Inside, my insides turn inside out,
heart wants to cry, but the mind just shouts.
Picking up on signals I missed,
tied in a knot, I'm no contortionist.

I hear the gunshot go off in my ear,
I feel the bullet pass through my brain.
I taste the blood on my tongue,
I try but I can't reach the reigns.

Out of control,
it's overload,
unbearable,
it's just not me.

Shifting the plates,
out of their place,
this new terrain,
is scaring me.

Outside, the outside world ousts me,
all because she brought out my disease.
I'd burn you down if I could, I would,
I'd pull the trigger, trust me, I'd shoot.

Trust me, I'd shoot,

It takes two to tango my dear,
I ruined you, you ruined me,
it's no big deal.

Crash and burn into my heart,
and of course, that was just the start,
you left a scar.

On fire and flying high,
like a meteor up high,
I'll crash and burn like you did,
into the heart of another.

The paper unfolding,
in front of my face,
words written with grace,
as I reach out to grab them.

The suction of space,
pulling me away,
as the words are erased,
I can't have them.

I can't have you,
and if I do,
I will be the fool,
who ******* himself.

When your eyes of gold,
turned inside out,
I began to doubt,
our existence as one.

Now I float here,
in my own space,
looking for the face,
that brought me here.

The air brushes, cool against my skin,
it hits me like a new day.
Warm pitter patter on my arms,
undercutting scent of soil,
and a heavy pull on my life force,
dragging me out,
pulling me in.

The dim light shimmer on the wrinkled tar,
cracked and patterned,
like the skin of a gecko.
I've been walking for years but it's been a millennium,
and I'm tired of walking but I want the future.

Now I'm at my car,
now I'm at my car.

We're living in the Age of Ignorance,
where the voice is a weapon,
wielded by a troublesome mind.

We're living in the Age of Arrogance,
where my word is wrong,
and your word is right.

We're living in the Age of Unfair,
where the workers all strike,
and the employers are the bad guys.

We're living in the Age of Me,
where there is no We,
there is only I.

What a time to be alive.

If I had a millions wishes,
I'd wish every one away on you.
If I had a time machine,
I'd go back and time and tell you I love you.

There isn't a day that goes by,
where I am not thinking about you.
I spend every day and every night,
wishing that I could see you,
wishing that I could be with you,
once again.

If I could sit with you on the porch,
I surely would, one last time.
If I could share a cigarette with you,
I would if it meant you'd be by my side.

There isn't a day that goes by,
where I'm not thinking about you.
It's hard, these feelings that I fight,
I try my hardest to be strong for you,
I try my hardest, but I long for you,
to be here with me,
once again.

I miss playing cards,
and watching Discovery channel,
I miss the nights we spent alone.
Out on the front porch,
all the smoke and ***** jokes,
how I wish you would come back home.

There isn't a day that goes by,
where I am not thinking about you.
I spend every day and every night,
wishing that I could see you,
wishing that I could be with you,
once again.

The way you smile,
when I walk in the room,
makes my heart go wild,
and it changes my mood.

The way you laugh and giggle,
when I say something dumb,
makes me love how we,
are always having fun.

The way your fingers fit,
right in between mine,
always make me grin,
with the biggest smile.

The way you rest your head,
on my bony chest,
makes me understand,
you're not like the rest.

And the way you look at me,
and smile endlessly.
It makes me realize,
just how I really feel.

I'm not good at expressing my feelings,
considering my heart is still healing,
but I just wanted to tell you,
I love you,
it's true.

Walking so delicately,
down the riverbank.
Touching the water softly,
by the riverbank.

How I wish we still,
had it all.
Not everything is meant to be,
some things must fall.

I remember when we use to,
sit here for hours.
Looking up at the trees,
and how they towered over us.

I thought that maybe,
we weren't the same.
But turns out,
we all play love's game.

I held you and you held me,
it was magic.
But soon we drifted out of reach,
it was tragic.

We were meddling teenagers,
no surprises.
But thing fall down, crumble apart,
when we're left to our own devices.

I wouldn't say I hate you,
and I hope you don't hate me.
Things just didn't work,
and that's how it has to be.

