Did I ever tell you I love you?
Must have slipped my mind
once or twice,
or maybe every time I saw you.
But I'm in denial of the possibility
that I deliberately didn't mention it,
being too scared to do so.
Once or twice I thought it would slip out,
slide off my tongue,
or in an otherwise inappropriate manner.
Because that's how these feelings are,
like a frantic bird
trapped inside my ribs.
So I'd like to apologize silently
for reasons you will never know,
and hope that you won't notice
when I'm gone.



-e.r.n.

You told me to write about
what scares me.

At first I thought, well, everything scares me.
That sense of endless possibilities is what caused my writers block
in the first place.

Sorry.

Further down the road, my depressive nihilism kicked in.
Nothing can scare me,
and nothing really matters.
It's the illusion of life
pointing its big, daunting finger
and laughing.

When I finally hit both ends of this,
felt everything and nothing,
it hurt somewhat, yes, but-
I began to write.

Now my words reflect
everything I feel and don't feel,
everything that is and isn't.
Now, I take everything that passes through me
and make it into something else,
something completely new.

In this moment,
I have complete control over my little universe.
There is a world out here,
more vibrant than I ever imagined.

So thanks for that.



-e.r.n.

If only for once
Maybe this time I'll make it

Just maybe I'll be
Be able to not fake it

Maybe let them see
Possibly the truth for once


-e.r.n.