All I ever wanted left me,
So I took it all.
All my lovers betrayed me,
So I ruined thee.
All I've ever known was subjective,
So I really knew nothing.
All my advice was selfish,
So I grinned right throughly.

I'm a wonderful caricature,
of what it means to be human.
Clowned up, and distorted,
that is the vision of me.
But worry not, fair sweet.
I'll be here as you worry and rot.
And I will feed.

I am all six circles of hell,
I am every demon.
I am the lie in the truth,
That glints so eagerly,
In the soft blue eyes of mine,
That can almost... make you feel mine.
Almost, but just out of a trance,
nay nothing ever was, just a circle,
That has never closed, just a cycle that,
has no history, impotent, yet
all consuming, I can't find the truth,
So I'll live in the lies, and they shall be,
The ties that I bind,
myself and others, delicately,
deliciously enjoying the feast,
I provide, alone, in the dark,
talking to those who live,
far far away in here, so that in my hell,
I can reside as king, and feel in control,
or an owner of something.

Yet still I awake,
stilly, I create,
These little poems on my own,
That you'll read on your own.
And you'll think, something but,
It'll be gone abruptly, as if you almost held a star,
but it twinkled unlucky.

I am lost in my own germination.
I miss the innocence of adolescence,
I miss the days of being a seed.

Nostalgia stemming from maltreatment,
roots of disdain running deeper and deeper
as they absorb the negativity of my surroundings.

The sadistic nature of being
has instilled terror in my heart, a terror of the future—
for I’m not ready for my contempt of existence to flower.

I preferred being a seed.

As I blossom, I grow consumed by feelings of self-doubt,
tears falling, like petals in the springtime,
Will I survive the winter?

I preferred being a seed.

The strong winds of life rip me up by the roots.
I am slowly wilting and withering away as days pass,
unaware of when I will be trampled underfoot.


I remember the days of being a seed.
For remaining a seed would have been easier
than blossoming in a world slowly and aggressively plucking my petals.

I am nearly barren.

I will follow you down the rabbit hole,
To see what can be found, but it wasn't
The fairy tale we were told, it was the
Dark side never seen light under the ground.

The rabbit was late for his execution,
They chopped off his head, it did roll
Across the ground. But the people and
Animals, they did hunger for more, so
A stew was made and his watch was
Sold for gold.

The mad hatter did hide in shadows,
Offering tea to those unsuspecting few,
And once they were in a sleep, he did
Bury them alive under the ground. He
Did a jig, when it was near there last
Breath and did whisper to the earth do
Not worry you are not alone there are
Many flowers buried around.

I walked on shaking you see for I had
Witnessed a serial killer, spiked tea
Handed out.

I meet a queen dressed in red, she smiled
And said do not worry girl your not my
Type, as she showed me around, then a
Room opened jars were neatly displayed
All around. In each I did see a beating
Heart, she said to me these are those that
Betrayed my trust all that is left is there
Beating hearts.

I ran through the court yard I ran across
The bridge, what twisted nightmare had I
Fallen in. I saw a caterpillar smoking a pipe,
What's up little lady fancy a ****, I asked
What it was that had him chilled out so much,
He spoke that he smoked the mushrooms
Scattered about.

I asked what were the bones scattered about,
Some on other mushrooms, others scattered
On the floor around. He said the mushroom
Is good, but to relaxed to care about eating
And things, and with that he blew in my face
As my head hit the floor I was in outer space.

I woke with a fright as my dress was up, and
Breath I could feel as I looked under, nothing
I could see. Then a grin appeared, then a mouth,
Then this knotted looking cat appeared looking
Up my dress trying to lick me out. What are you
Doing I screamed out why fish I could smile as
It licked its lips I was damp and grossed out.

I booted it once and twice in the mouth, this
Is the last ***** you'll lick as my heel crushed
Its skull not smiling now.

I had entered a mad land, not a fairy tale but
A twisted version so true, as I had to find a
Way out, then the white queen did come to
My rescue, to her palace I hid out, sniff this
My dear, don't worry its just to relax you out,
A needle she pulled and injected her self, then
Blood  dripped from her nose and her mouth.

