The leaves they're flying instead of falling
I guess this is the part that's beautiful
The somewhere in between
Perhaps falling isn't
The ******* worst

i did my affirmations and found i am open minded
and i tried to look myself in the eye and found i couldn’t
i could only see my features,
my cheek bones mostly.
and the corners of my lips.
that slight point.
of looking myself in the eye
seemed so **** difficult..
no wonder i did it without saying anything
and i caught my lip’s points fall.

I sit in this hospital
For someone else that isn't me
Instead, for someone finally trying to be
The person that's underneath all of those bottles

We thought you'd scream and fight
Instead it was almost like we had reached
Your destination of the beach

As we pulled in you freaked
A little about the record
And what they would think of you
You, black pants and no shoes

Really, though -
Who could not respect
A young man standing tough
In the waiting room of an emergency room
Finally accepting help

the way this hat feels
on my head
its such a soft wool
its creating a light pull
on the back of my hair
but in reality
warm are my ears
its a deep shade of violet
the color of royalty
i'll reach that shortly
it's knitted quite tightly
but the pull,
it's kind of light
it works with my outfit
my ex's tye dye t-shirt
with a button up
that just happens to be tribal print
i picked it up
the day after i had stayed
that shirt matches my shoes
i took the laces out not long ago
i felt like it would be a better show
they're more comfy now
that's how this whole room feels

Trembling hands
Hands all over you
Your skin I know so well
So well like our love
Deep and endless

Endless is what we thought
Thoughts are turning into reality
The reality of you
And me
Working through my disease

My disease we worked through four years
Why not make it forty more
Forty more ounces
Until I forget my mistakes

My mistakes landed me here
Here in my bed alone
Alone
Alone at night
When I coulda shoulda stayed

I should have stayed in the house
The house you bought for us
For our woulda been family
Family means our furbaby
Family is ohana

You never left me
I never wanted to leave.
I just always thought it was better
You without me.