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Aug 2022 · 86
Time
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
The Past and the Present,
Though neither are pleasant,
Both make me the person
That I am today

The Future that comes,
As the clock blindly runs,
Must be held by the reigns
So it won't run away
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 7.
..-. ..- -.-. ..-
Aug 2022 · 177
Reflections
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
Reflections I've seen
in the pool of the self

Whenever my glasses
come down from the shelf

With changing distortions
that ripple and swell

The smallest of pebbles
can shatter my shell
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 6.
Aug 2022 · 75
Phenomenological
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
I guess it's just logical
Return of the Prodigal
Who traded their pants
For a pair half the size

It's good if you're able
To get yourself stable
With your life in your hands
Not in prejudiced eyes
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, Poem 5.
Aug 2022 · 85
The Looney Limerick (CW)
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
There once was a ****** from France
Who lived with his brain in a trance
  They called him insane,
  So he climbed up a crane
And they sadly unbalanced his stance
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 4.
Aug 2022 · 150
Babble
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
I heard a babbler
Yelling in the wind
Inviting all
To be absolved of sin

He talked of God
And of His Holy Powers
At length, and captively
I heard for hours

But even after
Listening and thought
The Word I heard
To me,
Means close to Naught
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 3.
Aug 2022 · 73
The Maze
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
They hold her down
She casts her frozen gaze

Straight at the cieling
Peering through the haze

Within the meadows
Winding like a maze

She's lost
And wanders
As yet unknown ways
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 2.
I witnessed 6 restraint incidents on my first day in.
Aug 2022 · 73
Methodology
Filomena Rocca Aug 2022
By methodology
Empirical
We demonstrate
The world is spherical

Alas, within I find
No evidence
That there is anything
Like innocence

And as my status quo
Is under trial
I take a dose
Of Vitamin Denial
Psych ward poetry.
Set 3, poem 1.
Jul 2022 · 143
Appraisal
Filomena Rocca Jul 2022
A piece of potential
Worth more than a life?
Yet ever essential
The needle and knife

Though you keep on sounding
The drum and the fife,
Our pushback compounding
Won't shy from your strife

Do you see mere utensils
In your daughter and wife?
No piece of potential's
Worth more than their life.
Jul 2022 · 613
The Mirror
Filomena Rocca Jul 2022
A forest reflected
By river's clear flow
But both sides connected
By a bridge hanging low

I step through the mirror
Prolonging my path
Is everything clearer?
Or would I rather a bath?
Jun 2022 · 343
The Fuzzy Boots
Filomena Rocca Jun 2022
Toasty toes
And a frosty nose
And a smile that glows
As along her way she goes

Because on her feet
Are a warm and fuzzy treat
That are tapping down the street
In a lovely laid-back beat

And she sees the stares
And she feels the passing glares
But she hardly even cares
It's a challenge no-one dares

So she walks along
Weaving proudly through the throng
And she sings her carefree song
Just so happy to belong

As her lover and friends
Never judge her based on trends
There's no need to make amends
With a world that just contends

Toasty toes
And a frosty nose
And a smile that glows
As along her way she goes
Lyrics for a Bossa Nova style piece I've been working on.
May 2022 · 681
The Executioner (CW)
Filomena Rocca May 2022
They lead her out in irons
Like butchers lead a sheep
The screaming of the sirens
Awakes the town from sleep

On one arm walks an elder
On the opposite a priest
Behind, an executioner
His eyes raised to the east

Is this not what He wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as Our Father promised
We'll see His enemy die

Around the grim procession
The people come in crowds
To see the wrathful session
Beneath the darkening clouds

Awaiting her arrival
At a place arrayed with skulls
For the sake of their survival
The congregation culls

Is this not what we wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as Our Father promised
We'll see our enemy die

They hold her in position
Her face against a wall
Expecting some contrition
Expecting her to stall

But though her eyes show terror
They also show resolve
No apology for error
No need to be absolved

Is this not all they wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as my father promised
They'll see his enemy die

His weapon at the ready
The headsman heaves a sigh
A lengthy hesitation
That makes her wonder why

She glances past her shoulder
At the killer in his place
And suddenly goes cold
As she sees her father's face

Is this not what you wanted?
On Earth as in the sky
Just as your Father promised
You'll see the enemy die

[Her] Coward!

[Executioner] *******!

[Elders] Demon ****!

[Crowd] ****! ****! ****!