I screamed, she looked up and said I am the
white which, ******* is my power then
her heart gave out. needle in her arm blood
dripping on her gown of white, I ran out but
ran in to a wall and knocked my self out.

I woke again to find my self in my bed, was this
All a dream that world I thought about, then the
Friend I did follow came in to my room, I shouted
Out where were you when I feel In the hole, and
Then a knife did appear though his chest, as the
Mad hatter said you thought you could escape
No one is truly safe when they fall down into
The dark place deep under ground...

In his hand he holds a heart
A heart that was once her own
It has no wings to fly away
To where the PrttyBrd has flown

Since it could not follow
It awaited the return
To dwell in the empty cavern
Of a love that will ever burn

Ne'er to be filled with purpose
As the cavern is sewn in steel
The fire will char the surface
Where there is nothing left to feel

She could not bear the weight
Upon her wings so frail
A heart so full of love
Returned to no avail

For it had beaten just for her
Though she never realized
She had thought she set him free
But epitomized his demise

A brief notion today,
it brought me away.
It took my consciousness from me.
Glazed eyed and amazed,
head-first into the daze;
to a life and a love laced in fantasy.

With a rush like cold air,
through freshly washed hair,
I was swept back through worlds - to the present.
I glanced round in a rush,
and embarrassed - I  blushed.
Awakened, to a view much less pleasant.

Although I know that you
are not as sad as I am
--I hesitate to call it
sadness so simply, it seems
to be more of a perspective
than an emotion--

Although I know that
you are not as eager
to embrace this sadness,
--Though some of it does
live in you, it is what attracted
me to you so fully--

Although I know that
you are striving away
from all of the nonsense
and sadness that has
welled up between us
these past years,
--That beautiful and
maddening sadness--

I hope that there are times,
you are alone,
--Sprawled across
you bed as I remember you--
or perhaps sitting in that
chair with your laptop ahead
of you, the one you used
--Oh, how many eternities
past now!-- to call me when
I was away from you.

I hope that there are times,
regardless of where you are,
that you stop and you think
and you dwell on that
ever-numbing sadness that
I see and you see, piling up
like glaciers of ice upon
your eager heart.

I hope you embrace that
sadness like an old friend,
and can listen to some of
the sad music we once
listened to, eternities past,
and perhaps find a way to
enjoy some of
our maddening sadness
yet again.

Running and howling in pain
His fate was suppressed with stains
Of sins he enslaved. His onus relegated
truth of everything he's denied.
Now pleading for his life
He wants to be human again
"O beautiful moon that bestowed
this curse on me, I've deigned to your
eminence. I'll do anything,
So please set me free!!!"

Blood stains his clothes when the
transformation goes. Fever rises and
he’s left alone at dawn drenched in blood
and his transformation pain. While his
body aches as he left with shivers and shakes.
Bitten in the woods he’s been ****** by
the werewolf’s curse. He feels it
course through his veins in the middle of
the day. No prayer can make this curse go
away. Craving blood like never before he
ties himself up in shackles on his porcelain
bed room floor. Howling to the moon in the
dead of night. He breaks his chains from the
walls and looks at his claws as they cut through
the remaining clothes on his wolf body. Breaking
out free from his bedroom window making his
way down from the tree and off to the woods
where he can run wild and free. Hunting down
his prey and watching the blood drop from the
silver grey fur he finds another wolf like him near
the river stream. He runs over to ask him what
has happened to me. He howls to the moon while
saying you’ve got the gift to be forever free and
you'll never be the same again. You'll remain half
wolf and half human like me.

Flabbergasted and petrified, this was not
what he had in mind. He wants to be human.
He wants to be free. The tears of innocence still
crying and screaming within "O brother of Lycans.
This curse that our gleaming mother has bestowed
upon us. This is a gift even the Lamias are in envy.
Feel the wrath and power O brother. Together, we
shall upraise the Lycan race!!"

His eyes grew bigger his claws grew longer.
He had to leave his old life behind. Family
and friends , college and work. All his dreams
suddenly came crashing down in just one day.
They soon turned to ashes of black and grey.
Time to cope with the life of the wild.
Time to leave beauty and become the beast.
*No more tears of innocence he said. Just blood spilling
and hunting for the ****.