"'Creating distance is key
to letting go anytime soon'
said the naive Earth,
to an imprisoned moon."

I'll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow I say
Leave me, leave me in bed, motionless to lay
There's too much going on in my head
It's turning every black and every white into gray

Chaos cripples my feet like the dead of the night
Everything that was once in my grasp is out of my sight
They tell me it's self humiliation
But I'd like to disagree, I'd like to say it's self retaliation

The parting of the seas between a mind so split already only creates a slightly different replica of me
And then I'm one layer deeper
I can't find the way out, and the more I think about it, and the more I try to separate myself from the things that make me, I get farther away, now I can't even see the sea

So if you ever see that sea, plunge into it for me.

Save me.

Honey, I don't even ******* know.
What the hell is a crush supposed to be anyway?
  
Sweet warmth filling up my soul?
A skipped heartbeat with a mere touch to the shoulders?
Afraid to look too long in fear of falling into fascination with the way  their eyelids touch their cheek?

I don't even know.
I don't want to know.

I'm the worst sort of lover.
I don't even like people.
I mean, I love people, but not PEOPLE.

Besides, why would anyone like me back?

Miss Congeniality, not Miss Sexuality
I don't- don't know how to- how to-
****.
I can ******* swear just fine, but I can't even say-

See? What's there to like?

I don't know what love feels like.
Does everyone just...know?

I'm not pretty.

It's not that I don't know what to say.
I just don't know if I believe it

Deserve it.
(Hypocrite).


"No, not right now." (Smile, **** it)


Honey, I don't crush.
I fall.

Do you ever get those days? When the only thought running through your mind is 'I want to go home'
But you are home. You are in your bed with lungs that don't feel like yours and a pulse that sounds more like a drum and you can't hear anything but your own intrusive thoughts and you want to go home. To a skin that doesn't feel like a strangers and to a heartbeat that doesn't sound like his or hers or theirs and you can't, you can't, you can't just simply 'Go Home.'

Tonight
I'm going to drink
until I feel profound,

and let unspoken words
carry me off to a glorious
drunken excuse for sleep.

Tonight
I just might dance

to four chords,
and pretend I'm just like
everyone else.

Tonight
I'll be cool, calm,
and collected

until I see your
stupid beautiful face.

Tonight
I'm going to tear
apart the woodwork,

because I've drunk too much
to let dead carpenters
tell me how to feel.

Tonight
I refuse to
feel a thing,

in order to send off
a year of feeling
too much for too little.

Tonight
I'm going to lie
until everyone thinks I'm okay,

simply because I can,
and it's the only thing
I'm still any good at.

Tonight
I'm going to **** the silence
by choking on my own words.

Tonight
I'll fight gossip with better gossip.

Tonight
I will move on.

Cancer is a quiet pain.
A fog that clings to innocent beings.
Consuming with unapologetic haste.
There's a sadness in your eyes.  
It gives my world such weight.
How do I hush this helplessness?
It gives the air such infinite stillness.
I am choking on this illness.
I am losing sleep.
I am eating to feel less hollow.
I am thinking to feel less brim.
I want to fight your battles.
I want to hold your hand.
I will not lose you to this.
You're my sunlight.
My deepest heart and the greatest man.