A man was sitting in a barren landscape
Only cracks in the orange clay
And scorpions for company
And it was very dry

One day the man was sitting in meditation,
And felt himself to be hot,
So he breathed
And when he released this breath,
Trees sprang from the ground
And a pool opened at his feet
He opened his eyes, and he said
"This is not enough"

The next day, the man sat in meditation once more
And he held out his hand and said
"By my divine energy I will there to be a palace for me!"
And from his hand leapt 10,000 bricks
That formed themselves into a castle
Greater than the Taj Mahal
And he sat upon his new throne
And was happy

One day, again, he sat in meditation in his palace
And he thought "I need servants to tend to my whims!"
And he regurgitated 4 servant girls
who would see to his needs as he saw them

Many months later, after much lavish living and unhealthy eating,
He found himself with all of his riches,
all of his silks, and his exotic animal skins and servants,
Still unsatisfied, he went to meditate in his great hall,
He asked himself "Why can't I be truly satisfied? Give me a vision.
Give me a sign that I've made the right decisions"

The man found himself in the place he was truly happy
But he was confused, as he had been here before
He was seeing himself sitting on the orange clay,
At play with a scorpion,
Searching for his water for the day

"But I've had my fill" he tells himself
"I drink so much water a day I could drown a fish.
I wear such nice silks I counted down to the ten thousandth stitch
How can I be unhappy if I'm so lavishly rich?"

And that's when he realized,
that happiness isn't measured in the gold of a ring,
Or being acknowledged as some sort of king,
Happiness is having just the right amount of water from the spring,
Not the precious metals and fabric to which we cling,
And as his palace of fools gold crumbled down,
He sprang and danced and looked all around
And felt so happy he started to sing

I was tired of disappointing myself so I left
And when I tried to come back
There was no room for anything else
A monster had taken my place
Taken the name
Autumn
With the same hair and muscles
The bones were the same
But the smile was different
The eyes lacked the glimmer that once was
And I resigned
To the back seat
Of this fancy day dream

Ever since I was a little girl, I saw things no one saw.
I always looked at the world with awe.
I saw the beauty in people who weren't loved,
In every ******, outcast, and victim.
I was isolated from the world,
For I was merely a girl.
While girls liked dolls and wanted to be Daphane from ****** doo,
I wanted to be Velma and do what all the boys wanted to do.
I robe my bike around my yard,
Even though I would fall on the rocks and hit the pavement really hard.
I had little friends,
I was weird to no end.
I tried to be normal,
I tried to catch up to the people.
However, they didn't see me,
I would just be left all lonely.
I hated elementary,
They only reminded me of being lonely.
I wanted to leave,
I wanted to be free.
I remember that wish as I hung out at the swings,
How I wished that I had wings.
I wanted escape the oppression of my school and home,
I wanted a real friends and I hoped.
Boys were always first.
At home, it was not different, they were the worst.
My older sister said that I had everything that I wanted,
That I was a spoiled brat and unwanted.
My older brother would push me and grab me by the arm,
Saying that I was in the way, causing even more harm.
My mom sided with them,
She only didn't want to get in trouble from HIM.
My dad,
The core of troubles, the only one I can't stand.
Always putting boys first,
Teaching us girls that our job was to cater to them and worst.
We had no say,
We had to do everything he wants in order to stay.
I found no beauty in the family,
It was rotten to the core, it was greedy.
I was hoping that they would see the things that I see,
Stop the nightmares from my closet from coming after me.
I wished they stopped arguing,
I wished they were a real family.
I had no escape,
I didn't even have my own dreams to escape.
I was haunted by nightmares and arguments,
I wanted them all to end.
I would watch a monster from my closet **** everyone near me,
Coming after me.
No one listened,
I was mistaken.
I grew older and eventually stopped pretending,
I shut myself in my walls and shielding.
In the 3rd grade, I stopped wearing pink,
I stopped listening.
I hid behind a frown,
I stopped chasing after the ones who weren't around.
I became an adult when I was young,
I didn't even have a childhood to be proud of.
I couldn't stop seeing beauty,
But I refused to be a victim to their cruelty.
I was an empty shell of a innocent girl,
A young soul who saw the beauty in the world.
I had kept this charade for a couple of years,
Then my wall started to get cracks and tears.
I remember people who saw me,
I remember the ones who became my friends and, later, family.
They finally came,
They finally saw me for who I am and didn't want me to change.
My walls took heavy fire,
It was weakening more than I had desired.
I was scared,
What if they didn't really care?
We went on to high school,
Still friends from middle school.
Then he came into my life,
Putting an end to my shell to hide.
My love came and pulled me out of my shell,
Promising freedom from this hell.
I couldn't believe it,
I didn't think that I was getting what I wished.
My angel with black and red wings,
He's finally come to save me.
They came to save me,
My friends and my real family.

Everyone is so sick and tired
of being sick and tired.

I'm sick of writing poems
for the same person,
and I long for the day,
where I completely stop feeling
the constant necessity
to reach out to them.

I'm tired of not being able
to say the word "love"
and I wish every night,
that I will eventually have the courage
to scream it from the summit
of every building
in the whole world.

Oh, we complain,
and we ache,
but in the end,
nothing's changing,
and we're the same
useless beings
we were before.

You're sick tired
of being sick and tired,
but when will you actually
do something about it?