i miss the old me,
i was not a quite person,
i used to be so cheerful,
i used to be smile a lot,
i used to be talk a lot,
i used to be so confident.

but that part of me is disappeared,
i lost myself,
no matter how hard i try to find it,
i just can't,
i need a map to find my own self,
but that map doesn't even exist,
guess i ain't gonna find myself.

the mind has no limits
it slips beyond all your theories
there is no magical hypothesis
that can contain your thesis or antithesis
all of our stories are limitless prisms
engaged to refract the light
but photons do not dance for just one party
they are infinite slivers of eternal consciousness
biologically inclined to dine upon your reason
all our satiated afterthoughts
are but the decadent crumbs leftover
from another lunchtime philosophy session
time to clean the dishes of your mind
and find the china that sparkles
beyond your wildest imagination
insight and clarity, the luminous perspicacity
to really see anything clearly
i adore you but if you choose ignorance
i will have to head for the hills
like a lonely gambler in a movie
forms are poems left in stone
and our setting souls know no remorse
yet still i moan and count the colors of you laughter

To lose a laugh
          when the
          world needed one..

Where a grin
             reminisces,
             but now holds a frown.

But even when
           the eyes look down,
           a word can bring us back around.

Who’s going to save me
When I’m saving everyone else?
Who’s going to save me
When I cry myself to sleep at night?
Who’s going to save me
When I have a blade to my wrist?
Who’s going to save me
When the voices are screaming in my head?
The answer is nobody
While I’m out saving others,
Nobody is helping me.
I’m drowning
In the dark thoughts
Full of despair and darkness.
And with no one to help me,
I might as well succumb
To Death's sweet song.

A sad story
Is drawn upon my wrist
Because
I don't want to exist

My thoughts are toxic
I've given up talking
Because no one listens
and no one is watching

as my mind destroys
what's in my heart
And all this poise
was a lie from the start

I want to die
And yet I'm stuck in my mind
Please let me resign
from this excuse for a life.

if only you could ever know what you've done to me

ink stained my skin from where i wrote hate letters to myself

scars line my skin from where i tried to cut out everything i hated about myself

fat clings on my bones for dear life because i tried to starve it off

pain still flows along with my blood, traveling from my mind to my heart

if only it could leave with all the blood i tried to lose