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

The old man holds a grimace
And tightly shuts his eyes
His soul he sees as sinless
As fast his weapon flies
Lyrics of a metal style song I've been working on.
May 2022 · 331
Four 4 letter words
Filomena Rocca May 2022
I
[4 letter word that you can use in various ways that are mostly positive]
You.

Please
[4 letter word that you can use in various ways that are mostly negative]
Me.

I
[4 letter word indicating notable extension in space or time]
For you.

Be
[4 letter word denoting truth, actuality, and authenticity]
For me.
May 2022 · 184
Squeak
Filomena Rocca May 2022
It's fun to be a freak
Just be sure you don't look weak
Because before you even speak
They'll be quick with their critique

Yeah, it's fine to be unique
But if safety's what you seek
Make the necessary tweak
Before you end up in the creek
May 2022 · 1.4k
An Intersection
Filomena Rocca May 2022
I have heard someone say
That I'll always be conic,
But I find, in a way,
That the thought is quite comic

As it's clear that my gains
Come by means of a tonic,
I'll eschew needless pains
'Cause my shape is iconic!

(Though I wish in my heart
That my words were ironic,
I have known from the start
That I'll always be conic)
May 2022 · 115
Hongry
Filomena Rocca May 2022
Cuddles are cute.
So are smooches and pecks
And hugs are a hoot
But I'm hungry for Chex™
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever written.
May 2022 · 220
Stressing Incessantly
Filomena Rocca May 2022
I'm stressing incessantly
And obsessing unpleasantly
Second-guessing at pleasantries
I'm progressing, but hesitantly

My headspace is mangled
And my thought strings all tangled
My bootstraps finangled
My hands shackled and strangled

I move forward, but slowly
With my forehead hung lowly
Whisper words for the lonely
Like my birdsong, if only
May 2022 · 386
Whose Pain is this, Anyway?
Filomena Rocca May 2022
A tasty pastry baked by pain
Is made with bakers' stolen grain
But maids and butlers go insane
To take the tasty, not the plain
Filomena Rocca May 2022
The recommendation tab's
Second invasion has
Beckoned a case of bad
Dreckish evasion paths
What does this mean?
May 2022 · 827
I don't know what to say
Filomena Rocca May 2022
I don't know what to say.
This is horrible and terrifying.
To ***** out the hope and joy of so many children.
To criminalize the support of their wellbeing.

Death will come from this.
Children choosing death as they see their existence outlawed.
Supporters of such laws know what they are doing.

You know who you are.
Written in response to the criminalization of trans- related healthcare for minors in Alabama.
Apr 2022 · 746
Defying Dissonance
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
My teacher says there are no Christian witches
My good friend says no lesbians go by he
My father says degenerates belong in ditches
I guess just be the way you want to be
Apr 2022 · 388
Enjoy, You're Stew
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Roses are dead
And rabbits are stew
You say you're in heaven
I don't believe you

The roses and rabbits
Will dance on your grave
But hope in a habit
If it helps you behave
First poem of a pair.
Apr 2022 · 102
In Joy, Yours Too!
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
A rosebud stands rigid
Bedazzled by dew
The morning is frigid
But the Sun shines anew

Surrounding the flower
The rabbits all dance
Enjoying Earth's bounty
Of blossoms and plants
Second poem of a pair.
Apr 2022 · 471
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Utaitai.
Ai ni tsuite utaitai.
Sukina mono ni tsuite.
Jaa, sukina mono ha nani.
Anata desu yo. ♡

I want to sing.
To sing a song regarding love.
About the things I really like.
What is it that I really like?
Of course it's you, my love. ♡
Tried writing in (very basic) Japanese.
Posted in romanji because this website hates Japanese characters for some reason.
Apr 2022 · 233
Holding
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
I'm holding tightly to your hand
Before dissolving into sand

I always keep you in my mind
Before my memory goes blind

I linger in a tender kiss
I know full well I'll sorely miss

I love you-- Need to make it clear
Before the moments disappear
Apr 2022 · 898
The Man and his Hand
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
I won't bite the hand that feeds me,
But I'll fight the man that bleeds me
Though the fear of him may sieze me
I won't let the terror freeze me

If we have a rightful reason
To commit an act of treason
Then I see no better season
To do more than put our pleas in

And so what if someone sees it?
Don't be quiet to appease it
To the system you don't matter
So be heard over the chatter