How I wish we still,
had it all.
Not everything it meant to be,
some things must fall.

But next time,
you crumble down,
fall to the ground,
I will be there.

Next time,
you think it's the end,
and you need a friend,
I will be there.

Because although we are no longer one,
and although our time has come and gone,
I still believe in love after all,
and so I will be there.

I've been here,
once or twice,
too many times.

It's a sound I've heard before,
but I'm not exactly sure.

Maybe I haven't been.

I'm standing on my head,
at the bottom of a swimming pool.
It's really not that hard but I pretend I can't do it.
Then I start choking on the water,
I've been under too long,
I've been sleeping,
and you should never sleep underwater.

Golden and orange,
they crunch beneath my feet.
With fall comes leaves,
my head full of empty dreams.

I know no bounds,
my mind stretches to infinity and back,
yet my dreams seem so dead,
untouchable at best.

My future seems bleak,
full of broken commitments and shattered dreams,
but right now,
I don't mind.

I'll carry on,
I'll move along,
because I know one dream has come true,
and that is to wake up alive.

Splinters of hate,
exploding from your lips,
impaling skin.

Blood tastes sweet,
so sweet.

Isolate me,
in my box,
and stuff my mouth,
with many socks,
so no one can hear my screams.

Bound my hands behind my back,
and make the box made of glass,
so I don't feel alone,
as I battle fear.

I watch the people walk by.
I wonder why that can't be me.
I'm trapped inside here,
I can't be free.

I'm not one to fear what I can't see,
but I won't lie,
I fear, fear.

I'm trapped in here.

I watch the people go by.
I wonder why that can't be me.
Someone smash the glass,
someone free me.
But no one can see me.

I'm not one to fear what I can't see,
but I won't lie,
death scares me.

I'm not one to fear what I can't see,
but I won't lie,
your love saved me.

I'm trapped in here.
Will you save me?

The power of your love,
it scares me.

I always thought you were beautiful,
in my eyes, nothing less than perfection.
The way you spoke to me, so softly,
your voice like an angels, so heavenly.

I was far from the perfect man,
I tried my best to be what you wanted.
There's no doubt, I made mistakes,
always the wrong time, wrong place.

Don't make me plea and beg,
don't push my buttons,
get in my head.

I just want you to understand,
I'll always love you,
show it every chance I get.

You never liked me,
hated everything about me.

Left me to die,
but I'm still alive.

Tie me up and poke some holes,
in my heart and in my soul.
Watch me drain, I feel cold,
I'll deflate and you'll move on.

Simple things fall through the cracks,
she loves his love and all it lacks.
Inside the collapsed heart, I lay,
drowning in the blood that remains.

I won't move, no I won't fight,
I'll wander on into the night.
Because every single word I say,
floats into irrelevance anyway.

Cut off your tongue,
take those secrets to the grave.
The ideas in your head,
were not made for these days.

It's terrifying,
the silence over this house.
It's almost as loud,
as the scurrying mouse.

Don't feel lost,
but feel distraught.
I love you now,
I love you not.

It's simple,
human behavior.
Just know I'm not,
a silk wearing savior.

I'll let you in,
and I'll kick you out.
I'll take your breath,
so you cannot shout.

I'll abuse you,
till you're heart is blue.
And there is nothing,
that you can do.

And I'll move on,
to the next in line.
Oh, I'll move on,
in no time.

But as for you,
I'll keep you mine.
And abuse your heart,
like it's a crime.

All darkness surrounds her
Yet she illuminates
Her pale skin radiates
Like the pedals of a sunflower
Bleeding golden yellow under the pounding sun
She reaches for it, unwavering

I encroach on her radiance,
A black hand reaching out
Looking for someone to hold
But she welcomes me in
Warm and tender
A home for darkness in the light

I take a piece of her each day
Harvesting her happiness and joy
I wound her and try to put her pedals back on
She rages like a wildfire
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Yet her love remains
Wild and untamed
Bursting through her chest like a herd of stallions
I cling to her side
Begging for forgiveness
But she’s already moved on
She’s again reaching for the sun

There one was a day,
I didn't feel pain.
There once was a day,
I enjoyed the rain.

There once was a day,
I used to feel.
There once was a day,
you used to steal my heart.

