Here I stand,
looking at nothing,
feeling empty.

You look at me
and ask me why.

I turn to you
and see you glowing.
You took every part of me.

You're full, I'm empty.
Mission accomplished.

I remember a time far away, where I held the hand of someone long gone.

I remember laughter and jeering words at light-hearted expense.

I remember the warmth of a summer breeze doing nothing to cool me off.

I remember braiding her hair, and braiding his.

And I can't help but to think: would it be any different now, would I be any different, if any of you stuck around?

I don't blame you.

I'll never blame you.

But I'm fearful of losing one more,
The same way I lost the five of you.

Listening to Hawthorne Heights leaves me all choked up.

There's a story here somewhere,
And sooner or later the man I want to marry
Will need to hear it.

Today isn't that day,
But August has always been tough for me,
About nine years ago we said goodbye without words,
Because you never liked goodbyes.
You felt they meant forgetting,
But you ******* idiot,
I'd never forget you, any of you.

Two years ago,
Two weeks from now,
I tried to disappear
Into nothing.
Claiming being burdensome
Wasn't the life for me.

I'm so glad I'm still around. I'm so glad I love who I love and that he loves me.

But I'd be lying to myself if I said there wasn't a part of me that's scared of losing what I have.

Looking at the people going home on the train
Would I ever see their faces again
Can you tell what’s going on in someone’s mind
Will I ever leave these memories behind
What did I think about when my dad died
Everything was a blur
Too many tears cried
Too many tears cried
Everyone wept
Then we swept up the mess
All of our lives are intertwined but you will never see
Nothing can break real family
Trying
Trying
Car crashed
Nearly died
but I’m still here
Nothing in this world is real to fear

Where do you reside now that you are not here?
Do you still see me when I shed a tear?
Are you the wind that blows against my hair?
Will you be the blossom that spreads everywhere?
Well wherever you are and whatever you do
I hope you know I am always thinking of you

As we grew

We grew apart

a perfect picture

abstract art

where we once were intertwined

our lives now were uncombined

How am I expected to not imagine you,
sleeves to the elbows, tensed hand
on a gear stick—
after a hair cut, batting your lashes,
bashful, slanted smile creeping
over your face? How could you?
When my chest contains this balloon
that is constantly inflating
at every gentle wind chime
mention of your name,
elated, I can't keep a calendar.
If I did! I would just be ticking off the days
until you were here again.
I can't begin to wonder what would happen if you'd found another girl,
if someone else realised what a catch you are,
if another heart was swelling every time you walked into a room,
or was silenced just by the sight of you.
Come back to me and hold me like you never meant to go,
I want to feel tiny and yet still invincible.

A war above our heads
but we sit with a cup of coffee
as children play around
with paper boats and jump
in joy in muddy puddles
Who am I, in these
million strands of rain
I ask, from time to time
I do enjoy the blues and greys
I do enjoy the sad ways

-Kaya

My life wasted away in breaths,
I am dying, and decomposing
Underneath this flesh.
Already dead, but not quite yet
Time drags along,
At the pace of Death;
Whose bony feet sink into sands.
Oh, how they trudge- how they drag
Carving lines into this wasteland
From which, sprout hands
That fiercely pull and grab;
Ripping skin, picking scabs.
While I'm trying to plant
Seeds sewn into life's mantle
Where these flowers can grow
For my soul-
Rid me of these weeds
That drain my bones of marrow,
That enter deep and leave me hollow.
These roots my body follows,
Into the void where everything is swallowed;
The hungry, gaping throat
That we boast as fate or ghost
A god to claim the throne,
Death awaits; head adorned
In gold.
One true faith, our only lord.
Unafraid,
Knuckles bruise against his door
He welcomes me, and it's oh so warm.

-SLuR

Everyone thought that she was better
She smiles, so she's fine right?
But little did they know,
She cried rivers late at night.
She felt like she was drowning
From her own mind and skin crawling thoughts
And getting over being hurt,
Was nothing that could be taught.
She has experienced the weight of this cruel world
Upon her brittle little shoulders
And never knew that what she had within,
Could move the heaviest of boulders

Although she was afraid and broken,
She found the strength inside her soul.
She realized she could take care of herself,
And other's actions or opinions were out of her control.

She worked on herself, for herself, by herself
Taking one step at a time
She knew this would not take over night,
And that being a little selfish was not a crime.

Each day she grew stronger,
With every step she would take.
Soon the smile she once wore,
Wasn't all that fake.

k.f.