If my life were a painting,
It would be of the night.
Of rain on pavements,
Reflecting street lights.
And sat on a bench,
shadowed and dark,
Would be a boy in a coat,
Too big and covered in marks.

But life isn't painting,
But a series of stills,
And if you wind the reel forward,
The boy grows, the coat he fills.
And now, another figure joins him,
Pulls him off the bench, to his feet,
And now, they start dancing,
In each other's arms, down the street.

Drenched in rain,
He takes off his coat,
Wraps it around her,
And pulls out a ring and a note.
With a tear of joy, she nods,
With a nervous laugh, he stands,
The sun starts to rise,
As they hold each other's hands.

Then, just a frame or two on,
A small figure runs up to the pair,
And the boy - now a man,
Lifts the child in the air.
Smiling, he holds his wife and child close,
And wipes the rain from their faces,
As the sun is overhead,
And light shines onto their embraces.

And so a new painting forms,
Brighter, now the sun's above,
And the coat around her shoulders,
Reminds her of his love.

You fill every moment,
With light I thought I'd lost,
You fill every moment,
With hope I thought had gone,
You fill every moment,
With peace I never thought would return.

Even in my sleep, my heart beats only for yours.
Even in my sleep, my mind dreams only of your smile.
Even in my sleep, my soul yearns only for yours to join.

Your words will fill my ears with music,
That harmonises perfectly with my song.
My song which is now devoted to you,
*With you, my love, I belong

There are some people
Who you can't imagine
Ever having a future with
But then there are some
You can see
So clearly
You can imagine them at the top of an aisle
You can imagine them cooking in the kitchen
You can imagine them playing with your children
You can imagine what it would feel like to come home to them
But you never tell them
Because, let's face it
You'd be scared if someone said that to you

My dear we have a week apart
An entire week of not seeing you
You'll be so far away from me
What am I supposed to do?

Perhaps we could do video chat
But then, that would be awkward, knowing us
I worry that we'll grow apart
Despite our growing online buzz

It's not like we don't talk anyway
Through Facebook and our various writing sites
But I love being around you in person
You send my heart rate to dizzying heights

Oh, I'm going to miss you so much
Miss your hugs and awkward looks
Your smiles and your hand in mine
The times we have to pretend we're reading books

I love you, you know this
But I'll say it, even so
And I know you have to do it
But I don't want you to go

Awake now,
Though it's not quite morning,
I won't sleep again,
The dark is too much for me.

I
Can
Keep
On
Recovering

I
Can't
Stop
My
Suffering

But you can, my love,
I know you're still here now I've returned

I'm afraid of safety, I'm afraid of help.
I'm afraid of telling anyone else.
I don't want sympathy, I don't want you to care.
I just want to be alone and pull out my hair.

But still you seem to try, you keep telling me "No,"
"You must listen, keep your chin up, I'm not going to go."
I'm fine on my own, I don't need you any more.
I tell you, leave me be, stop turning up at my door.

Then the darkness returns, and you're nowhere around.
I regret what I said in that stupid little row.
Forget all the moaning, forget my ill-chosen words.
I promise I didn't mean it, all of that was absurd.

Though I hate to admit it, and strange as it sounds,
Things always seem darker when you're not around.
You were right, I was wrong, you win, end of game,
I was foolish, especially knowing you've been through the same.

Though all along I told myself: I prefer to be alone,
I was missing by a mile and you got it in one.
What I really need now, is not solitude or pain,
But just a message asking "Are you alright?" again.

*Thank you and keep trying, ignore my deadly rage,
What I really need I had all along, a friend about my age.

If I had one wish
Anything at all
It would be to have the ability
To tell you how I feel
Your words are sweet and gentle
But I can't return them in that way
I'm no good at explaining my emotions
But I can try

You make me so happy
Just seeing your face, your name
You set my heart pounding
When you give me that look, that gaze
Your smile sends shivers down my spine
Your fingers as they dance across a piano
Entrance me to no end
Your face occupies most of my mind
But it's your words I fell in love with
Awkward at first, uncertain, unsteady
Then confident, bold, once you knew where we stood
Then frightened, saddened, as we became unstable
Then sorrowful, astonished, then loving and kind
It's your words I love the most about you

It was dark,
I couldn't see,
The light wasn't reaching me.
I was scared,
And I couldn't breathe,
I didn't have what I need.

But as I looked in the cupboards, for that box of who knows what,
A glimmer of hope hit me, I remembered, and I stopped.

I walked out, up to my room,
I lay in my bed, not sure what to do.
I thought about the moment, a month or so ago,
When you enjoyed talking to me, smiled and gave me hope.

All that was last summer,
In the depths of my despair,
And one day this summer,
I remembered being there,
Looking through the cupboards,
For the worst, finally prepared,
And I remembered not doing the right thing,
Because I was always too scared,
To say these words to you,
And strip my torn soul bare.

Thank you,
For giving me your time,
For accepting me for who I am,
And giving me one more shot.

Thank you,
For risking all you have,
On giving me a chance,
To give you something back.

Happiness
A word I'd forgotten
Love
A word I'd never known
Laughter
A word I couldn't let out
Until that day.

No one is perfect,
Of that there's no doubt,
But all your imperfections,
Seem to cancel out.
No one will harm you,
That's my promise today,
If you need me, anytime, anywhere,
Don't hesitate, just say.
No one is like you,
You're one of a kind,
And I know it sounds clichéd,
But you're always on my mind.
No one could reach me,
I was trapped in my own head,
Until one day this summer,
You threw my sorrow down dead.

No matter what happens, I'll love you for all of time
Because words I'd forgotten, are now forever mine.

I don't want to go,
I can't,
I messed everything up,
Let me stay home.
My head hurts,
I've had a cold,
I don't think I can get up,
Please, let me stay home.
I'm telling you,
I can't focus,
I won't be forced t-
Wait, was that my phone?

I heard its buzz,
Beside my head,
Who was it?
What have they said?
It's her, Oh God!
Don't let her hate me,
I made a mistake yes,
But still be my friend, please.
"Meet me in the library,
At the start of lunch",
She doesn't sound mad,
Or is that just a hunch?
The decision's made for me,
I'll happily go!
If not anything else,
I just need to know.
If she hates me that's fine,
I understand,
If not, then great!
That's better than planned.
The morning went so slowly,
Each second an age,
Waiting to find out how much,
I'll have to deal with your rage.

Then lunch came,
I was waiting again,
To see your anger break through.

But when you arrived,
You came with a smile,
And just wanted to tell me the truth.

After a few words,
I couldn't believe what I heard,
That you could keep cheerful and happy still.

And I felt compelled,
To begin to tell,
Secrets that made my heart chill.

Then suddenly, I felt your fingers,
Intertwined with mine,
And I realised something, which always lingers,
And will do for all of time.

I was so close to not going to school that day,
And I don't really want to imagine,
What would've happened if I hadn't heard that phone,
And I'd just turned over and let my heart sadden.

There was a time,
When if I tried to look through the window of my soul,
All I saw was my face looking back at me,
And I hated it.

But now, it is brighter,
And I can see through the pane, into my heart,
And I still see a face looking back at me,
But I love it.

Love