The words I saw the other day on the bathroom stall read
"Glorified Prison"

MMMM, Cognitively thinking
to myself.
"This is my life"

In an instant flashback of
bent memories,
I thought about
the year
when
it all happened.
My heart started beating rapidly,
my brain collapsing,
My body drenched in sweat.
I was drowning.
Drowning inside a mental pool
and there was no life ring to save me.

I just stood there,
Mummified to the moment.
My eyes were glazed over as if I had glaucoma trying to stare
through a thick London fog.
Everything was disappearing
in front of me.
I saw it though, in my distant memory,
quickly flashing in front of me, like a shooting star across the sky,
then it was gone.

Gone to a place that I never recognized before.
A place that was out of some sort of bad dream.
That place. That brick house. Pitch black outside.
That kind of bad dream, "the worst kind of nightmare
that you can ever imagine"
and I couldn't wake up from it.
Make it go away!!
Please, Make it go Away!!
I am begging you.
STOP IT!!

His hands suffocating me,
but I could barely feel them
or hardly breathe, none the less.
Breathless in this moment.
I became to numb to my surroundings.
Trapped in my own seclusion
and by my own misdirection.
I was left wondering.

I had no idea what was going on.
Lost inside myself,
with unknown fear,
trapped inside that brick house
of malicious trepidation
and insidious manipulation.
I was being sexually violated
and I didn't know why
nor could I control it.

I was in a poisoned induced
coma of fear.
My mind was twisted
beyond reproach
as he continued his sadistic
and cruel usage of my body.
I was longer a human being,
I was just object for his enjoyment.

Escaping the insanity, I ran!!
Finally free or so I thought.
This mental torture has burdened
me for so long and has taken me down many diluted paths
of mistrust, misguidance
and internal, penalized
grief.
I am became lost unto myself.

I have grown to live inside
this Glorified Prison,
with no release date in site.
The torture that I was subjected to,
will never leave me.
So this prison has become solace.
It has also become my hell.
It is where I put on my shoes
and walk without fear but
it is also where I run away
from things.

Many times I begin to tremble when I think of
that nightmare.
It has become a seeded part of me.
It is who I am.
I am a survivor though.
One day I hope to be released
beyond the walls of this
glorified prison,
so I can finally be free.

In this life, feet catch fire
and
people burn

Remember your dream
when
it is your turn

You will see your ashes
but
you will manage to breathe

If
you sustain the flames
inside
your dreams

Your ashes will float
and
shimmer like gold

You will rise as a
Phoenix
with wings to behold

Through pen and pad I send out love.
I send it out so far.
Cause I love to scribe I do
I shine just like a Star.

My words they shine like diamonds bright.
They shine both night and day.
They are filled with hope and dreams,
for all to sing and play.

Play inside ones great, great dreams.
They're meant to hold so tight.
Knowing all are filled with light,
that shines with love so bright.

Everyone is a true gift.
I say this truth so loud.
Move inside your divine forms,
to stand and walk so proud.

Walk to dance, and move so free.
Its what we’re meant to do.
As I bow, I will write now,
to send this poem to you.

I send it out to all that read,
on site of hello Poetry.
As you move where you may live,
I am grateful to thee.

So I end this poem now to move
inside my day so fine.
I do know inside my heart,
we all are so divine.


StarBG © 2017