xenophobia
the politics of stupid
where hate and fear rule

you sent this from jail:

"My goodness these messages just made my morning. Absoloodle. I have been trying to call you but no luck..your'e right though communicating in here is tougher than it seems. Kitsch? Sounds delicious. I dreamt about you last night so this is just crazy right now. I love you so much.. Thank you thank you. I've lost so much and the fact that you out of anyone still cares lights a fire in me, making me stronger, and not letting this system break me down and dehumanize me and institutionalize my yoked up brains. No missy, i've actually been doing hundreds of pushups a day so i'm gonna come out all sculpted and angry haha..maybe a neck tattoo."


I miss the days I believed him.

Written at age 15... it's rusty:


**Last night you were the focus of my dreams.

There were others, swirling in and out, and making demands, and just visiting, but yours was the only face that stood out.

And you were happy, for once.

We sat on my bed just soaking up each other and you weren’t pressuring me into *** or out of your mind upset, there was some sort of resonating contentedness and I felt fuller than I have felt in so long.

Almost like it was back to last fall, and you still wanted me.

Then you got up, picked up a black bag and walked away, without a word or backwards glance. I might have been asleep, or merely preoccupied, or maybe I just sat there and watched you leave, as if I had known this was to be our fate all along. I remember wondering when you were planning on coming back, when deep down I knew.

You weren’t coming back at all.

     I woke up to a plethora of messages from other boys, like always, and I wondered why none of them had made it into my dreams.

And why none of them were from you.