You will say: “You’ve been holding out on me!” -
and that will be the day when this landslide of poetry
Finally comes spilling from my lips, because I can no longer withhold it -
And you will awake in the gardens that I’ve been growing here,
Looking at me with brand new eyes, like you’ve never really known me before,
Or seen me, or felt me, and we will roll together
Among these soft petals of imageries, fingernails like lilies
As you lift the pages, see them turning, these little white leaves,
Changing with the different seasons of visions and daydreams,
Thousands of hours passing in your eyes blinking, reading,
A living river of emotions flowing into those irises, of
All the things I cannot speak or explain or convey
When you are sitting here in silence, gazing deeply into me,
And I am leaning into your warm shoulder, wondering,
How I can turn these precious moments
Into the best kind of poetry.

I’ve been seeping constellations for you-
For you to see the colors within me
But i can see the milky way on my bathroom sink
And I’m bleeding all over the broken bottles you left last saturday
And on the empty pill bottles I was prescribed to forget you

When you kissed me last you told me I tasted like a stranger
Even though I’ve showed you every galaxy I hide inside me
All my stars and the spaces in between them
You used to tell me you could see the sky in my eyes
But last time I heard you haven’t checked the weather in months

The stars are sleeping in my veins now,
I started saving them from my bedroom floor
But i can still feel you on my fingertips
I still think of you every time I look at the sky

I’ve been kissing strangers to forget the taste of your lips
But i feel you in the back of my throat every time I smile
I feel you in my voice when someone asks me about my plans for the future
Because my entire life I was told one day I will find my better half
And you always told me you were mine
But who are you to tell me I need someone else to feel whole?

Sometimes I think my loneliness is just a mold
Made to fit the shape of you.

Little white pills
Little white pills.

Thank you all for everything.
I am so sorry.

Hands shaking.
You saw me calling.
You didn’t answer.

Now one. Two. Three.
Little white pills.
Little white pills.

These lungs stop breathing
These eyes stop crying.
This heart stops beating.

Little white pills.

If you were so lonely,
Why did you leave me?

Alone. With
No more
Little white pills.

Soft and firm, gentle and fierce,
A parting breath smothers on skin.
Wild and wanting, surrendered and stroking,
Fingers are searching and home.

Quiet, now listening, anticipating, wishing
Until the spell breaks beneath lips -
Blushing it comes, blooming it bursts
Against symphonies and rhapsodies
With melodies heaving, heavy, unheard.

Gasping for life, holding more tight
To another so fragile, human, finite
Stealing, giving, alternately taking
An appetite destructive, delicious,
Desiring, raging;
Flesh upon flesh, ragged, receiving.

Twisting, bones resisting,
A common ground with no space between
Reaching and holding, pressing and pulling,
Synchronized in silent sweet rhythms of time
Warm, willing, fantasies thrilling, perspire
Lovely and lucid, writhing, conducive
As dancing flames to the fire.

Thoughts are melting to muddle
Into puddled pools of passion
Dripping, swirling, flooding, licking
The innermost walls of the cowering mind
Bodies and hearts are pulsing, repeating,
Beating and bruising, until each breath
Is ******, divine.

Loneliness eats me
Like an orange.
Fingernails carving away my skin,
To **** out that juicy pulp of hope
From the outside in.

He called me delicious, but that was lifetimes ago,
Words turning so sweet
They rotted.

I never should have believed him - “I’m
Not just a fruit to be eaten” - that's
I should have told him,
Before these cravings were cultivated. The ones that crawl in
Through the chasms of solitude
Like worms into the pores of my skin.

Because now all I want
Is to be squeezed out
By stronger hands
That make me feel delicious and
Turn my desires
Into the most mouthwatering of juices again.