Can't you hear the summon pealing?
From the body comes the healing
Till the time of our releasing
Our resistance be increasing!
Apr 2022 · 407
Don't dwell on it
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Here, I live, but I'm not living
In this land of no forgiving
My existence is a burden
So I won't try to be a person

Mi loĝas, sed ne vivas
Kaj se eĉ la suno brilas
Bone pli, mi ne ekzistu
Do mi neniel insistu

Wie zu wuhne unne lewe
Unn zu keemols sei vergewe
Ich bin umringt vun die Gretze
Unn kann niemols daerfe schwetze
English, Esperanto, Pennsilvaanisch Deitsch
Apr 2022 · 636
A Reason to Stay
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Can't make me want to stay alive.
It's sisyphean if you try.
You can, however, make things worse--
Suggest a ride inside a hearse.

-- Before, that sentiment held true,
But that's before my meeting you!
With you I've found a taste of mirth
And more-- A motive on this Earth.
Apr 2022 · 115
Working Title
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
No lies detected
No lines deflected
No files protected
No failures projected

An optimist outlook
Point power presents
Till reps of the rulebook
Demand recompense
Apr 2022 · 229
You Make Me
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
You make me easy
and I make you hard
You can't help but tease me
When I let down my guard

I get all flustered
And stammer and sigh
And see love in the luster
Of light in your eye
Apr 2022 · 1.1k
Carpe Ventum
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Worthless, worthless, says the preacher
Self-important, self-taught teacher

Worthless, worthless, says the buyer
Yet your price was never higher

You get it cheap, and start to boast
And then leave nothing for the host

But emperors are like their clothes
Their what and whether no-one knows

You take their treasure in your hand
And feel your fist is full of sand

You search for some security
See things become, but never be

Why seek to run a perfect race,
If past the sun is only space?

Would you rather face the end?
Or live to chase the wind?
Late 2018 - April 2022
Apr 2022 · 347
Querer
Filomena Rocca Apr 2022
Yo sí te quiero
Mi caballero
El mundo entero
No quiero más

Yo te ador'
En el resplendor
De nuestro amor
Me siento en paz

Yo sí te quiero
Y siempre espero
Mostrar y verlo
Tu amor además
Traté de escribir un poema en español.
Es sencillo, pero estoy relativamente satisfecha.
Mar 2022 · 448
The Everything Bagel
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
The everything bagel
Left out on the table
Forgotten has gotten
All moldy and rank

In the ancient one's hovel
Suppose if you grovel
Avoid being boiled
In his scalding hot tank

It'll all be discarded
Make sure that it's guarded
The teachers and leechers
Assemblies to thank

But if you're taking chances
Despite circumstances
Assume that the room
Is just empty and blank
Mar 2022 · 179
Pitter Patter
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
Your pitter patter doesn't matter
The maddest hatter's just a quack.

If you can stand her, take a gander
In your stranger's candy sack.

No-one knows her; lazy dozer
Hangs her clothes up on a rack.

Tired of betting, now regretting
Never getting chances back.
Mar 2022 · 116
Dream On
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
an evening in an envelope
a river set on fire
a pearl inside a cantaloupe
a pointy cubic tire

a vacuum full of pressure waves
a Buddha full of pride
a panda in the everglades
an ego set aside

a childhood dream is coming true
the Lord is coming back
I have a million here for you
inside a penny wrap
Mar 2022 · 110
Dope
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
Hope is dead
but head is dope

Hope I'm ready
tying rope

Universal
crying trope

Only worsens
trying to cope
Mar 2022 · 194
Merde d'Artiste
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
Yes! That's it!
I'll sell my ****!
Packed up in tin!
I'll be a hit!

For all the art
My mind creates
Amounts to ****
My reason hates

But if you'd like
To feel confused
Then take a look
Or just peruse!
After midnight Mar. 5/6, 2022
Mar 2022 · 2.2k
The Silent Mage
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
The mage with her sage
was cleaning her cage
imagining tragedy's
angels engage

She erected a sigil
protecting her vigil
a palindrome had in Rome
angst to assuage

As she brought out her cards
she thought of the bards
had her spirit inherited
some of their ways?


When she put them away
she had nothing to say
and the guides of her writing
were silent for days
Late evening of Thu. Mar. 3, 2022
This pessimistic version was written first.
Mar 2022 · 1.6k
The Inspired Mage
Filomena Rocca Mar 2022
The mage with her sage
was cleaning her cage
imagining tragedy's
angels engage

She erected a sigil
protecting her vigil
a palindrome had in Rome
angst to assuage

As she brought out her cards
she thought of the bards
had her spirit inherited
some of their ways?


