i will put on my dress and slip on my shoes
and look myself in the eyes.
me to me
saying goodbye.

goodbye to all the hatred.
goodbye to all the anger.
goodbye to all the jealousy.
goodbye to me.

i will lay down on the earth
waiting to be absorbed into the rich soil
and pray and pray and pray

that when i am rebirthed.
i am every bit as beautiful
but new.

you love growth
and so do i.
why can't we grow together?
why are you the only one allowed to flourish?

just like the flowers
i must lose something
to become beautiful again.

now here i am growing.

you thought i was dead didn't you?

Dear muse
How could you
Act like you
Never knew me
Act like we never
Had anything

You can't just block me
Pretend I don't exist or have feelings
Pretend that it all
Meant less than nothing

It hurts
So ******* much
That it could
Get me in trouble

Dear muse
You treated me
So very wrong
Im scared
Someones treating me right

i no longer pray for forgiveness.
i pray for growth.
and for me

that is enough.

i breathed in the smoke
that charred my lungs
in hopes that you had seen

the smoke that caused
my chords to crack
and left my voice so mean

but you who whispers softly
and you who speaks with care
could not seem to understand
why i chose the poison air.

you said i am
d i s g u s t i n g
you said i should get
h e l p

so yes you maybe scorned me.
and yes you maybe saw.
and that was what i asked for.
wasn't it?

when for you i broke the law