You stab me in the back with a knife,
and I apologize for bleeding on it.

I dream of true love and romance,
and just wait for it to come and pass.

I weave tales of happy endings,
and ignore the cold world around me.

I hope someday, I will find true love.
And weave my own happy ending.

But until then, I'm happy to dream.
And continue on my hunt for love.

Ignoring the dark, and embracing the hopeful light,
I will search and search, never giving up...hope.

A melancholic I am becomin'

I wish that you can feel my teardrops on your skin

After a long time I have been keeping in

Now the dams are leakin'

Trying to not make you feel mean

I hope this thing does not begin

When you are talkin'

It makes me feel like there is somethin'

You are the reason I could feel the adrenaline

When you are starin'

You make my heart stopped beatin'

When you are lookin'

I stopped breathin'

Now I am fallin'

Yet I do not want to get drownin'

It will make my head start spinnin'

Something I put on my face,  it is a big grin

And now I am gigglin'

Because I am forgettin'

The reason for all those things.

I see you.
I see you for what you are.
I see the hate and the self betrayal.
I see the lies of a life that was never to be yours.
I see a devil inside you, dancing beneath the pale moonlight.

I love you.
I love you even though its wrong.
I love you through the pain and deceit.
I love you with every bone within this decaying body.
I love you, even though I know you killed me with a smile on your lips.

I lie here.
I lie here in my hole.
I lie here in my hole with no name at all.
I lie here because you put me here in my bed of dirt.
I lie here with the hands of a devil around my throat.

I see you; don't you see me?

I love you; will you love me?

I lie here; wont you come into my bed and rest your head?

She was so generous
that she left me with innumerable sorrows.

I was so selfish
that I couldn't give her anything but Love.



El egoísmo    

Ella era tan generosa
Que me dejó con incontables penas.  

Yo era tan egoísta  
Que no le pude dar nada excepto amor.

I no longer wake up in the morning longing for your touch
or wishing I could see the tired look in your eyes
as we rush to a class we don't care about
I don't search your stupid youtube videos anymore when I am lonely
When I am lonely
I often have to remind myself it is better to be alone
I unfollowed you on instagram
but I still keep tabs on your pictures
not because I miss you
but because I often have to remind myself where this bitterness comes from
why my chest is ice cold
why I am angry at geography
why
I no longer dream of you every third night
but you flutter on the inside of my eyelids
before I fade into darkness
I no longer dream of you every third night
because I no longer dream
There is only darkness
until I awake
where I do not even wish for light
because then I would see what I am missing when my day begins

I don't even know you
I've talked to you once
A tiny exchange of words
But I swear
You captivate me
With how you look
In my mind
I picture you being mine
The things I'd do to you
I thought I'd never do
There are other beauties in this world
You are not the only girl
But you're the only one
My eyes choose to see
You're the only one
Who has this great affect on me
I don't know your heart
I don't know your mind
But I do know your body
And I'm in love with it

In the summer of my life,
When I swore, promised, even,
If only to my sad-broken-self,
Nurturing a heart beyond repair,
I would never venture abroad,
Never again sail from safe shores,
I awake, open my eyes, smile,
I am in love, and I’m not afraid.

Beyond anything previously known,
A new experience, fresh, bright,
A meeting of not only hearts,
But emotionally bonded, strong,
Immeasurable depths, mind, spirit,
Two coalesced as one, bliss,
Forging a blended alloy of love,
In the summer of my life.

©Paul Chafer 2014