“i love you.”

sorry, wrong number.

i am so unbelievably angry with you
youve got everyone convinced that you are the most beautiful and kind soul the universe has ever spawned
but i know the truth
i know the truth about you
i know that you used to hit me out of anger you refused to control
i remember you sprawled out on the floor screaming of death
i remember when you prepared yourself for the end
and said it was all for me
you said it was all for me
then why am i so angry with you?

Dear Depression,
I see you. We all see you. You're not very avoidable. Those slivers of light you try to enamor us with. How death seems so delicate when we talk of flowers and restful slumber- for all eternity. What the lights do not show; a grotesque, scaled abomination with a gluttonous appetite for happiness and life. I can't let you gnaw on anymore souls to leave nothing, but sunken eyes and bones. They do not belong to you nor were they yours to take. You're not welcome in the mind's of my friend's and family. Life is welcome in their heart's where joy can still be found. Don't find yourself slithering down our throat's anymore, in the empty stomachs or scars we have. The thoughts we think when you entice us are dangerous. You stole her. You stole him. You stole me. I can't recognize the stoic, numbed faces I gaze upon. You undo any progress ever done.

It's been so long since, I've heard them laugh or flashed a smile I meant. Still, your might looms over as you admire the damage you've caused. Next, feeling the audacity to sneer when we weep. Depression, you're a monster who causes nothing, but suffering. Those tears are not your's to season hopelessness with. You make the covers seem like the most comfortable coffin, you make our skin look as if we've fought thousands of wars. The sun an inconvenience with the days in reverse. We've tried to compromise, you are no friend. Just a foe.
Depression, there are so many things I want to do to you. You break my heart when all your captors don't believe they are worthy of love, but they are the ones I love most. I will break you like, you've broken us. My bare hands would reach into your chest, ripping the lungs out; stomp on them to preventing future sufferers. I would crush your heart in the palms of my hand's- praying for the sickness and terror to end. These innocent people you've robbed of life, love, happiness, opportunity and a soul. Will have their revenge. Your blood covers our skin and we bathe in the warmth of redemption as our thought's belong to us once more. We let the pain held inside escape our sutured lips, begging your soul to ascend back into the abyss never to return. Your bones are mine to assemble a castle for the broken to heal. Your skull resembles a crown honoring those who had given into the temptations of surrendering. We honor them.

I'm ready to shoot, hand me the pistol *** I'm ****** all the time
These issues are deeper than an Adam's apple so take a bite of Adam's apple, that was the world's first crime
I hid myself so much my sanity was the only thing the seeker couldn't find
I made contract for my life but the liability waiver was never signed
I'm lost in these thoughts undoubtedly trapped in my own mind
Just waiting for the stars and planets to become aligned
Since things naturally don't go right although a stitch in time saves nine
But its all like Amanda on drugs, that life's the only thing she couldn't Byne
I'm brain dead to reality you could call that a cerebral ******
I'm trying to bend the facts but I just keep saying "insert girder"
I tried to dance life away so I took lessons from Tina at Bob's Burger
But I still seem to be invisible in plain sight like telling you what the hell is a Berber
I'm just rambling out words to hide the old love in my eyes
Since I was stuck in the past searching for an ex-her-size
And if you looked into my eyes two months ago I could tell you I loved to despise
A relationship til I caught an angel with no lies or disguise
I always wondered what life would be like if both my grandfathers never died
I met one at his funeral and the other had a demolition dirby crash because the other guy didn't read the driver's hand guide
I'd give a lot to see them and what they were like they'd be the ones I confide
The feelings of my past pain and agony, let then know how I was trapped in the rough seas with high tide
I often believed my eyes drip dropped because every drop eye dripped was a waterfall of mental issues
If you thought Squidward was bad when he sang boys who cry then I'm gonna four ply for these eyes no other tissues
I used to take happiness for granted well at least that was my excuse
To stay in the darkness of my shadows because I couldn't even reach silver with my super sonic level of abuse
Corruption is nothing but a stain on my shirt and memory lane is just about an aisle down from my rebirth
I didn't think I could make it this far after being imprisoned behind the suicidal bars and my lack of self worth
I wasn't too fond of my father so I adopted father time and it was mother's nature to act like my mother earth
But sometimes I think this life being born was but a broken condomn that couldn't break the return the slab curse
Its been a while since I've had a depressing memory but thank GOD its still that way
I'm still trying to walk on my ten toes so I could tip toe through the Garden of Eden when its my time and day
But sin weighs me down and I live off of these unhealthy murderous thoughts and sometimes forget to pray
Good thing I'm still in my youth pushing it to the limit like Corbin Bleu would say
I have at least eight more lines left so let's keep the heat running at a ten
Watch what light enters your eyes because my fire could damage your retina and shatter your lens
Leaving you with distorted images like capturing Kodak, black and white pictures will be the new trend
If your not laughing yet take a sip of this aqueous humor, my boujee friend Mercedes thought her last name was Benz
There's little to go so try to read in between the lines of this mental battle
You're stuck playing with babies but I'm trying to hang with the snakes that rattle
This conversation is from me to you never look for a farmer who'll treat you like cattle
And if didn't you know I was the narrator, main character and second person so has your mind been dismantled?

my old true friend
she will be my friend till the end
yea we've had a weird friendship
one heck of a relationship for sure we had our ups an downs
our smiles our frowns
but what matters
is yes we have our shatters
but we r friends
an friendship mends the mind
an its hard to find
thank u lizz
my old true friend

I wake up. The bed is cold.
I am cold.
A gray day awaits.
I stare into the blank ceiling,
And feel an emptiness I cannot fill.
Not without her.
I stand up and shuffle across my shattered bedroom,
To the door.
The glint of the golden doorknob is the only color in this place.
I drink a tea. My mother is worried.
She's starting to notice I'm not eating at all.
Maybe...
It's time for a haircut.
A change...
From who I am. It'll do me good,
To be someone else, for a moment.
"I still love her" I think to myself, but it is silenced when I slice a hole into my head.
It is clean, a thin trail of blood which becomes a waterfall.
It streams down my face, and I keep cutting,
Blood and hair and tears falling as I stare into this broken mirror,
And the most horrible, hideous monster looks back at me.
I hate him so much, and I cut more in hopes that he will look away.
But he doesn't.
His frozen, desolate eyes stare deep into my soul,
Or rather his own,
The poor disgusting *******.
He has forgotten what it is to feel anything but pain,
And even that is escaping him.