It felt like growth to me at the time,
Like I had taken a step forward to evolve into a better and more sophisticated man
And maybe I had
I had
What I did not know at the time was that sophistication wasn't the goal, only simplicity can carry you through your days with the easy graceful demeanor we all aspire to maintain


I laid in bed, staring at the textured spots on my ceiling wondering if I would ever be the same,
If I could ever carry myself with the dignity I thought I possessed
Colors sang out carrying a tune to the bass line strummed by the darkness
The sound of my distraught shrieks tasted like ash leaving my mouth
The blankets writhed violently around my neck and torso
I heard a booming voice ringing from the Zenith of the universe
He reaffirmed all my self-doubts, all my worries, all my mortal nightmares
He was adamant that my death and all those who surround me was imminent
He spoke to me of things my feeble human mind could not comprehend
Then he left me in a cold sweat to slumber in agony


I woke the next morning with a scar across my chest
Not an open laceration, but a fully healed scar that looked as if it had taken procedures and months to close

The scar remains and all my insignificant and worthless brain could take away from the booming ambiguous voice became simpler and simpler

No moment but now; no day but today

Your shadow haunts me in my dreams
It holds a knife, I quietly bleed
I'm swallowing your burning pain
Our flowing blood might be the same

My fear is walking through your door
It tears up everything you know
For all our demons fit so well
We hide them good, we go through hell

Our naked hearts, a place to rest
Beneath the surface, weary chest
And four eyes widened by the sound
Of finding shelter never found

Sadly enough
I am just not sad at all
Buy not happy either
Just indifferent it seems
To this world around me
And I’m tired of thinking
About all of theses thoughts
I am screaming for help
But my voice is trailing off
My mind keeps wondering
And my judgment keeps faltering
While I’m just stuck here
Figuring out my emotions

Seeing my glass reflection
Everything goes into retrospect
And the day goes black with haze
As the weight of my thoughts sink
Everything disappears
Goes up ablaze
As brain alteration happens in a blink
While watching it burn with infatuation
It's like I'm stuck here
In this odd imagination

I put my heart near yours
thinking you could be my medicine,
but you were poison,
you made my wounds deeper
you made them sting
and you never intended
to help them heal.
now they bleed so profusely
and you are not here
to be my bandage.
and I can feel it happening, a slow but steady change in rhythm that makes my head feel lighter than it should , and I gasp for the oxygen that I thought you gave my lungs, but it is nowhere to be found
and I suffocate in the pain.

She extinguished the furnace of ashes that others had left smouldering in me for years.