twenty one
between an adolescent and an adult
a pretty number, don't you think?

twenty one
two decades of breathing and screaming
one year of confusion and uncertainty

twenty one
too young to handle; too old to let go
what they want us to do though?

twenty one; it's hard
expectations and desires fought inside
one foul step, and you fall in despair

I believe
she will do well
so far away

I will miss
her whines and smiles
bickers and snickers

I told her
morning and night
she can call me, anytime

I cried
for my baby sister
but not too long

so far away
she goes so far
I love her, nevertheless

after years of writing
I wonder how it started
I wonder how a feeling could be described
how a description being translated into words
how words led to paragraphs
how paragraphs are made into poetry

how different poems exudes different feelings
how can poet makes rhymes and sounds
how they restrict their beautiful words into a few lines
how a small happiness can relate to anyone who reads

I was amazed, impressed, dazed and awed
Shakespeare, Lang Leav, Pablo Neruda
the swirl of emotions, the slap on the face
a silent community; a place where your inner voice speaks
charmingly, a poet’s story lies beneath her poetry
poetically, they’ll take you to your deepest thoughts
making you nod in agreement

how it started; how did I start poetry?
hmm shall we reminisce?
it was a bittersweet past I wish to hold on
almost gave it up but then I found a new light
with a scalpel on my left hand, a pen on another
I intend to be someone who heals physically and emotionally

There are times when I get so anxious
Finals, speeches, manifestos, confessions
Those times when I don’t know it anymore
Goals and purposes, why’s and how’s

I don’t know myself anymore
I become meaner, inconsiderate
Opposites of who am I really

But boy, I’m glad
I know poetry, my escape

Words sure can’t describe my true feelings
But somehow it soothe to know that
At least when I don’t know anything
At least if I lose myself in the seas of emotion
Words can help me find my way back

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

A promise can be presented in any form
A ring, a rose, a rainbow
A saying, a book, a poem
A promise to stay, a promise for forever
Another day, strengthened by a promise

But promises can also be broken
When one forfeits the rules
Never play around with promises
You break, you lose, you suffer
By then, this poem is no longer acceptable

But I know this would not be the case
When two took their steps towards each other
When two agreed to love each other
A promise, even a simple one
A promise that can last forever