are you strong-willed?
                     nothing can break me
                     i'm already broken
did i hurt you?
                      no one can hurt me
                      you're going to
did someone hurt you?
                       no one can hurt me.
                       he ripped my heart out and i
                       still haven't found it
are you scared?
                       fearless
                       terrified
how did you wait for me for so long?
                       patience is a virtue, my friend
                       i've been on my knees for years
can you handle it?
                        i'm ready.
                       i'm so scared
your eyes lack life
                        i'm complete
                       please don't look at me
are you happy?
                         i'm at peace
                        never
do you want me to stop?
                          maybe
                         please
why won't you let me in?
                          i'm not a stranger
                         it hurts
                         please it hurts
                         stay away, please go away
                         *please make it stop

In visions of the dark night
  I have dreamed of joy departed—
But a waking dream of life and light
  Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
  To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
  Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream—that holy dream,
  While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam,
  A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
  So trembled from afar—
What could there be more purely bright
  In Truth’s day star?

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream:
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep
While I weep—while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

There will always be
A reserved part of
My heart beating
Quietly in the dark
I protect it with
Love and care because
Its for those whom
Have passed on

Memories unfold
Within my heart,
Mind and soul
And ever single heart
Since gone as touched
And healed my soul

Laughter and life
Are memories
That I recall
Because with out
Their guiding light
I would not be
Who I am today

Ever now and then
I recall lost loved
Ones from the past
So from me to you
To all those gone
I love you and thank you
Straight from my heart

Copyright: Kaila George 2016

This OCD means
I scrape at my scalp with this dusty razor
until only raw skin is left.

This depression means
I call on my mother
to re-open old wounds
and spill blood for me.

This anxiety means
I read her old love poems,
scared of whomever received them.

This dysphoria means
I have frequent nightmares
and wake up clutching my head,
making sure
that my hair is still short

and I dream, sometimes
of using a saw
to hack off my *******-

This dopamine means
I feel all of you
and see all of me
like nobody else.

breathing your CO2 was better than air.

before You i was not living
You gave life to me
from the roof of my head
to the tips of my toes

unused to the sensation of genuine care

everything is vibrant and colorful when We are together
but when We're apart i'm drowning.

suffocating in the oxygen