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People will spend years of their lives
reassuring you they care about you.
Instead of just spending one moment
showing you and proving it.
Loud mouths and talks
Give me a headache
The mind in a lock
In an open room, blocked

In my seat I squirm
Wish I could wiggle out like a worm
Heart beats go boom
Wish I could teleport out of the room

No app on the phone
Which says
Skip escape delete
Walk out straight
Neither an option
Now it’s too late

Worse still,
The tormentor doesn’t know, of being one
The crazy mind blinks and thinks
Search database, use unwanted words
just like this extra verse

To be cruel is not an option
In my head there’s always enough room
To be physically present and mentally lost
To be at peace and find solace
Never A Loss
 May 2019 chitragupta
Empire
Oddities of flesh
Pale and sickly
Necrotic, peeling off
Craving death so near
But if treated with care,
It will glow like fire
Radiant, vibrant
And it will be so
Impossibly beautiful
Full of vitality
Powerful
But, it must be
Treated with care
A friend mentioned a few days ago that my skin looked really vibrant, and she asked if I had been doing something different. It dawned on me that I had finally been taking care of myself for the first time in a very long time. I had been outside more, relaxing, eating better, taking walks. And I physically looked and felt so much better! Not long before, I had been deeply depressed. (If you don’t believe me, go back and read some of my work from then a few weeks back or so) Please don’t give up hope! There will be days you are glad your heart is beating!
 May 2019 chitragupta
Empire
When you're told your whole life
"You're brilliant!", "You're so smart!",
"You're amazing at math!"
Naturally, you grow to agree
And your mind doesn't argue
Not too much, at least
Until you've walked so far
Down the path of intellect
That you realize
While it's beautiful,
So are many things
And within your soul
That fantastic mind
There are more than numbers
There is an artist screaming
"Don't leave me here!"
"Don't forget me!"
Banging on the gates
For you alone to liberate
People are never just one thing. You are capable of so much, so don't limit yourself to what you know you can do. If you don't try, you will never know how fascinatingly wonderful you are.
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