"Wait a second",
But each second after that second
Draws into tomorrows
That spill into yesterday

And now,
It's an hour that feels like a year
In a second past a second
Without you

My fingers feel thick while they are tapping
I feel trapped my mind seems blank as I stare at the screen
I feel immobilized and panicked and want to scream
My heart is racing
I feel like pacing
I feel like a shell of my normal self
I do my best to calm myself
The clock is ticking
I feel the urge to race against the clock
I should take a few deep breaths and slow down my body and mind
Instead I follow the fight and flight response and rush myself
I need to get a grip and find a way to overcome the
                    Test Anxiety

I am
really good at
tearing away
people who love me.

Once again I'll call your name
When my foolish heart quakes with pain
Mocking embrace, I push away, longing, aching for your company
I wither and decay with emptiness
Glass shattered eyes, bleeding so softly
Selfishness, hollow smile, cracks the foundation
Bleeding me dry
You walk through my halls and tear me down
******* some would say, but you feel like home to me
Winter mood illuminates, a foolish display
The last thing i do, regret
Silver tongue, crystal eyes, follow my piper
With my fear and shield of lies, completing my failure
Now my sins show the way to lasting impressions
Fading colors you have shown me
And your arms have led me astray
But you were always like home to me
I've seen through to what's within
Lost and alone you said I was what you were looking for
So why do I feel so empty
It all seemed so real, but I am nothing in your eyes now
Reaching out, you pulling away, never letting me in
I see you live your life, like a fool I stand here waiting
In letters, words, and pictures
You profess your love to me, but alas it's all lies
And the malice I should feel for your deceitfulness
Somehow always escapes me
And in the shading between all the words you said to me
I know I'd be left empty
Because you are home to me...