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 Aug 2018 Coraline Hatter
Stella
I break down when I am finally asked how I feel.
No one has asked in years.
I’ve kept it all
Locked up inside
So no one can see
How I’m truly breaking.
I’ve never felt good enough
To be part of this world,
I self harm in the least obvious ways,
I try not to show anything,
For fear of being weak.
So when I was finally asked how I feel,
I cry for the first time in years,
I let out my anger for life,
My grief for those who have been lost,
My sadness that no one cared,
My happiness that someone finally noticed,
Then when I’m done,
I look up and say “i’m fine”
I say thank you,
And walk away.
I feel refreshed knowing someone cared,
Even if it was common courtesy.
Though I’m still scared,
Scared someone will see
How broken I am on the inside
I hope you liked it, thanks for reading.
The clerk behind the coffee counter,
she stares out the window
onto the sunny street, lost in thought.
Her half smile on that young face
is an art exhibit of a daydream
about a possible future.
An old woman at a nearby table,
she stares out the same window.
Her eyes glossed over,
they indicate she's remembering
the good moments long past.
The coffee shop daydreamers
have much in common.

-Ron Gavalik
Hit it. Patreon.com/rongavalik
 Aug 2018 Coraline Hatter
z
she is not good at poetry, she says
as she writes stories of love
from orion to scorpion
speaking in the language of the stars
as she tries to close the gap the universe has made between them

everlasting, ever so sweet
though unsure if they'll ever reach him
her tales of affection shall last
till the world's last breath
I am false
I hide behind my smile
My eyes
My skin
I hide my scars with
Clothes
Bandages
Makeup
I am false
I hide my true self
A ******
A ******
A nerd
someone broken
Someone scared
Someone lovesick
ready to ****
But I hide all that
Or I will never be cared for
And loved
Thats why I hide
And act falsely
I am false
A lie
A illusion
I write poetry because
I have the need to bring me
To this world
I write poetry because
I have to discover
Who I am
I write poetry because
I want to reconstruct
My body, mind and soul
I write poetry because
I’m trying to find
My way back home
I write poetry because
I know that there is something
Beyond my body that beats
Subtly to come out
Yes I write poetry because
If I did not
I would never know
Who I am
SO I WILL KEEP ON WRITING UNTIL I UNEARTHED WHO I REALLY AM AS A MAN!
She grabbed her faux leather messenger bag,
threw in 3 old band t-shirts, 3 pairs of underwear,
2 bras and a couple pairs of ripped skinny jeans, her Polaroid camera to take photographs of where she goes, a book, a journal to document her thoughts, a sketch pad, a package of Marlboro Red 100's, a lighter,  her iPod and some toiletries.  She didn't say anything, she just out and left. No note, no warning, nothing but her mess of a room.  She smiled at her room, her dream catcher, her poster-strewn walls, all of it.
And she slipped out of her window.  'Goodbye,' She thought to herself and started walking.  But what she didn't know was she had
just left her life and started a brand new one.  She was walking to the edge of oblivion.  She was shooting herself straight off a cliff,
off of the safety under her roof, the safety of her bed, the safety of everything she left behind.  All she had was that bag.  17 items. That was her life. 17 items to keep her safe, 17 items to live on for the rest of her time.  For the 3 years until she was 18.  Until she could show her face in public again until she could be seen.  But until then, she was alone.  She sparked her lighter and lit up a cigarette.  All alone with her bag and a package of cigarettes. She sat down on the curb by the bus stop and began to draw.  And that was that.  She was lost in her mind. Her mind had run farther than she had. Because after all,
we're
               all
                              mad
                           ­                       here..
Have you ever just wanted to run away? No note, no warning of leave, just pack your things and leave your world to create your own. To taste the edge of oblivion.
Your memory is
like an expired polaroid
film - I still keep it

as though it would be
the most precious treasure of
mine, yet I am

aware of the truth:
till I walk this earth I will
never take a look at it.
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