I sit here in delusions
surrounded by burnt fuses,
and mindless conclusions.
I am taken back and wondering
through this trauma world.

I can't see through
my black and blue eyes,
I can only feel the blood
and the tears dripping down
my weathered face

Wrapping up the physical
and emotional wounds
that embrace my soul,
they do not heal,
They only keep me safe.

I live inside this trauma world
all by myself, alone.

Limping through these
struggles of life,
I tripped over those moments
I am trying to forget.
I relive those events
over and over again.
So make them go away.

I will continue to sit here
with these delusions,
mindless in my own trauma world
I start to disengage.
But when do I pull the fuse?

-

I don’t think we fear falling
how can we fear falling
we fall all the time
apart
and
into place


-

Even a prey can capture a predator.

Are the things we hate to feel.

I am not who I am on the inside.
Thunder clouds and rain storms
contain me on the outside,
my raging vagus nerve is about to twitch
Do you see me anymore?

I'm sitting in a place
where my anxiety and depression
become balled up in a knot
and my own self-gratification dominates
the world around me.

I am right in front of you,
Can you help me?
My darkened shadow cast nightmares behind me
as if
as if nothing else matters at all.

Where am I to go?
Blinded in this sea of madness,
Sealed deep within
my unconscious mind.
I float helplessly
in an ocean of tragic dreams

I am not who I am on the inside,
sifting through these
empty tired days,
I have grown tired,
mentally strained,
physically drained
because I am the one to blame.

~~~~~~~

starts with a single drop and perfect silence
this menstrual cycle that comes with collateral violence

they will laugh and joke about your chastity
then put a bounty on your virginity

make a story out of your name
then set the hounds on your trails

blood will keep on running, until you can't keep on running
until you become the very demon they've been wanting

frightened by your femininity, yet aroused by its delicacy
they'll put a cross to your face, only to laugh at your disgrace

you can't lead, can never be like Christ
yet you will imitate his suffering day and night

they'll question your faith, try to burn you at the stake
when the irony is

the
more
one
bleeds
the
more
one
prays

~~~~~~~