A bright flame danced in my heart
It danced because of love
It spun and moved with grace
And moved from place to place

It filled my soul with warmth
And the strength to carry on
Every time I left to fight
It filled me with soothing light

The fire danced for you
So our souls could one day unite
The fires in our hearts would merge
And the electricity in us would surge

But then the fire in me burned out
From your gust of icy wind
That I was in darkness for so long
And I had no will to be strong

After a while, a new fire was lit
And it's heat burned blue
It was hotter than any fire in the land
Not even I could make a stand

This fire was eternal
This stationary burning blue
It burned for the lust of bloodshed
The flame kept still, never turning red.

Every day and every night it burned
Through my heart and soul
I realized that the fire was still for you
I did not know what I felt or what to do.

It is the eve of the dawn of a new time
Tonight I fill myself
With any alcoholic drink
To curb the curses this year has given

I'm sad again like always
So I'll be drinking to forget
All the memories that hurt
And all the problems I have

I wish you a Happy New Year
And may you find your happiness
While I find mine
In a shot glass

I was reading old texts again
Or at least what little is left.
How I wish we could go back
To the time we talked til morning.

Typing on our phones
Like time didn't exist.
Sending texts
Like it was world's end.

We'd talk of nothing,
But something at the same time
I don't know if I forced you
Or if you truly did want to speak.

The past can bring joy and pain,
And now I'm in both.
I wish we still texted each other
Because I sort of miss you.

Leave him.
The bits that are my heart
Break into more
And now they're dust.

I'm on the verge
Of tears
Because I want to be the one
Who makes you happy.

I pretend I don't love you,
But I really do.
I pretend because I know
That you won't say it back.

Some girls were stars,
But she was the universe
I wanted my hand in hers

Her glow was that of comets
And her heart was the sun
Her light you could never outrun

The Big Bang occurred in my heart
And instead of galaxies there was love
Through the universe my heart was shoved

She was light-years of work
I couldn't stop thinking of her face
But what remains in my hand is space

I watched her everyday

                                  like a movie

                           but I knew


                                                               that there was more depth in the book.

"It’s the things we love most, that destroy us."**
Is the quote that keeps resonating in my head.
I heard it in last night's movie
And it fills me up with dread.

I can say it's true
Since I've experienced it once or twice.
It has frozen my heart solid
What moves through my veins now is ice.

I loved you.
What did I get for it?
Nothing but depression

I wanted you so badly
That I would beg and plead to God
Every Sunday at church

I was like a child,
Asking my mother for the one lollipop
That was on the counter at the grocery

Then I think again
After a long time
"Was it worth it?"

I then remember
That I didn't even like the flavor
It was the worst flavor

It was the worst of all
But I still wanted it
Because I was blind

I cried
Because she never bought it
And I wanted that one

I then imagined
What I would do
If my mother had bought it

With my childlike mind,
I would have been overjoyed
To merely have it in my hand

But with who I am now,
I would've tossed it to the ground
And crushed it with my heel

This is what you have done to me
Feel better?
Me neither.