I like reading alone,
I like drinking tea by myself,
and eating without anyone else.
I like listening to music alone,
I like painting by myself,
and walking without anyone else.

But when I see
A mother and her child,
Two best friends
Or a pair of lovers

I realize that
even though
I like being
alone,
I hate
being
lonely.

I was stumbling through life when I met you.
Unbalanced on the uneven terrain
of God
and school,
and friendships,
and family.
But you caught hold of my flailing hands,
and wrapped your arms around my waist
to steady me, you said.
But now, I'm stumbling through the internet,
looking at pictures of you and them.
And I waver,
As I imagine you with her, and me here alone with my phone.
You said
You were busy,
Which is why there was no reply.
But why can't
You be busy
With me?

You are more than I will ever deserve

I wish you could see yourself through my eyes,
Or maybe it would scare you,
because every time I look at you,
No, every time I think of you,
My heart jumps, and my mind clouds,
Blood rushes to my face,
I can't breath and the world spins,
Like my brain has short circuited,
and I feel like my hair should stand on end,
and sparks should fly from my eyes.
Surely you have noticed the way I look at you,
How I can't draw my eyes away from you.
How suddenly the centre of my universe is you,
I am just a planet to your sun.

And when you look at me,
When you catch my eye, and smile,
I feel like I have been pumped full of helium,
I feel like I could blow away with the lightest breath of air,
Like I would shatter into a million pieces with just a touch.
Oh, and how I crave your touch!
Your hand on my arm, my head on your heart.
Your gravity is irresistible,
All I want is to be near you.

Is it wrong?
The way I feel?
What would you do if I told you?
I do not know, and I cannot take the risk,
For if I were to loose you,
I would become nothing.

I saw myself,
Balanced on a razor thin wall of glass,
barefoot and bleeding,
The white chasm stretching down either side of me,
And in my hands,
Were a pair of scales,
With my life in the balance.
One false step and I would fall into the abyss,
One un-calculated move and the balance would tip,
The precarious nature of my hair-trigger scales,
Holding My Mind, My Health, My Heart,
Requiring the most delicate of proportioning,
Only made it more vulnerable.
And in my wake,
A trail of my blood,
Staining the pure glass.

She sat among the broken glass,
Opened her mouth to hear the rasp,
of smoke filled lungs
and a broken heart.
Pain she knew would never pass.

The world flew by, without a glance.
And in the mirror her reflection danced,
a web of lies,
And sunken eyes,
Glassy in a trance.

He looked up at the broken light,
About his throat a rope wound tight,
Calls for help fall on deaf ears,
Bystanders pass with hidden sneers,
not seeing him struggle in a fight.

Her spine arched as water beat,
On broken skin with burning heat,
Her mind whirled down,
In thoughts she drowned,
Blood pooling at her feet.