilled across our chins
then down our chests
until our shirts were drenched
your pale skin and pink petals
Glimmering through the sheer white wool

And not even the least put off
You tore your blouse right from your back
and roared with laughter and delight
tearing mine while running toward the shore

We pulled two stars down from sunset skies
And hung them from your gentle lobes
And though they tried could not eclipse
The light from your true self exposed

Growing weary from the day
We tore  fabric from the clouds
And made a blanket on the ground
Near the waters edge

We slipped out of our sun soaked clothes
And drank so gently from the moon
From root to crown in deep embrace
made love like lovers, friends and fools

We thanked the sun and thanked the stars
While drifting off to dream
interlaced our hands and legs and hearts
And rocked the night to sleep

Doll eyes, he says
You have doll eyes

Of course.

Glassy, blind doll eyes
waiting for any random child to squeeze me to life

Bring me reaction.

My pupils hold tiny negatives of him.
He checks them for impairment.

Sitting side-by-side on a damp porch step
he tells me the story of the spiders

plunging mouth fangs into live, bound captives
melting and digesting their insides
leaving an empty shell
Brittle, used and dead.

Intact from the outside

i need you in order to water the baby’s breath
that grows inside of me,
trapped in my ribcage and collarbones.
i’m spilling over with harsh subliminal messages,
subconscious limits that make my skies
clouded.
but you are every colour,
a prism met with light reflecting the rainbow,
and somehow not only am i yours
but you are mine as well.
insistent, telling myself
that you are worth it-
all of the bitter heartache that will come.
nothing lasts forever.
miniature lifetimes,
taking over the whole.
you’re my little secret
but the world should
know you're mine.

i want to slow dance the spring away.
i fall in love with you everyday,
and if we don't have forever
that doesn't really matter.
the moments we've had together
are enough to set fire
to my hesitation
and ignite new intentions
this is worth all of the heartache
that i may later have to face.
and all of these days
have blown my mind
because i never thought there'd be a time
when i'd love again.
you're more than a boyfriend,
you're a best friend.
and in this splendor
your love is tender
i couldn't do better
than you if i tried.
when i'm with you i'm alive.
i'm glowing,
i'm holding
onto you
because i've never loved like this
i wish,
i could say i did
at one point
but i've never ever loved this way.
which is to say,
you make me feel like the world around me
could crash and burn
but i wouldn't care,
because you put out the flames in my head,
i could say it's not fair,
how i want to compare
you to every season
love you beyond reason
kiss you until i'm breathing
the air you're needing.
but thank you
for loving me,
when no one bothered
to give me a chance
and as we dance away the spring,
your smile's still my favorite thing.
baby, who needs redbull,
when you've already given me wings?