And I don't feel anymore,
and I don't feel anymore,
I don't feel anymore...

There once was a day,
I would run for fun.
There once was a day,
I enjoyed the sun.

The once was a day,
I used to believe.
There once was a day,
you used to complete me.

And I don't feel anymore,
and I don't feel...
And I don't feel anymore,
I no longer believe.

And I don't feel anymore,
and I don't feel...
And I don't feel anymore,
I no longer believe.

I no longer believe.
I no longer believe,
in you.

It's like pulling teeth,
every time we make eye contact,
it hurts to even glare.

I've been ripping out my eyelashes,
hoping maybe someday,
you might not stare.

It's a desperate case of misinterpretation,
and one of us is going to lose our mind.
It's a hopeless battle as we both unravel,
both of us so fragile as we unwind.

I hear your name sometimes,
and a fire ignites behind my eyes,
fueled by misguided lies.

My quiet is quite unruly,
I feel you stare right through me.
I want to walk by you dear,
but you seem so far from here.

You slip right through the crowd,
the music blaring loud.
You take me by the hand,
and show me how to dance.
I'm a fool on my feet.
So this is how,
we finally meet.

Don't let me go,
I have to know,
what exactly did I do wrong?

Before you leave,
hear my final plea,
I love you more than anything in this town,
or all around.

The night was wild,
we were on fire,
nothing could make me,
feel much higher.
How can anyone act so cool,
around me,
I'm such a fool.

We make our way home,
through the wind and cold.
The sound of sirens in streets,
drowns out our dragging feet.
I hope you are my love,
before we end,
and this night is done.

I'm lost, alone,
without a home.
Your eyes fade in and out of the skies.

My hands are cold,
without yours here.
I never want to live alone,
or in fear.

When I was a child,
I never ventured past the garden walls.
Blanketed by vines and moss,
they stood oh so very tall.

I didn't dare to imagine,
what was beyond them.
Mother said there were monsters,
and other scary men.

So I played behind,
the garden walls.
And so I was confined,
by the garden walls.

It wasn't till one day,
I was playing in the mud outside.
I kicked my ball over the wall,
and onto the other side.

I stood there for a while,
thinking to myself.
All I had was that ball,
and nothing else.

I was behind,
the garden walls.
But I wasn't confined,
by the garden walls.

So I disobeyed my mother,
and climbed to the other side,
and I was greeted by, to my surprise...

Going for a walk,
up a tree,
maybe down a hill or two.

To myself, I talk,
about dreams,
and a life built for two.

Just another thought,
it seems,
as I think of me and you.

All the things I'm not,
make me,
not good enough for you.

I'm going for a walk.

Seeping through the pores in their suffocated skin,
it whirls and it whimpers in the whipping wind.
It flows through the veins of the teens,
it echoes in their unbound screams,
the angst that they feel is nothing to go unseen.

They wield a weapon more powerful than their fist,
but they still can't stop the urge of cutting their wrists.
Their minds are as strong as their bones,
which hold up their hearts broken home,
they are stronger than all the stick and stones.

I don't believe in a lot of things,
but I believe in this generation.
We're teens with open hearts,
and open minds.

You stare and watch me bleed,
the blood blankets my face.
I'm on my hands and knees,
is this what you wanted?

You laugh and cheer and chant,
like cultists around a sacrifice.
I can see what you can't,
even through the blood in my eyes.

I am here and I'm alive,
I am going to survive.

And what you don't know,
is that I will grow,
and be better than before.

I feel cut off at the knees,
trained to eat out of your hand.
What I would give to be free,
an arm and a leg would be fine.

I feel like a broken record,
or maybe the average televangelist.
My words repeat over and over,
but no one cares to listen.

I am here and I'm alive,
I am going to survive.

And what you don't know,
is that I will grow,
and be better than before.

Cold, so cold,
barren and hollow,
no longer home,
a truth that's hard to swallow.
Home once alive,
everything has died.

No smell, no noise,
nothing but an empty space.
No pictures on the walls,
not a single smiling face.
Home once alive,
everything has died.

Still there hangs a gentle air,
warm enough to make your hair stand.

