Bb Maria Klara

Bb Maria Klara Aug 2019

Gabriel

10
There were ten adorable dogs at the dog cafe,
the one you took me to on my official last day.
From there we planned on our would have been first adoption.
Little did I know I would only mean to you an option.

9
The size of the pair of ballet flats you bought me,
As I needed a good set to walk to work (and you) daily.
You also made sure that they fit nice on my feet,
and yet here we are now, at circumstances' defeat.

8
Were the short weeks from our beginning to our end,
I was hopeful, as you said there was nothing that could bend
Our dedication but it turns out it was just on my side
As my photos and faces were deleted as you decide.

7
Here was the floor that had started it all.
The elevation from which I had jumped and fall.
From where you also found the next best thing,
and, love, now you'll never know the greatest I could bring.

6
Were the places and locations that meant most,
from my joy at conventions to our intimacy hosts,
I may never walk through them the same way again
But you'll never be there again with an absolute ten.

5
I had five trips without you, but you were carried in my heart
though, admittedly, it wasn't the plan from the start.
But from here on out, my path is surely without you
Yet at times I would wonder if you'd think of me too.

4
Names of good people, who you and I let down
at the beginning and the end, thought of us with a frown.
Finn, Casey, Gayle, Blake... They hoped only the best.
They once rooted for us, darling, but now only detest.

3
Three words that were never simply said as is,
but shared in a language I shared to you with bliss.
Despite this, I'll know I'll probably care forever.
Though many still tell me I should have loved you never.

2
I know now that you breathe with both lungs for another,
and hold tight, with your two arms, some other lover.
I'm certain that with your two eyes you would see,
You've got two hearts as well, yours and the one from me.

1
There was only one us, one you, and only one I.
Looking back at our history, I could happily sigh.
I have only one life, one I'd prefer not to waste.
Now after you, I think I've got much better taste.

Nothing like a good heartbreak to write up an amazing poem, yes? I feel proud of myself for finally finishing this piece. I've had this idea for a month now. When I first drafted it, I couldn't think about it without crying, but now the final edit seems so satisfactory.

#heartbreak #recovery #moving #on #memories #relationships #love #healing

Bb Maria Klara Nov 2015

Paralyzed

I sat there and saw you at the dinner table.
To speak up, I couldn't. To get up, wasn't able.
But now if I tell you, it's not like you would listen...
Right now it is hell, not our usual heaven.

But you won't understand, even if I tried,
Even if my eyes dried from the hours I've cried.
I hoped that you would have been instead so gentle,
But now I feel broken, into pieces unsimple.

But I'll take the heat, from your offense so brash...
'Til burns can't be cooled by my tears and a splash;
And I do not know if you'll ever understand.
To be safe, I'll just do whatever you command.

Just like how I sat there, involuntarily froze.
I'll take my place with you, forget what I know;
Just like how I took it to myself not to cry,
I'd rather live with you than I'd want to die.

I'll take the nights tossing and turning in sheets,
Accepting my losses and suffering defeat.
I'll no longer move the way I used to...
I'll paralyze myself, like that night, for you.

Except this time it won't be fear or surprise,
It will be the product of too much from my eyes.
I'll choose to be with you, just how you like it.
Til death do us part, in the heartaches of it.

It's never too early or late to walk away from a potential life sentence.

#pain

Nov 2015

The Last Wordsmith

I hide my poetry.

I hide my poetry from you,
to hide the things so painfully true,
the things I don't have, the words to say,
so I keep them from you, but maybe one day...
I won't have to.

I'm sorry for hiding my poetry. There's so much I don't have the words to say

Bb Maria Klara Oct 2015

A Poem About Politics

This is an era when men should think more than thrice,
of who should be president, who should be vice.
No candidate seems to be the right kind of nice,
and none seem to speak of any other than lies.

Should someone be righteous, it's them who don't run.
We just wish their rightness does see the sun.
However, some votes are rather triggered by guns
without thinking posterity, of daughters and sons.

It's quite dense to seek the usage of standard,
not all people out there are graduates of Harvard;
but using common sense isn't at all that hard,
and yet it's all nonsense on dire voting cards.

We might all have minds, but not all are used.
Eventually, all voting just ends up confused.
The persuasion of currency is always abused,
the one with most pocket is sadly most choosed.

In the end there is no one who will take the blame,
especially when country's all burrowed in shame.
The dilemma is cyclic, it's always the same.
Come to think of it, it's terribly lame.

