Curled like an ampersand
around a telephone
that never rings in time
with the words that sing in her ears,
She waits again.

Her hands and lips
cold-blooded mercenaries
that ****** what she can’t quite hold
with silence and questions.
with ellipses and time.

So she pushes again
seeking definition.

But finding the horizon has never been so hard.
Her vision so thoroughly blurred.
And the sunsets force her closer to a Something
she can’t quite believe in.

So she pulls what she knows
into herself,
rolls into a familiar shape and waits
for a phone that has always been ringing,
A voice she isn’t ready
to hear.

What to write about?

Should I speak of my love?
It's continued development,
The lessons learned and hurts hastily covered with blue coloured bandaids and a kiss?
A favoured topic to be sure.

Shall I rhyme about lust?
Love's charm without the rust,
Your soft body beneath me a must,
That this need will fade, unjust.
Once departed, lacking love, this passion returns to dust.

What is left?

Hate does not touch me,
Not in this country,
Not in my city of cherry blossoms and sunshine,
Or darkly overcast skies coupled with soft misting rain. (Depression?)
Not today!

Death is a foreign entity.
I am not unsullied,
Yet I do think much more of this ***** than as life's bratty little sister.
Necessary,
Which may one day grow into something beautiful to be admired,
But for now is nothing more than crayons coloured outside of the lines.

I guess I should not write at all.

For what worth is there to put pen to paper,
(Finger to touch screen),
When my muse is silently humming a tune to which only she knows the words?
I can hear the rhythm,
My blood pulses with it's beat,
But I cannot glean the meaning.

Therefore I am done,
For this poem is about nothing.

Wake up to the pounding in your head,
Whiskey and regrets make for a mean hangover.
Three Advil's, a smoothie and 45 minutes throwing weights won't fix the evil inside,
But it will allow for yet one more day,
Of this sad blemish you call life.

Suited up, don't you look nice?
You hide your weakening smile behind your Starbucks tall half sweet nonfat double shot wake the **** up latte.
Strut your stuff,
Male model martini,
Sell another lie,
Buy yourself time,
Swipe another credit card.

Don't look that homeless vagabond in the eye,
Lest you see the need there,
And feel your own, answer in kind.
Rather make a crass remark,
Throw the keys for your overpriced sports utility vehicle to the valet,
And ***** about the mayor cleaning up the streets.
You pay your taxes,
You give to charity,
You've done your part to end world poverty,
These little lines go through your soul as fast as the ******* you've snorted,
But with less effect.

Your empty voice barks all the louder to be heard,
It joins the chorus of the lost as you sidle up to the bar.
You know the keeper, you tip him so that he greets you by name,
All so you can impress the charade around you,
Master of ceremonies for a freak show that not one of you,
The cast,
Can truly see.

Now you wake beside a beautiful stranger.
Rip off her skin and peer within
The ugly you see is the demon you share,
Drown it's harpy song with more devil water,
Pierce your skin and let it ride the needle ***** high beside you,
Into your own special hell.

I put a pen to my
temple and Bang
my head shudders,
out flowed words as
if they were blood...

You are the book I always wanted to read
From cover to cover, deciphering every word
The soft leather cover gilded and bound
You have not been read before, the pages untouched
You were there at a desolate corner
Waiting for me to lay my hands on you
Covered with a dusty veil, away from prying eyes
The moment I saw you, I was transfixed
The faint rays of sunlight falling on you, through stained glass
The slight glint from you gilded cover was attractive
As if giving away your inner beauty, scorned for many years
As I carefully pulled you away from years of oblivion
I dusted the covers to reveal you inner beauty
Yearning to delve deeper into your world
I could smell the freshness, intact, even after years of neglect
I took you home along with me, to set you on a pedestal
As destiny has bestowed me with the book I wanted to read
My life would have been incomplete without the knowledge you have provided
You are the book I always wanted to read


© Amitav (Radiance)

I am completely alone.
Even threw out the cat.  
She'll just hide under the stairs and
Hope the randy male farm cat

Is in the woods. I unplug all
Appliances to **** any buzzing.
The silence is a mass in my ears.
I only hear birds. The swallows I

Love. Doves and crows. Sparrows
And a dusin unknown to me.
This is the "Off" in Time Off.

Feet so high I don't even
Think to drink.
Complete balance.

Like some future samurai
Zen master.
Unfearing of anything.

Scandinavian summer
Paradise.
Norwana.

I was such a beautiful child,
With my shoulder lengths of
Sun bleached barley.

Smiled little pearl soldiers in
Line. Old glassesless ladies
Took me for
Girlchild.

But I grew twisted like an
Appletree around a
Graveyard path
Lightpost.

Teeth came out crooked.
Hair fell out at thirteen.
I was big for my age;
Grew other hair in places
I never knew I would.

My voice broke as if in
Sorrow over the child
Inside that had
Died. After that I spoke as if
Into a bucket.

Sometimes I catch my father
Gazing at me through a slight veil
Of grievance for that same
Child.

I would never dream
To blame him.

For a little while.

Breathe.
Breathe wordless
Air.

The boundaries in the mind
Is impenetrable by the Light
Of consciousness,
Concealing the obdurate ideas
Within the confines of the walls
Held captive, and mired in obscurity
Leaving the mind in desolation*




© Amitav (Radiance)