i laugh and my heart feels happy with you
but I'm
           numb
i don't feel it, maybe its the drugs
or maybe its just my heart got tired of feeling like its on a roller coaster
going up
only to come back down

i crave him, he craves her
you crave me, she craves you
strange, isn't it?

why can't you see i want to be alone?
i breathe better when I'm alone - i like it better
i don't have to deal with the people, i don't have to fake what I'm feeling, and i can be lost in my mind on my own without the devil with me

someday my pain will mark you
you will realize why i had to leave
the stories will be all over you,
can't you find the clues?

I'm finally free
Free from your lies, broken promises, free from your twisted way of how you showed you "loved me"
I've never felt more clean
I don't know how to express how free I feel

Change is a strange thing
The stop lights, the people, the wrinkles on your skin
How do you stop it
The hair on your scalp, the fade of your eyes, your heart
How do you make it stop
The love who you thought was your life, how you love, the way you think
How do you not change

one day
it will all be gone
where you are, who you're with
the memories will fade, the people you are with will move on
somehow, someway
you will have to figure out who you are, by your lonesome
moving on, forgetting the people and places you once loved

an ex ******* addict, ex whiskey lover, ex lover, ex mother
I tried to forgive her
about leaving her family for drugs and alcohol
momma knew I tried
it hurts her

the dark
it swallows me whole saying,
"come here"

there's no happy ending, or beginning here
the monsters inside are always inviting more
im lost

you **** me in, then throw me out
why
is it my soul?
can you see my hidden self peeking out?
i don't want to scare you
i  love  you

they don't look at me the same
i never did anything wrong to them, but only myself


strange how things change in the matter of only one thought
I'm only safe here, because no one know who i am
or what i've done

maybe if i take the pill bottle ill be happy forever
all the powder
that should be enough to keep me happy, right?
i don't know to express the feelings inside me
how do you say what you're indicating????

she's the kind of crashing-down-all-at-once type
one little spark ignites the flame
little do people know every word is a spark

People say that you become a poet once you touch love, I used to be a poet when you were in my life.
But he's in my life now, and I feel like I constantly have writers block.
So do I love him? Or do I love you?
I told him I love him
I think I love you

You broke the heart I don't have
you mixed my emotions I don't feel

The heart I don't have is breaking
And
The feelings I don't have aren't showing