i wish it were me who perished
i hate you for dying on all of us
especially last year when i lost everything
and so did our girls
they had already lost you
and they lost me too in a different way
i cursed you
because it should have been me
they already lost their uncle
and their aunt was taken away from them
it should have been me who died
instead it was you
i hated you for it because at least
if i had died and you had lived
they would have never lost the two people
who cherished them above all
they have lost too much in their short
time on this planet
i’m no longer mad and i no longer curse you
i just wish with all my being
that you were still here
because i miss you
i never got to grieve because i was too busy taking care of everyone
and now …
now i just want you back
and i feel like i took the time i had with you for granted
because i thought we had forever
and i feel so alone
i know you’re still here watching, spectating
i feel you around me and i feel your love
but all i feel is despair and hopelessness and fear
you should have never died