Home that was once alive,
not everything has to die.
Not her.

I've seen heartbreak,
I've made mistakes.
I've seen bloodshed,
I've had girls **** with my head!

I've had glazed eyes,
I've watched the skies.
I've been beat down,
I've been stuck in this here town,
forever.

For what feels like forever.

And you know what I say to all this,
it's been a good life, good life.
Slapped me on the face, a gentle kiss,
and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I've been held high,
but never glorified.
I've been treated,
like a piece of meat, yeah!

I've been shot down,
I've been around.
I've kissed feet,
and I'll never repeat this!

And you know what I say to all this,
it's been a good life, good life.
Slapped me on the face, a gentle kiss,
and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

It's been a good life, good life.

Supernova explosion in her eyes,
and she's on fire.
Never have a witnessed such behavior,
she's a force of nature.
Behind her, she leaves a path of beautiful destruction,
blazing a trail for those to follow.

She's a mystery you can't solve,
a face you can't forget.
And if you wrong her, you're absolved,
she knows how to forgive.

Sweet as a drop of honey,
her words can heal.
If you need her to hold a secret,
her lips are sealed.

She's a fiery heart and a gorgeous mind,
contained by one breathtaking soul.
I can tell you now that no love of mine,
has ever made me feel so whole.

Sitting at home,
I can't write.
The TV is too loud,
and Jerry Springer's not my thing.
I try to think, what exactly is my purpose,
but I always draw a blank.
Maybe I'm here to run a circus,
I only said that because it rhymes.

I just can't see life,
in my old brown eyes.
I can't seem to fight,
these feelings inside.

I go bowling on Tuesdays.
I stand there in silence,
take my turn when it comes.
I look around but no one understands me,
they just know me as Barry.
I wonder if they even care for me,
or if I'm just some lonely fool.

I just can't see life,
in my old brown eyes.
I can't seem to fight,
these feelings inside.

Dropped out of school and lost my mind.
My teacher said I'm lazy,
or maybe I just don't like school.
The thought of growing older bothers me,
it makes me uneasy.
I really don't mind getting grey hairs,
I just don't like dying.

I'm a nothing,
a no one,
a loser,
a fool.

I sit silent,
I lose myself,
I am a fool.

And I just can't see life,
in my old brown eyes.
I can't seem to fight,
these feelings inside.

Cold, so cold,
barren and hollow,
no longer home,
a truth that's hard to swallow.
Home once alive,
everything has died.

No smell, no noise,
nothing but an empty space.
No pictures on the walls,
not a single smiling face.
Home once alive,
everything has died.

Still there hangs a gentle air,
warm enough to make your hair stand.

Home that was once alive,
not everything has to die.
Not her.

I feel the glow of the sun,
slowly absorbing into my skin,
while the light within my chest,
is growing rather dim.

Millions of miles away sits a heart,
that I can only dream is mine.
Its everlasting glow and warmth,
are what I miss inside.

My heart is clunky, missing pieces,
and coated with a layer of rust.
It's chugging on like a locomotive,
omitting only bad love.

Someday I'll find what I'm looking for,
and replace this pile of scraps,
with the everlasting, shining sun,
that I envied so much in the past.

Breathe in,
hold-

I've been here...

Strength wavering,
push out...

hold-

Don't let it in,
don't let it through...

Breathe in,
out,
in,
hold-

Decrepit fingers pry,
into the absence of my mind.

Boney, lanky and cold,
with an after burn to melt your soul.

Breathe in,
hold-

let go...

People write about the city lights,
how they glimmer and shine so bright,
but all I see is a man made mess,
infrastructure, nothing more, nothing less.

Unkempt properties and sewage scented streets,
under dim lit lights and fluorescent flickering signs.
I'm driving through vast fields and flourishing forests,
that were torn up and toppled when man arrived.

I've been through 22 years of hell,
under the guise it's a life lived well.

I've seen hatred, I've seen pain,
I've seen how love is just the same.

I've seen a man begging for work,
have his name dragged through the mud and the dirt.

I've seen another asking for his rights,
only to be lied to and denied.

I saw a man tell us about the end of the world,
so he could put us through an eight year war.
And the next man promised hope and change,
but it didn't apply to everyone the same.

