I talked about it once
The place where in the distance
Everything looks like
Dots of light
And where our skin would
fold and unfold
like pages from
A book about god
Not bible—
Because in the creases at night
I could see him dangle on the edge
Of your eye lash—
and he’s begging you
not to blink;
and when you go—
overnight
shifting to the other
side of the sea
asking the moon how to get home—
I’ll come to you—
I’ll tell you how these pages
In your skin are only temporary
And that the crashing coast is only a mile away—
So don’t listen him. Leave him out
Let him dangle like he’s done to us
And when you stop trembling,
When your chest closes
When your heart starts beating enough
To make an ocean
When you’re ready
when he’s holding on by a thread—
blink

if i keep the receipts i can pretend
that we’re still going out to lunch together,
that your phantom arm is around me at night,
that you’re still here.

i can pretend that you’re not in new york,
and me, i’m not here.
i hoard the receipts and the tickets and
the programs and the take out menus.

i sleep with your sweatshirt under my body
and i, i remember each breath we took in unison.
i imagine that you’re not away
because we are both universal, anyway.

i never cried at the bus stop,
or the train station.
instead i hoarded the tears until i was so full
of water that i broke.

because we can pretend that this is easy
and worth it, it will be,
but at the end of the night
i’m still clutching papers and cloth

with all of my might.

Mental states deteriorate
My cursed tongue only speaks lies
Nicotine buzz hits
But I still can't seem to give a ****
Menthols make my lungs bleed
But oh how I bleed from everything
And I bleed feelings unlike you
Whom bleeds colors
I'm sorry those who had to witness this but don't linger on long
Take my body to the stars

Get so upset
Text your ex.
Feel so broken
You're drinkin and token.
Hurt so deep
Weep and weep and weep.

This is the life cycle.
The story behind every pair of sad eyes.
I've run out of ideas.
I'm this close to exploding.

For as we lay
Together in tangled arms
To regret the land that's too far
Waiting to grasp any hope
Us finding a way to cope
Love is a difficult thing
Never the less it clings
But you are the blinding light
In my no longer dark night
So run away with me
For our fate will see

I miss you.

These words would be the last breath that I allowed my empty soul to take in.