I have a good relationship with death.
We handle each other well.
And when I get anxiety
It’s she who inspires me
To take a deep breath and let go.

In my final moments as I lay on my death bed
When the eyes were on the verge of closing forever...
And the soul knew it was going to get captured now
Amidst all the memories and regrets running through my mind...
...All I could think about was you
Your serene face kept flashing before my eyes..
...i could never forget those angel like eyes
Your sweet voice kept ringing in my mind..it was so relaxing and motivating
Your fragrance I could now fondly recall..it was somewhat ethereal
Every single moment I spent with you...It was all flashing before my eyes
Your words I could never forget them..
You had said ...try to be the best version of yourself no matter what
I tried my best to follow your advice
I don't know if I ever succeded
...but believe me I tried
You left me too soon
I missed you so much
Everyday without you felt like a punishment
Nothing seemed to make sense anymore
Life for me had lost its meaning
Without you my heart felt like a graveyard...
...it felt like an old abandoned and desolate house
But finally I'll join you now
I've waited for this moment for so long
I've longed for our souls to meet
I've prayed so much for us to be together someday
We couldn't be together in this lifetime
But now finally death will unite us...

my dreams
they are rekindled nightmares
of my most negative bits of life
they move like thick syrup along a cold plate
drawn out slowly with no resolution in sight
bringing me to the edge of madness
and then
I am awakened with a thud
as if I have fallen from the sky

perhaps a mechanism
or some caring soul slapping me into consciousness
to save me from the real dark stuff

I've experienced the other side in many ways
I've been touched
attacked
threatened
I have also heard the gentle voices of distant souls
allowing me a moment of connection  
I am not quite sure how dreams are intertwined
but I am quite sure that they are

I’m nothing coming through.
A ******, a let down.
I’m a plan turned mistake.
I slipped out into a world to be forgotten in it.
Cold, slimy, smelly, and stupid.

I’m the putty they use to fill the gaps of history.
The time between now and when.
A time where something, anything happens.
Walk on me, I’m here to move you on.

It feels as though we’re nearing the end.
Centuries before, fate was branded.
In its burned flesh we made our mark.
It’s come time to slaughter.
But we’ll be the squealers.

I’m coming through into nothing.
A mother abused by her young.
******* dry and sagged from their greed.
Fat, weak, and stupid now from gluttony.
Next winter will bring their snuffing.

So pull me out.
This pink portal.
Into somewhere I belong.
The nowhere we are right now.
The nothing we’re going to be.

all and everything burns around us
a wall of flames consuming the world
a personal hell projected into reality
a final reckoning for our collective sins
none are absolved not even the innocent
an angel’s dream the beginning of the end
overwhelmed wrung out by the quotidian
too tired to fight too tired to care
we lay down and wait our turn to die