I didn't mean to snap I'm sorry I made u upset I hurt you I made a promise But then the silver screamed It was only a little one How bad could it be I know it was the last I try I sorry
Out of everyone there has been her. She stayed and never once judged me. She has been my best friend for a while now. She's also a role model and my inspiration. I told the silver to stop mutilating my skin for her. I told the darkness to leave because she led me to the light. Never once did I mean to hurt her in any way. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry I hope u don't hate me. Because I love you.
Adults anger me. They have no regard for anyone younger than them. They push us around like we are worthless Whatever though. I don't have to respect those who have no respect for me. I can be nice but everyone has a breaking point.
There's not enough rain in Oklahoma to wash the sins out of that house. So here I hide motionless like a dead mouse. I began silent and died silent. I began pale and unable, unwilling, to breath. Now again I feel anxiety making it impossible to breath. I thought I was making improvement. I thought maybe for once in my life there was a chance I wasn't going to have to take meds the rest of my life to keep me alive. That ship sailed. I didn't take them yesterday and I already feel pain. I feel the anxiety. I feel the waves pushing me under. I'm drowning again. Mom says I need to take my meds. I know I need to. Sometimes I just forget. The next day I am flung high into the sky then pushed down under the waves to the deepest parts of the ocean. Here I will stay for a little.
I've never needed her more. I've never wanted to open the door. Letting people in. Letting the voices win. I'm weak right now. Weaker than I've been before. I need you.