Please God never let the day come
When I need to seek asylum,
That my home I should have to flee,
That I become a refugee.

For there are many, not just some
Places I would not be welcome.
The number of which seems to grow,
Soon there will be nowhere to go.

Should you make me a refugee
Pray God not in vain let it be.
Let it teach all humanity,
Compassion, mercy, empathy.

There is something so raw and glorious
about being awake before the rest of the world.
When a new day is breaking through over the horizon,
and the birds are just starting to stir.
The air is a mixture of stickiness and solitude.
The dew lines up on the blades of grass,
wanting to be the first touched by the rays of the sun.

my love for you
is the wildest rivers of my poetry
where the night melts into
oblivion and all i can feel is your
love, devouring me, desiring me,
uncovering me, until
i am but blood and bone,
a bluesy wind instrument
serenading the skies.
in your love everything that
i need, every tender star
a bird gliding in
the night, moon-ful,
soulful, wrapped in silvering
dream. climb, climb to the
running hills where i’ll reach you,
leave me burning feverish
and excited, wrap me in your love.

When the thought of a simple call
To the bank,
Or the doctor,
Leaves you in tears.

When working up the courage to call
Your best friend you just texted,
Or the pizza place down the road,
Leaves you with acrobatic elephants in your stomach.

When getting up on time
To go to class,
Or your job interview,
Leaves you nauseous.

When you sit there ten minutes later thinking
Why does this happen every time?
Or why can't I be normal?
Leaves you feeling like a failure.

Just say "hello"
Nope, that'll leave you wanting to *****.
Smile to them
Nope, that'll leave you shaking and sweating.
Give a wave
Nope, that'll leave you on the floor rocking back and forth.

At the end of the day
When all you can think about
Is how you were so terrified you couldn't move,
Or that you just want it to end and go away,
But knowing that it'll just keep happening

When all they can say to you is:
Just do it already.
Why do you have to make things so difficult?
Get over it!
Can't you ever act normal?
As you learn to hate yourself just a bit more
Each and every day.
As you slowly fall back
Into a downward spiral of depression.

than all this trying to find a love to save me
more
we all know
gotta be more to me to be able to be
whole
I do know
to be able to love unconditionally
sure
It's so hard

The crooked mirror which hangs on the black wall fills my eyes with tortured pictures of myself
I stare at it every hour and I see ME!!
I see the views of what is inside and out
The scars, the bruises, the mind and the heart

I have tried many times to look away,
but I am forced to face it head on with my empty blank stare, while my head is strapped against the boards .

But what am I really looking at? You tell me

The eyes, the nose, the mouth, and the ears
I am confused by the gray, pixelated portrait of this image that is staring back at me

There is no emotion or temperance
Only a stale, black and white image of me
Nothing more
For I have accepted this cruel view for which I have been dealt

So now I will close my eyes, close the chapter and sleep forever

I spied you in the library
Laying on the glossy wooden floor
Surrounded by a sea of dusty old books.
Your rough hands gently leafed through the delicate pages
Of her most admired novel.

Worn down edges and dog-eared pages
Betrayed the love she and the little book shared.
Laying there, a tender smile crept up and the sorrow in your eyes disappeared as you discovered the blotchy black stain on the back corner,
Remembering your clumsiness in years past
And her quick temper and dismay
At seeing her little, loved book in such disarray.

Your eager eyes somberly read her little discoveries, her quiet conversations with Wisdom
That she penned down in the margins.
Here, in this moment, she seemed close.
The truth seemed to fade away
And here in this moment
Little Lottie was curled up in the library nook,
Quietly reading her most admired novel.

I wish you could see
How broken you left me
Lying in pieces
Struggling to put myself
Back together
The sky is blue
But not over me
An ominous cloud lurks
Raining torrentially
Washing bits of pieces away
From my pile of ******* nothingness
That my bleeding hands fight
To grasp hold of any
Shard of who I was
So I can slit my wrists
And use my blood as glue
To hold all I am left
Together.
But I can not adhere
Any of them together
So I'll just say **** it
And watch the pieces wash away
In the Torrential downpour
That is my life.

I wonder if I have invited the storm--
     Provoked passion--
Traces of sweat in swelling heat
      glisten
and I taunt dark clouds singing siren songs.
      The curves of my voice
thrill lonely spaces.

Flashes of light crease the sky --
      similar bursts echo
from your eyes.

Reaching around I tremble
as the heavens
      rumble loudly back.

I will meet you there
     inside the tempest.

Let it rain.