Broadsky

Broadsky Aug 2019

Adding honey to my tea and grabbing a stirrer, I see you out of the corner of my eye, baseball cap on, nose buried deep in a book.

Walking on these downtown streets today I thought to myself “I’m happy, and I’m happy without him”

See, the pain of our love crashing and burning doesn’t matter until I see you.

My stomach drops, my veins seize up, I’m stopped dead in my tracks.

I wish I could’ve said hello, I wish I could’ve asked “reading something interesting?”

But this is our reality, pretending we’re strangers and forcing the nights we spent under the moon out, out, out of our heads.

I don’t think I could look you in the eyes, I think it would immediately tug my heart down to my feet

The idea of us being friends is bittersweet like lemon drops, but no one talks about the bitter aftertaste.

I wish you well, I wish you happiness, and I hope you enjoy your cup of coffee with your read.

Saw you sitting in a coffee shop.

#freeverse #eastcoast #maryland #exboyfriend #coffee #tea #honey

Broadsky Aug 2019

getting a second older

Maybe if I could find pills that give me the same effect you do when you say “baby” I’d be okay.

you got your college acceptance letter today and I’m so proud, but the minute you sent me that photo my chest collapsed.

I just want you to be happy even though most of me knows you’d be happier else where, I grasp all the time I can get with you like it’s special tokens that will give me life.

I told your mother I loved you and she smiled, she told me she thought i was a good person and that I would be fine in the world; I think she knows you’re going to leave me soon.

my skin crawls, my veins shake, and my stomach flips when I think of the inevitable dust storm that comes every year, hiding my happiness in a blanket of opaque grey, leaving me coughing in the bathroom trying to catch my breath as I mutter through my broken sobs “you’re okay”

but I won’t be okay

because there isn’t anything like watching you live, getting a second older.

there isn’t anything like feeling you move your face from side to side so you can get deeper in my neck

there isn’t anything like touching your skin, or tasting your tongue, and I’m afraid I’ll never forget your name.

April 15th, 2015

#2015 #ex #boyfriend #love #relationships #time #past #older #freeverse

Broadsky Aug 2019

you’re going to stain my shirt

A boy with a witty mind and an eye for photography, plays with the collar of my mind, rubbing it between his fingers.
A boy with the willingness to venture into the woods with a stranger, connecting so well he asks to see me later. He awakens a part of me that I haven’t seen in years, where my mind can connect the dots and lend an ear, an opinion, towards topics where no one can win.

June 2019

#freeverse #photography #new #old #politics

Broadsky Jul 2019

Boys

What am I doing?
Chasing after boys with my bleeding heart in hand.
Asking them to show me music, “what’s your favorite band?”
I want to know what moves them, what makes them sway, and bend.
I’m hoping it’ll interest me, and lead me to their bed.
These thoughts that I have, the ones that circle in my head, have now created craters that no longer seem to end.
“One day” I whisper to myself, I won’t have to lend, my heart and thoughts to strangers, I’ll be whole instead.
But until then I promise to tread as lightly as possible, and I’ll repeat what I said; “living this life isn’t easy, but I’ll pay the price if need be.”

#freeverse #boys #lovingmyself

Broadsky Jun 2019

turn signal

I realized for the first time today that you’ll never see me flick my turn signal on from the inside of my car. Your music will never play from my speakers and you’ll never sit shotgun in the car I finally own. You’ll never place your hand on my thigh while I drive.
sometimes I see your ghost looking at me from my passenger seat, we both look at each other knowingly and nod our heads. Knowing what we want is the exact opposite of what we have.
You have her.
I have him.
And they sing to our souls, but we both can’t forget how I’d dance on your feet.

#free #verse #ex #boyfriend #lover #cars #engines #broken #ghosts

Broadsky Mar 2019

Scorpio

I've ****** the venom from your sting, Scorpio, it's left me dizzy and hurting. It's hard to believe after four full rotations around the sun the only thing to have deepened are the lines on your brow rather than your own understanding. I can see your weaknesses Scorpio, I can see I've struck a cord loud enough to make you wave your vindictive hand. I can feel your unforgiveness like a cold desert night, I can feel the hot burning twist of your sharpened knife. I'm among the planets and the stars; Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars-- it's amazing I've come this far. With my hand stretched out I've called your name, but you still look to me with all the blame. I wanted to share the air with you, but I know now life will always be unfair with you. To the earth and back, with no tack on a map, there is no simple answer-- our world is now black. Filled with dread, I lift my head and see your stinger is ready to inbed the worst possible venom known to us men. I'll be just fine, when I cut this line, that always leads me back to you.

Our story is finally finished.

#freeverse #scorpio #zodiac #pain #ex #boyfriend #love

Broadsky Mar 2019

refuse

I'm looking at the drum you bought me, this beautiful Djembe drum. You bought it for me because you saw how I lost myself in the rhythm that night at the field party. I remember the warmth and glow of the fire, music blaring from someone car, the hum of people laughing and talking. I remember the pill you took and the man you got it from, I remember after you peaked you called to one of your friends "have you met my girl? This is my girl" and how I never wanted to be anyone else's again. I remember our tent in the corner, and making love all night, I remember getting up at 6am and walking in the dewy grass letting the sun's rays warm my completely bare skin. I remember riding home with you and your clenched jaw from coming down, I remember everything; and I refuse to forget.

I still remember how you felt in my hands.

#freeverse #mornings #missingyou #djembedrum #music #fields #nature