No one loves me
I'm not worth a single drop of blood

It would be wasted
If you spilt it for me

And dry your tears
For I'm the only one that has to cry

This time,
So there's no use shedding them for me

Sometimes, I wish I knew
How to disappear completely

So no one would remember my voice
Have no memories with me

I feel like life
Would merrily move along

If I were just simply
Gone
                     Gone

    Gone.

I don't want to be that girl
the one in the way
or the one who cries from the pain.
The girl that they look at and see needy.
I'm not that girl who needs people,
but every once in a while I need a friend.
Someone to be there as a shoulder to cry on
or to give me a hug on the few times I need one.
I don't want to be looked after
and I don't want someone always there.
I want to be alone to write
to draw
to cry
or to bury myself in my music.
I need them there during the hard times
the times I break and melt down.
When the pain gets overwhelming
and theres nothing I can do.
Just as I know that, that's when they need me.
I'm there for the hard times
for their melt downs
and overwhelming pain.
Yet, when I need them
they are no where to be found.
It hurts to know they don't see friendship
the same as me.
"Friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient,
it's about being there when it's not."
I guess a true friend is hard to find.

Men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses.

You are vile, cruel to women and callous,
This is not my country...this is not my home.


Your men fight battles over themselves
Cowards who wag tails for authority
and are not ashamed to beat up the weak
This is not my country...this is not my home

You who have silenced so many
On the topic of ****, ****** harassment and other crimes

You who have given me no choice as a woman
but to cleave my way through your vile judgments

Your insolence is all I can see, and I don't wish to return

I don't wish to be loyal to one who cannot hold any respect


For me or my fellow women


this is not my country.


this is not my home.

The moment of
utopia
Where ragged breath is
  broken
And for a second,
gravity consumes the both of us

The blood wasnt pumping anymore.
  your body can still thrive without a brain but never without a heart
I think thats why ive always felt dead.
  My heart was bitter and black, the only sound escaping it were the whispers of envious mad men looking for their sanity.
  Love didnt have a home in my body, only a motel room where it would come and go but never stay long. Dissarayed sheets and the lights off, hands searching for love but only finding lust.
  I learned to never beg for it to stay the morning after, it always left when the sunlight flitted over last nights empty promises.
  If love ever came knocking now i wouldnt have the slighest clue, id slam the door before it even stepped a foot in.

The dreamy eye lashes of your eyes
When they meet,

The soft wisps of your hair
When they fly,

The quiver of your lips
When you feel shy,

The spell of your smile
When it comes by

Stirs the void in me.

Resurrects the dream.

And my heart,
Then embarks on a flight
Of myriad conjectures
Only to stumble
And fall
In the abyss
Of lustful hope.
.. Yet again.