When she put them away
she had cart loads to say
and the guides of her writing
stayed by her for days!
Late evening Thu. Mar. 3, 2022.
This more optimistic version was written immediately after the first.
So mote it be!
Feb 2022 · 1.6k
Visage
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
You can't erase your face.
You can't retrace or displace
the lines you dislike.
Some people try. Why?
At best it makes a mess.

Why am I upset by a little extra bone?
The external effects of my natural testosterone?
How can a bit of unwanted hair excite despair?
Why do I care?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pointlessly worry
about silly points
like the size of my shoulders
or my knee and thumb joints.
My hairline, my brow ridge,
the shape of my nose,
my masculine pelvis,
my crooked man toes...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My eyes are fine --
My only feature I like.
My shy smile is alright
but not too wide
'cause of my overbite --
-- the size of those incisors!

Now, some would say that I'm just vain,
so self-obsessed I've gone insane.
But I would say that's how we're trained,
At least in this day and age.

Others might paint me like Dorian Gray
praying to Satan for youth to stay,
but I just wish it hadn't gone this way.

Why would you keep your looks immutable
if you were never to begin with beautiful?
Nov. 2018 - Feb. 2022
I wrote most of this poem from a pre-transition perspective.
My circumstances and perspective have changed a fair bit.
I tried to emulate the original perspective in my later additions.
Feb 2022 · 470
Unedified
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
He said,
Now please attend
My praying class,
But don't offend
By playing crass!

I heard
A Crashing Cymbal,
Sounding Brass,
A Blasting Wind,
A Braying ***.

In the end,
Despite the way
The teacher tried,
I still remain
Unedified.
A Pauline reference.
Written Feb. 26, 2022.
Augmented and edited the following day.
Feb 2022 · 414
Tumbling Mumbling
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
******* hell
stuck in gel
down a well
brownstone shell

jumbled brain
tumbling train
mumbling rain
crumb of pain

ghastly face
nasty trace
silent pace
file in place

all a game
act the same
feel no shame
killing name
Late Feb. 2022
Feb 2022 · 730
The Place
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
There's an addict in the attic,
and a trans girl in the tub;
There's an immigrant, Hispanic,
and a criminal in love.

There's a shaman burning incense,
and a gamer taking shots;
There's our upperclass equivalent,
and a noisy group of thots.

And the lady takes our livelihood
and somehow still stays poor,
so please make sure the lights are out,
and always lock the door.
Sat. Feb. 26, 2022
One word has been censored.
Feb 2022 · 344
Haiku 10: Ouch
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
ouch! that hurts my heart
I guess you didn't mean it
sorry, nevermind.
A common thought process when I feel insulted.
Feb 2022 · 460
A Whole Latte
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
I like you a lot.
I'm glad that we met.
I'm always happy to see you...

I worry it's hard
to deal with my ****
and still want me to be near you...

I feel really lucky.
It seems so unlikely
you'd see me as endearing...

But like air on a flame
when you call me by name
my heart lifts at the hearing.
For someone special.
Feb 2022 · 1.1k
The Gift of Assimilation
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
I never make friends;
My friends make me.
And it happens incredibly infrequently.

I'm naturally passive,
and purposefully patient,
so I'm glad for the gift of assimilation.
Feb 2022 · 316
Adulterated
Filomena Rocca Feb 2022
Life doesn't get me high anymore,
But unfortunately I'm still addicted.
Jan 2022 · 128
Right Now!
Filomena Rocca Jan 2022
Sometimes you wait and nothing happens.
That's why I'm not waiting.
Nov. 2018
Jan 2022 · 1.4k
Episode
Filomena Rocca Jan 2022
My Body cannot Cry,
but my Soul Screams Eternally
Nov. 2018
It seems to be a common experience for pre/non-HRT trans women to feel like they *should* cry when they are upset, but are physically unable to.
Jan 2022 · 403
Deep end
Filomena Rocca Jan 2022
When I was little, I fell into the deep end of a swimming pool.
While I can't have been under for more than a few seconds,
it felt like hours before anyone reached out their hand.
A true story (to the best of my recollection)
Currently publishing some of my old, less traditional poetry
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