Months after months
Year after years
Go by
Filled with nothing
But food
Dominated by it's utter existence
Sense of need
Thinking your invincible
Until your being threatened treatment
I'm not weak
I'm strong

I view the greens
of the cemetery field.
Graves full of flowers,
Except for one still.

Seasons had come,
seasons did go.
Summer's eve
and winter's cold

Headstones aligned,
all in a row,
a small single one,
sits all alone

No single flower
or family visits,
away from it all,
It's sad as I see it.

For ten long years,
nobody cared.
My feelings are somber
and mildly snared.

Viewing the marker,
my tears were so many.
The inscription it said,
"I love you, my daughter, Emily"

Deviant sound
penetrates my bone.
Inside the box,
hardened to stone.

Pounding and scraping,
six feet down.
Buried alive,
Silent and sound.

Dirt on the box,
softens my screams,
fight to the death,
don't want to leave.

Counting my time,
seconds don't last.
I am about to die,
My pain is the past.

Bore a hole
inside my brain,
open it up
and watch it drain.

Thoughts and dreams
waste away,
seeing nothing,
can not stay.

Mouth pinned shut
with wires and steel,
No screams of torture,
bloodied and sealed.

Lie naked on the slab,
Y on my chest,
You ripped my heart out,
I died like the rest.

Casting shadows of doubt,
tripping over myself.
Molten to the core,
put on the shelf.

Screws in my head,
pressure builds up,
Forty five degrees,
way to much.

Gauges turn red,
point of no return,
open the valve,
release or get burned.

Blinded by the steam
of terminal fates.
Staring alone
into the gates.

there is never
a right time
there is only now or never
time doesn't exist
but death does
so before they bury you
tell them you love them
show them you love them
laugh until you collapse
speak up, speak out
love more
fight less
smile hard
frown less
be honest, open and forgiving
because you don't have time
you only have death
and it is waiting for you
around every corner

My mind gets trapped
in darkened bands,
hearing deep songs
by the traveling man.

Sad not fear,
plays it slow,
turning it back,
hearing the scold

Reversing the round,
demons release,
off with the head,
take it from me

Subliminally tripped,
it goes back around,
please turn it up,
Hearing no sound.

You ever have those days when you'd rather take the long way home?
With headphones on
Ignoring your heart beat
Trying not to crack like promises and iphone screens...
Well honestly,
You ripped the spine off of my notebook paper skeleton and crumpled it into the shape of your fists until it was nothing but a broken haiku:

What is love without
Lighting matches in the dark
Drenched in gasoline

You wear the whites of your eyes like flags when we touch
Like giving up is an option
And I'm trying to rewind the cassette tape memories to the beginning when smiles decorated our faces and I didn't know your full name or that you love orange juice and comic books
We're just kids in love with following fault lines to their breaking points and drawing assumptions on sidewalks while it rains. Raised on etch a sketch commitments that fade when shaken
We have no connection to the word 'stay'
**** the Christmas lights in your eyes, they don't stay up all year like I had hoped and I wore red lipstick to stop myself from kissing you and you stopped gelling your hair back like permission for me to massage your aching head, knead out any leftover thoughts of 'slow down'
But that was centuries ago and by centuries I mean lifetimes ago and maybe our souls have agreed to meet in some silent studio where you paint me abstract on subservient canvases and you'd feel like Salvador Dali as you melt clocks on my wrist to leave our moments up for interpretation...
We will not touch again, we had our last hug and the bass of our pulse has weakened so the memories don't keep us up at night
They have become elevator music in the back of our minds because we don't want to forget the sound of 'I love you'
Like astronomers falling in love with a blank sky, darling, it's in our nature to chase after the stars that chase after the moon that chases after the sun that chases after the world that chases after this idea of love.
Lets fold our empty spaces into intricate origami haikus like...

We ran out of glue
Stationary paper cranes
We burn down in flames

///

When I can no more
depend on my moon
to shine heart and heaven

Pen and poetry sleeping
beside me, not even a
wee word further coming

Red roses growing grey
with days, my eyes shut
for the last time

When my heart beats
seeming slow with time,
the last leaf falling from the tree

When the final bell rings for me
can I call you?

///
@ Musfiq us shaleheen

I’m in a tunnel,
a carpal tunnel,
a tunnel of pain,
no purple rain,
you thought you looked smart,
in your designer heart ,
that Polystyrene look,
your pretentious Facebook,
but I'll watch you fall,
won’t answer your call,
I'll just hide in my tunnel,
my carpal tunnel.

The beauty I saw in your eyes,  
         Peering into your soul.
It's depths astounded me,
     your poetry amazed me,
Another half to broken pieces made whole.
Yet the pain I saw eluded me,
          it baffled me
   how you could be that sad...
I remember this dream I had,
Where you were in complete despair,
     crying in a corner,
             Tears blood red
I can't remember exactly what you said,
     but it crushed me.
           The next day,
while you were smiling and joking around,
I tried to glimpse deep in your eyes,
          what I found?
Stunned me to tears, after all these years,
          how could I not see?
I think you were about to ask me what was wrong,
            But you realized I discovered what you'd been hiding all along.
I didn't know what to say,
          or how to speak...
Then I saw a grin start to form in the dimple on your cheek.
         You'd fooled me, arrogantly tricked me,
You pulled up your sleeve and grabbed a knife,
              Started slicing away just to torture me,
          Slowly ending my life.

Devil's Dream

3/4 ounces of madness
1/4 ounce of insanity
1/4 ounce of delusion
1/2 ounce of darkness
1/4 ounce of incapacity
1/4 ounce of  violence
6 ounces of nightmares

Combine all ingredients into a shaker,
Shake intensely for 10 minutes until  thoroughly mixed up,  strain into a high ball asylum unbreakable glass, top with gasoline, light on fire and serve.

This should make one hell of a drink.

Thank you for visiting Satan's Pub, please come back any time.