Who's to say what's wrong and what's right?
What's the difference between the truth and a lie?
When did it all fall apart in our hands?
Where did the lines wash away in the sand?
And why do we keep making the same mistakes?

I've seen a man walk into a school,
I've seen a man walk into a church,
I've seen them walk out with the same look on their face,
man, that wicked look is the worst.

I've seen violence against a man,
I've seen it against a woman too,
sometimes because no one is listening,
or because they have different views.

Oh lord,
please help the world.
Oh lord,
please help the world.

I don't care what religion you come from,
I don't care if it's mine or it's yours,
I'm just looking for some help down here,
please come and help us, oh lord.

Oh lord,
oh lord.
Oh lord,
oh lord.

I already know what's going to happen.
I had a dream,
and everything matches up.

I've seen this happen before.
I've loved before,
and I've lost.

I'm not afraid,
but I'm kind of scared.
Too lose your touch,
is something I can't bare.

I'm shivering,
lips quivering,
as I imagine,
life without you love.
I'm not strong enough.

And I fall,
down, I fall.
As the floor gives way,
beneath my feet,
I fight to hold on,
but I'm too weak,
and I fall.
I fall.

I should be use to losing hope,
but I keep fighting,
and I don't know why.

Clawing my way back to the top,
only to fall,
down.

I'm weak when I'm strong,
I can barely crawl.
I lose sight of light,
and I quietly fall.
Into the darkness.

And I fall,
down, I fall.
As the floor gives way,
beneath my feet,
I fight to hold on,
but I'm too weak,
and I fall.
I fall.

I fall,
into the darkness,
into the abyss,
into nothing.

What crime did I commit,
to deserve this?
The pieces don't fit,
might as well just quit.

But something keeps me driving,
keeps me moving forward.
Something keep me smiling,
keeps me moving homeward.

I feel it coursing through my veins,
my heart beating faster,
it's driving me insane.
My mind is on fire,
I'm on a crash course,
with you, someday we'll meet again.

My hope,
my dream,
my one desire,
is that I'll see your face again.

But love is my enemy.

It's 11pm and I'm hungry and tired,
moved so many boxes, my arms are on fire.
From one cage to another, just downgrade the size,
so I'm more confined.

It's easy to sit here and complain a lot,
but I'm not complaining, 'cause this is all I got.
I'm just another runaway that ended up caught,
in the things I'm not.

So call me a failure and call me a dud,
I take pride in everything I've done.
I don't live to your standards because they're no fun,
I live to feel the sun.

And while my arms are sore and my head really hurts,
I have to remember that things could be worse.
I'm just a someone living a someone life,
isn't it nice?

Cold,
my bones rattle and ache.
Is there some other place?
If so,
will you take me there?

I can't fight this anymore,
metaphysically lost,
in a cyclone of dying thoughts and blank realizations.

I need more,
but I don't want it.
I want to be left alone,
I want to be saved.

I know there is a paradise out there,
but where?
Is it here?
Or is it there?
Is it real?
Or is it fair to say it doesn't exist?

I want to be removed,
there is no place for me here.
There is no place for my soul,
dead or alive,
shattered or whole.

Take me with you,
beyond the limits,
where we'll explode into oblivion,
and find the paradise,
the paradise we both so desperately want.

I can't seem to find myself,
writing was all too easy now I'm stumped.
My mind is blank as my face,
every time I pick up a pencil, there isn't any lead.
I freeze up before I type and next thing I know I've downed three drinks,
but my fingers haven't moved,
I'm in chains.
I can't find the key,
I don't even know what it looks like,
and I'm sifting through drifting thoughts like a madman.
I'm staring at object in my room like they're supposed to come to life,
and tell me what I'm supposed to write,
then my back hurts from bending over the keyboard and holding my hands above it.
So I lean back and close the screen.

There is a home,
and it's waiting for me.
It travels in the sky,
over the neon cities.

I've been searching,
years have come and gone.
It eludes me still,
and I can't help but feel wronged.

I look up at the stars,
on the clearest of nights.
I chase the sun,
from the second it rises,
but still I can't find it,
my home in the sky.

