NEW YEAR
And so, a new year begins
With new determination in our endeavors
And a new array of concoctions
Which we hoped, would help our hangovers

A renewed promise for coming events
Not to overindulge in our usual sense
But display a new moderation
To avoid that yearly, consequence
BOEMS BY JA 487

How I wish to embrace each day
Meet the Morn with a song in my heart
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey

Despair rises up, much to my dismay
Clouding my judgment and tearing me apart
How I wish to embrace each day

A new day dawns, but still with feet of clay
I succumb to the darkness, wishing it would depart
As depression pulls me into the dull and grey

I awake with good intentions that go astray
It’s a constant struggle that I don’t wish to be a part of
How I wish to embrace each day

Out of the quagmire I make my way
Towards the light, thinking it’s a new start
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey

How wondrous it must be to find one’s way
Rising above the despair and make a new start
How I wish to embrace each day
Instead depression pulls me into the dull and grey  

Kelly Rose
December 8, 2015

An idea creates a spark
My life is the fuel
My ***** ***** life
It catches on quick
Lighting a fire

Filthy and unclean
Soon to be amended

Burning
Burning away the guilt
Incinerating the pain
Ridding myself of every feeling
Cleansing myself for the end

I am clean now

I slowly tie a noose
Testing the rope
It's strong
It's gonna work

I am clean now
Nothing matters to me this time

I've let go of my ties
It was me who burnt them away
I betrayed myself
It is I who must be cleansed

I am clean now
Pure enough to leave

Knotting the rope to the steel pipe
Testing it once more
Pulling a chair up
Place the loop over my head

I am clean now
This is my end

I feel my heart skipping a beat
I am finally here
I raise one foot and kick back with the other
I hang here for hours

I am clean now
I am pure

I am the purest of all

I don't think that people fall out of love. That if you truly felt that way, it never changes. I think many people feel lust, and lust fades. Love can't. Love changes with the seasons, but just like the sun, it doesn't simply disappear. I fell in love with you. As sad or naïve as it is, it won't ever fade.

For you are my stars, my moon and my entire night sky.

No longer will you diminish my light
I'm soaring through the galaxies
The stars are at my fingertips
I'm finding my soul again
*I am triumphant

passing the torch of love
from one heart to another
touching each
in very different ways
witnessing the shrinking
of the flame
before each passing
having it reignited
by a new hand
dimming when the new
becomes old
and always
searching endlessly
   for the eternal fuel.

If only there could have been
some type of an in-between
That could take me for awhile
to a world that I've never seen

It's not that I want to come
It's just I don't want to go
It's not that I want a high
It's just I don't want a low

I don't want myself without
But I don't want myself within
I don't want to commit to good
But I don't want to commit to sin 

It's not that I want to win
It's just I don't want to lose
It's not that I want a mystery
It's just I don't want the clues

I don't want to say hello 
But I don't want to say goodbye
I don't want myself to live
But I don't want myself to die

If only there could have been
some type of an in-between
That could take me for awhile
to a world that I've never seen

There were times
I believed the lines
Of songs that said
There was love for me

Hoped that there was
Some happy family
That wouldn’t dare
Strike me
But would care
And accept me

There were times
When I wrapped myself up in
The illusions
Of religion
Thinking
Perhaps hoping
That god would stop the pain
Coping with the strain
Of trying to sustain
A positive personality

There were times
When dreams
Could carry me on
When anger made me strong
And I still had some hope

There were times
I knew my mind
Knew who I was
But the world spins
Times keep changing

And the old me
I don’t know him
I’m just a strange river
That keeps flowing
Sometimes shrinking
Other times growing
But never stopping
Just going and going
Wherever the times take me