It's not just the country, but the world that's gone lazy
of monarchies, parliaments, and democrazy.
At this rate, all futures are too **** hazy,
'specially thanks to human hypocrisy.

Power has been there, some killed for, some ****.
Presently, it's the most useless of thrills.
*Let me say this, heed me if you will,
Triumphs not who is good, but the less of two evils.

Well, this is something I don't write about all the time, but it's that time of the decade again.

#politics

Bb Maria Klara Sep 2015

Untitled

I give you my way past midnight tears,
My likes and loves, my hopes and fears.

I give you my wildest moans and screams,
and most surreal hopeful dreams.

I give you more than my supply
of smiles to share and drops to cry.

I give you all there is to me:
The flaws and not flaws that you see.

I give you my tortured, broken mind,
perhaps 'twas pretty at first find.

I give you my weaknesses and strengths,
and the loves I swear of unending lengths.

I give you my joys as well as my sorrows,
the reasons why I hope of better tomorrows.

I give you and just you more than what I am.
Should I lose my mind I would not give a ****.

I give you the things that might make me perfect,
and also the mean things my devils reflect.

I give you my brightness and darkness as well,
and all I can give you, more than I can tell.

I give you your needs so that you would stay
and simply be with me each and every day.

I give you my body, my soul, my love,
hoping I'm something you won't dispose of.

I give you my life, freedom, and heart;
and all things I can't say in this way of art.

I give you my past, my present, my future.
Everything for you, my dear paramour.

I give you all it will take to convince,
that you are my love, my master, my prince.

I give you what I hope will be enough,
though I fall apart when times get rough.

I give you everything, my sun and stars:
The old and the new of my heart's battle scars.

This was written 8/20/2015. Minor revisions upon posting. I struggled, because I read the stanzas from bottom to top and I could not decide whether which way was better. I'm just going to stick close to how it was written as an emotional wasteland on my bedroom floor.

#love #sadness #tears #happiness #sacrifice #emotions #smiles #gifts #sentiments

Bb Maria Klara Aug 2015

Why I Stalled

You pointed out the obvious,
how I was taking time;
and I was fairly cautious
not to be sublime.

I didn't want to tell you,
that I was just afraid,
that I feared every piece of rue
that made me feel so strayed.

I took every step slowly,
never wanting to part.
For in the end, I lowly
cradle my aching heart.

I would rather conceal our bliss
in awkward daylit hours
than spend a moment so amiss
in a place ever so sour.

I stalled to keep you near me
for happiness, I knew.
I hoped you always did see
and hoped you were happy too.

I stalled because when we are not
together, things do change.
For more time I wish I had fought
but home was out of range.

I stalled because I wanted,
(I'd say so without shame)
to never be so haunted
of the nights with barefaced blame.

I stalled because I didn't
want to argue tonight,
I don't know how to hint it,
but I fear a direct fight.

I stalled because I disliked
how it felt to be away.
Unknowing, fearing, nearing psyched
if I'll see you the next day.

I stalled because I couldn't
bear to let you go;
But I'm just a young woman
and we still have years to go.

I stalled because I didn't
want to feel alone.
Without you, just your imprint;
I feel lost and unknown.

I stalled because I love you.
I have loved you and I still do.
I still love you and I will love you,
and I will remain true.

I do not know what to note about this. Sorry.

#love #feelings #fear #regret #sadness #hopes #emotions #loneliness #disappointments #contradictions

Bb Maria Klara Aug 2015

Writing Wrath

I write of wrath, of rage and anger,
And murderous thoughts towards my betrayers.
I write with vigor and blood-lust,
In violent tempests, if I must.

I write of the madness she incurred,
In piercing fury, my heart concurred,
For solid as a rock it shows,
And red with rage my aura glows.

I write of indifference, my violated
persona can take only so much hatred.
Await me filling my soul with black,
Dark things as though there was ever a lack.

I write of the tolerance I have left,
For a loving patience of me was bereft.
In faces around me, I wish them only death,
My thought: I wish not the same air in our breath.

I write of the fires of my flaming hate,
The lack of gall in the events of late.
I no longer know how to remain humane,
in a state where anger drives one insane.

What is there to note about this... well, for one, I was very very angry at the time of writing. It has been a while since I have written at all, and I suppose this satisfied me for what I felt.

#anger #hate #madness #angry #mad #revenge #rage #fury #wrath #vengeful