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hope and faith are my most elaborate form of self harm.
the more i hope, the more i die a little inside
because i know in the end of it all
i will only be lead back to my very bestfriend
*disappointment
 May 2015 Beautifuly Broken
Rose
slice, slice, slice.
I'm slicing down my legs.
shine, shine, shine.
I see the metal shining blade.
blood, blood, blood.
Blood's rushing down my legs.
pain, pain, pain.
I just gained some more self hate.
Poetry has become my self harm,
I only write at my lows...
Instead of blood I see words,
Instead of a blade I have a keyboard...

I want to write about...
The wind dancing with the sea...
Or...
The way you smile and it lights up your innocent face...

I don't want poetry to be my self harm,
Because poetry is beautiful...
An art...
Not.
Just.
Blood.
And.
Scars.
Judge away... I'm trying to not care... No matter how much I do ...
self harm takes many forms
from wrist lined in white
to burns on thighs

but i learned
it's much more than that
it's holding everything in
it's those negative thoughts i think
it's when I bite my inner lip
to remind myself that
any day,
i could decide i don't want to live

self harm is
so much more
than those white lines
or burn marks.

-r.y.s
I was never one to put a blade to my skin, so I found other ways instead.
there's nothing romantic about
stinging, shaking legs
and a still silence
surrounding lovers that creates
screams in their heads --
where did i go wrong
i'm such an idiot
there's nothing beautiful
about blood and self-loathing,
insecurities and guilt.
there's no turning around.
there's only moving forward.
and maybe they'll both be different,
but they'll probably stay the same.
and there's nothing --
nothing --
pretty about that.
I'm in
debt feeding
illness and
I'm too
mentally broke

©
When I found you,
You were dancing with shadows,
An elegant tango with the demons inside.
Fluttering fire and sparking like embers,
Danger and beauty wrapped into one.
I tamed you, restrained you,
Let you gleam in the light.
But you weren't built for sunshine,
my creature of the night.
Love couldn't hold you, your heart mine no more.
So you could dance with your devil's behind closed doors.
i see fluffy rabbits, kittens and elephants
shapes that tickle the imagination
a celestial playground for the clouds of the
starry starry night.
i see shattered dreams and broken promises
whispered prayers to reverse death
written in the cold stars of the
**starry starry night.
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