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Broadsky Mar 2019
I'm looking at the drum you bought me, this beautiful Djembe drum. You bought it for me because you saw how I lost myself in the rhythm that night at the field party. I remember the warmth and glow of the fire, music blaring from someone car, the hum of people laughing and talking. I remember the pill you took and the man you got it from, I remember after you peaked you called to one of your friends "have you met my girl? This is my girl" and how I never wanted to be anyone else's again. I remember our tent in the corner, and making love all night, I remember getting up at 6am and walking in the dewy grass letting the sun's rays warm my completely bare skin. I remember riding home with you and your clenched jaw from coming down, I remember everything; and I refuse to forget.
I still remember how you felt in my hands.
Broadsky Feb 2019
The world always looks different through your windshield, these streets I drive everyday look foreign sitting in your passenger seat. I cannot pretend we move together like we once did; two leaves dancing in the wind. Your lack of self worth deepens the wrinkles on your brow, and sends me spiraling. ***** boots and stale cigarettes, empty cans and bottle caps, sleeping til noon and never really waking up. I loved you like helping my mother bake my 6th birthday cake, I loved you like ignoring my fear of heights and climbing to the top branches of a mighty tree, I loved you like the sunset loves the sky. Yet still, here I am, sitting on the floor in my room reminded of all the times you put me first when you shouldn't have. I wish you loved yourself as much as you love me, I wish you knew the riches that lie in the making of your soul, I wish you could see just how ground shaking and breathtaking you really are.
Alas, my darling, the star in the sky that leads me home, I will love you in another life;
again,
and again
  and again.
I'll always love you.
Broadsky Feb 2019
The cherry of my cigarette keeps me hopeful for summer, I walk outside in the cold looking for something to fill these pages. Anything. This lack of inspiration has me walking through the woods in the dead of winter, this lack of inspiration has me sleeping in his bed. This lack of inspiration has me sitting at the bar asking for a double gin and soda with lime, please.
writer's block
Broadsky Feb 2019
There we were, slowly kissing, hands finding their old familiar places. Your mind is as quick as a whip, and has the sting of one too. Your words slide off your silver tongue and into my fresh water river. I pause and take a break only to be left on the edge of the bed crying into my water cup, with you there, back turned- you're cold. You're cold and prideful, didn't I know this? Didnt I know this before climbing back into bed with you, you sly snake devil with blue eyes. You have left me with a hoarse throat, a battered heart, and a dry empty river bed. One day I will flourish again.
April 5, 2018
Broadsky Feb 2019
"So tell me how you're so confident." You say with a glimmer of seduction in your half shut eyes, your head leaned back- I want you. I want to watch you melt in my hands. I'm slipping on snow on the patio but your glance keeps me steady, I want your hands on me already. You're 10 years older but I've caught your eye, I make you want to say "she'll have another" on your dime. We're standing outside, you'll never see me again therefore I'll sink my teeth in. You move a little closer, I'll hate when this is over. I bite your lip- you breathe deeply and put your hand on my hip. I feel the soft ****** of your 5 o'clock shadow, you're hardly callow. I force myself to pull away- this is casual I say- I turn on my toes, my hair sways, and I toss one last hedonistic gaze to the man responsible for my daze.
I kissed a stranger in a bar, he had light hair and light colored eyes, he was a man and I'll never be the same again.
Broadsky Feb 2019
It's 1:43 a.m. on a Monday, a week ago at this time exactly I was in your arms.
I understand.
A love like no other, destined to end, an elixir we cheered to the moon with seeps down our smoke burned throats; my life forever changed from that night on. A burden most heavy lay upon my chest at night, like a dog to it's bed, it lays there throwing its exhaustion of self-hatred and loneliness in my face. The thought most rejected and welcomed, a bottle rocket in the night sky, you are the feeling of picking the right answer. You are the feeling of drawing the short stick. Your words bouncing around in my head like noisy upstairs neighbors unwilling to settle down, causing this emotional insomnia. So I'll pour a drink to have a dream, but I know ill see you there.
February 8, 2016
Broadsky Feb 2019
My body misses its keeper. My skin misses the grooves of your fingertips. You did exactly what you needed to, your job here is done- on to the next person who needs you, maybe you'll find you need them too, and that scares me half to death. When I'm 50 I'll go through these pages and see how many of them are filled with words of you, and maybe I'll pick up the phone, and dial your number, and maybe then that'll be our time; but till then I'm sleeping in a bed alone, with my love away on another planet in another universe trying to find his own. I crave the day I wake up and don't compare the beauty of a new day to the color of your eyes, or the feeling of running my fingers through the deep August grass to them tangled in your hair. I will try to not associate the sight of crushed beer cans, the smell of burnt firewood, the birds morning songs to all the drunken nights turned mornings when we crawled from our tents and craved coffee with our cigarettes. Pass the cream, wont ya sugar?
January 27, 2016
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