thorns close in on my heart
causing a pain in my chest
almost unbearable
i just want my thoughts to stop
i want all this pressure to go away
i want my friends to listen
i want everything i don't have.

my eyes are constellations
in your starry sky
they reflect you
they see you
they feel you.

i feel almost
like that one night
where I sunk
down, down, down.

my eyelids heavy
i try to lift dead weight i
was not destined for

the panging feeling in my chest
is trying to tell me something
but i'm not exactly sure what

-alexa

the weight on my chest has been lifted.
i may not be fully happy today, or tomorrow,
but i know that at least
i told someone something
before i would face never being happy again.

Skin so soft
Smile so big
We hold hands
And are happy

You radiate happiness.

Although we're just friends
You are the best thing to happen to me.

Calm
I wish I could feel such a thing.

But with a mind like mine,
that's impossible.

Thoughts don't have the ability to stay 'calm'.

What even is calm?

Is it the rain dripping off of a sunflower's leaves as a night storm approaches?

The faint voices of teenagers singing their hearts out to Broadway shows they only dream to be in?

The whir of city streets, traffic, and crowds cheering for street performers?

The peaceful being of someone you love sleeping?

Calm.
If only I were to achieve this,
then, maybe, just maybe,
I'd be happy.

there's something about
old, repressed memories
that makes them want to emerge
from our bodies, minds, and souls.

if you're brave enough, go ahead.
open a scrapbook, a photo album,
play those old songs you listened to as a kid,
do things because you want to remember.

the dusty fake flowers
on the grave
remind me of
how i thought you were eternal

i thought i knew
what it was like to be afraid

that was until
i heard the bone-chilling voice
of someone who hurt me.

i ran faster than ever,
i locked my door,
and i sat there, shaking violently.

this is what he's done to me.
that ******* of a boy.

on the tip of my tongue
those three little words
they don't have to be big
but i dont have the courage

is it too soon?
it's been but a week
but i'm ninety percent sure
that these feelings aren't bleak

still, i hold it in
i'm a dam for my feelings
instead i'll stay home
and stare at the ceiling

it's painted with words
i've not said to you
but one day i'll have courage
to say 'i love you'

you're my diamond in the rough

i wish calm
was an easy outlet for me
but it's all but easy

your silence
is my strength.

tears drip down the cheek of your loved one
without you knowing
and most definitely without you caring
because how could you care about someone so worthless?
worth comes naturally to you but not to me
and i am that loved one
the one with the tears of the unknown
so you don't care
or know.

bubbling
floating
small, low buzz

let myself
go numb for a while
in the warm waters

close my eyes
lose the ability to feel

Rip currents.
They pull and tear
your life away.
They're stronger than we are,
and much, much more dangerous.
Drowning has never
been so easy,
I'm afraid.

there is something about the melancholy
i haven't felt in so long
that is so inviting

like picking needles from haystacks
i search for it, almost.
why is that so?
why must i search for sadness?

you're beautiful
and although you know it
i'd like to tell you one more time
because the more, the merrier.

-i've always been into quotes like that

and just like that
she was a broken soul
wandering in the wind

it's not until now
that i've finally understood
the feeling of loneliness
in a crowded room.

these people know nothing about me
because i give them nothing
because i don't know how
to give them something.

but it's okay.
i'll sit in the sidelines
watching everyone get along
while i feel lonely in this crowded room.