Maybe I'll question,
if I'm even alive.
You're the one who told me,
I'd never survive.

From time to time,
I find myself running with the clouds.
I have little faith,
not enough to toss around.

I stare at the moon,
watch it reflect down unto me.
Is there any hope left,
for a man so petty?
I'm more than ready,
for my home in the sky.

Take me now or take me never,
my home in the sky,
I won't wait forever.

Take me now before I take it all,
and throw it away,
I'll throw it away.

Time moves so incredibly fast,
hours tick by, days quickly pass,
weeks turn to months,
months turn to years,
years into a lifetime,
a lifetime in seconds.

Suicide in the shadows,
waiting for a poor man,
creeping over his shoulder,
a dark new day.

Wrapped around his neck,
words can't escape his dry throat,
holding him down,
more bills and car loans.

Under a microscope in the sun,
burning himself.
Holding the lighter to his palm,
burning himself.

It's something warm he says,
when the days are cold and the nights long.
The phone rings in the corner,
playing that bittersweet and intimidating song.

So he dances in the morning sun,
as it creeps through his blinds,
his legs shake and scramble.

Sitting behind who I used to be,
watching him juggle and fight gravity,
such a young rebel, a child at heart,
a child in his mind.

Big ideas and big hopes for all the world,
big love for everyone and that special girl,
all so small now that I realized,
how big everything else is.

I fought with myself and I fought with the law,
with my mother, my father, and everyone I saw,
brash and boisterous as I cocked my head back,
a savior of no one at all.

Years come and go with the blustering breeze,
people you loved let go with ease,
and you find yourself looking back one day,
at the back of your pasts head.

I scaled a mountain,
left much of myself along the way
in thickets and high water.
To reach the higher truth
and to see the path ahead,
and all its bountiful treasures,
I reached for the top.

When I finished my ascent
I found a Muse.
She called my name,
to which I answered,
                    "I have a long road ahead".
The Muse replied,
                    "What if the road ends here,
                                              and led you to me".

I laughed and looked to the horizon,

the rolling fields,

which were grey and bare.

"Poor soul,
spit upon that,
poor soul,
he never knew what hit him,
and it hit him so."
They laughed and jabbed,
his plight entertaining,

He's just,
another *******,
he's just,
a *******,
he deserves this,
what a useless boy.

Just about as useful as a coat of paint,
applied in the rain.
Or maybe an umbrella on a sunny day.

What a useless soul,
arms outstretched and begging,
it takes a fool to see one,
but they don't see it that way.

Poor soul,
resting in the mud,
poor soul.

Pills go down the drain,
years in recovery,
only to find myself here again.

Someone told me once,
it only gets better,
well that was many years ago.

And in the morning light,
when I find truths,
they're only clouded by doubts.

And in the starry nights,
when I find peace,
darkness overcomes the love.

Colored cases over the years,
blank memories,
I can't feel my face,
I can't feel my heart.

Search and see the sun,
go out and feel the rain,
just realize,
the pain will go away.

Go and smell the flowers,
breathe in the air,
move without a care.

Electric love is coming for you,
spark the heart and make it move.
Make it pump and make it jump,
love is more than me and you.

There's no need to talk,
there's no need to waste,
the precious time we have,
we're near our end, I can taste it.

Take your mask off,
and I'll take mine off too.
We both have nothing to lose.

Let the vines entangle and trap,
your heart in their tight grasp.
Don't uproot what we can't lose,
you'll find it hard to get back.

I'm a sinner,
I'm a survivor.
I'm a sinner,
I'll survive her.
I'm a sinner,
I'll revive her.
I'm a sinner,
I'm a survivor.

There's a sour taste in the air,
our room's been ransacked,
everything is gone.
You smile but say nothing,
you look me in the eyes,
something is wrong.

I can feel the house crumbling,
the pressure is too much,
nothing to say.
Your mouth moves, spitting venom,
but nothing comes out,
there's too much pain.

I can see you standing there,
you make no movement,
like a brick wall.
You look right through me,
like a sheet of glass,
I'm nothing at all.

Then you walk out the door,
walk right through me,
I'm nothing.
You don't look back,
don't turn back,
I'm nothing.