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ashw Nov 2015
I find myself on uncertain ground,
Straddling an impossible horizon.
On one side is day, where my consciousness thrives
On the other is night, where fatigue claims its prize.

For years, it seems, I have longed for sleep,
For a reprieve from wakefulness, and the sun’s piercing light,
But now, as I stand astride this unlikely fission,
I fear what awaits within night’s unyielding prison.

The darkness has beckoned, calling me forth
Even now, its sweet siren reigns down on my soul,
Oh, how easy, to just close my eyes and let my thoughts be consumed,
The promise of nothingness nearly impossible to refuse.

But my silhouette on the ground reminds me of light,
And I owe it to myself, past and future alike
To reconsider day and all it provides,
Before I make a choice, here, where two opposites collide.

I can remember hope, and the anticipation of greatness,
But also despair and nights spent alone.
Laughter and desire, pitted against resentment,
An ever-tipping balance between dissatisfaction and contentment.

No, it’s just not enough for me to fully commit,
I’d much prefer blackness and its long-awaited calm,
Yes...I will forget about day and its promise of grief,
Instead, I’ll take night and its selfless offer of relief.

Just one step forward and I'll be forever engulfed in silence,
But first I’ll rest here for just one second longer-
I need to say goodbye to day and pay respects to light,
Then I'll go forth, and forget this place where day leads unto night.
ashw Apr 2015
I’ve been alone for countless years,
A speck of dust my only friend.
Deep inside, no hopes, nor fears,
Just myself these many years.

I have no past to reminisce,
Therein no future to predict,
There’s no one lost for me to miss,
No one with whom to reminisce.

There is no way to pass the time,
As I lie in wait of endless night.
There is no love, or hate, or crime,
The more I think, even no time.

Eternity chose to envelop me,
And forever is all there is to see,
An inescapable void, no calm, nor breeze,
For it abandoned all else in favor of me.
ashw Aug 2014
A thousand different images
Flicker through my mind,
But the one I seek most desperately
Has found some place to hide.

I know I had it with me,
It’s always been right here,
I only had to think your name
For your image to appear.

It’s tried to slip away before
And I’ve grasped with all my might,
But as the months changed into years,
I lost the strength to fight.

I've known that this was coming,
But somehow am unprepared,
The signs have been so subtle,
Yet I knew that they were there.

It started with your piercing eyes,
How the blue would fade each day,
And your features became less definite
As you slowly slipped away.

But still I thought I had more time,
If only with your likeness,
I never thought I’d wake today
To such devastating blindness.

I’ve tried and tried to call you back,
But there’s nothing I can do,
Your image has left me stranded;
I no longer remember you.
ashw Mar 2014
I glimpse through the curtains
A flickering light,
And my imagination takes hold
On this stagnant spring night.

I fancy it a signal,
A call to something great;
It’s the start of an adventure,
The beckoning of fate.

When I investigate its source,
I know my life will change,
I’m in the beginning of a book
And my quest’s on the next page.

I’ll join up with a band of outcasts
To find a missing link,
There’ll be riddles for us to solve,
And an antagonist to outthink.

We’ll encounter many obstacles
As we fight to reach our goal,
Like a turncoat within our ranks,
Or an unexpected troll.

We’ll make camp along the roads we walk,
And dine on cheese and bread,
And our enemies will dog our steps,
But we’ll remain one pace ahead.

At some point along the way
I’ll discover a hidden skill,
It’ll be something supernatural,
Like the power of my will.

I’ll use it in the ******
For the ultimate defeat,
To overcome the opposition
And force them to retreat.

And we’ll celebrate our victory
Of evil overcome,
But our optimism will soon die down
As we realize what’s to come,

Our journey has reached its end
And we’ll be ****** aside by fate,
The world no longer needs us,
Now that we’ve accomplished something great.

The only thing that’s left to do
Is go back to where we’re from,
Back to unfamiliar lives
As the people we’ve become.

But when I finally get back home,
I’ll have nothing to regret,
I did what I was meant to do,
And no one will soon forget.

I made the difference only I could make,
And all is for the better,
I answered the call of destiny
And am no longer called its debtor.

I wish this were the case
In the reality that I’m in,
But another flash of light
Reminds me where I am.

Sitting in my bedroom,
As much in debt as ever,
Imagining that I was part
Of some life-changing endeavor.

I wish that fate would show its face,
And tell me what to do,
Even just a hint
Would be enough to get me through.

As I think back on my story
I see the light again,
And I wonder, if I go outside
Will my adventure at last begin?

Maybe this is it
And destiny chose tonight.
Maybe fate is waiting
For me to investigate the light.
ashw Oct 2013
Yesterday I took a walk,
And passed between the changing trees,
Their leaves were clinging
With final breaths of life,
Some had fallen, given up,
Waiting to be dust on the forest floor.
But I paid no mind to nature’s course;
My thoughts were focused on useless things.
I walked right past a breathless sight:
A family of deer
Sipping from a flowing stream.
But next week’s pay and due dates flashed,
And I passed right by their frightened dash.
Then, far to my right, two bunnies played,
But I missed that too,
And trampled blindly on.
High above me, in the thinning trees,
A white-furred squirrel hoped from branch to branch,
He jumped right above me for half a mile,
But I never looked up,
Was never caused to smile.
These I missed,
But there were others as well:
A high-flying eagle, a swift-moving fox,
But my mind was circling all those useless things,
Things that worrying never quite solves.
And as I think back on yesterday
To my long, stewing walk,
I regret not stopping
And looking around,
At the beauty of nature
And the joy to be found.
And, in reality,
All those things never happened:
The jumping squirrel,
The playing rabbits,
Or the drinking deer,
And I won’t go back today,
In case they aren’t there,
But I’ll imagine they are,
And that I saw them for real,
So one day they’ll be memories,
And give me something to feel.
ashw Sep 2013
Upon this poem I entertain relief,
From an uncertain journey with lack of reprieve.
A prayer delivers the same result,
A warmth in my being, an absolving of fault.
My thoughts are freed from their hampered state,
No longer caged by triviality or the dullness of fate.
Daily routine had exiled imagination,
But with this escape my thoughts upend reputation.
The daily grind had dampened my soul,
But looking toward heaven I envision being whole.
So small a thing to provide such release,
So fleeting a moment in a life so deplete.
But it’s just enough to keep madness at bay,
These times that I write and those times that I pray.
ashw Jul 2013
I once was on an endless journey
Of turning left and right,
There was bramble all around me, only
Nothing not alike.

Though none were up above me
I could not see the sky,
All except my inner strength,
I had been left alone to die.

Deserted by the moon and stars,
I was even without light,
But desperate to be free again,
I braved the endless night.

Time escaped me, also
I traveled a day, a week, a year,
But my body never weakened,
Nor hunger did I fear.

Even if I neared the end
I had no way to be sure,
So, I promised myself it was close ahead,
Just one more set of turns.

But the exit never greeted me
And disappointment, it grew strong
I had broken so many promises,
My credibility was gone.

I could no longer reassure my mind,
So I faced the truth instead,
I prepared myself for eternity –
And an endless path ahead.
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