I can not find the way back home
I am walking through a dreary and desolated forest
alone, on a path that guides me to seemingly eternal darkness
On this journey, I bump into a disturbed reality
rooted in the ground like an old somber tree
It is a sentence, reading an aching truth
"Thirteen year old little boys do **** themselves."
Terrified, I continue on my way
All alone, or so I think
The face of a ghost or maybe a memory
creates a single hue lighter than the darkness
It is that thirteen year old boy
he comes with a name and a presence engulfed by sadness
I walk through this boy that blocks the path
He gives me no direction, no answers
only recognition
Through him I see the only light on this lonely path
Through him only, I will find my way back home

and an answer
bitter ***** be better
can't cut continue ****
don't do damage dark
electric energy exiting
finding figurative feelings
giving girls gestures
having her hair held
in inches intricately
just jostling judging
**** kinetic kindness
licking like love lives
make more madness mandatory
not new naked nausea
original order opposed
pretty pink particularly painful
quick questions quiet
reflections reproducing resentful
soaked sorrows soothingly
to take time
under universal urge
violent victories
welcoming weapons with whispers
xenophobic
ziplocked zombies

im am now undesirably  happy
I was once desirably unhappy
but with sadness came comfort
self pity became my favorite sweater
and now overzealous joy is the cardigan  I thought I would never wear
in the back of my closet, where I wish it would have stayed
change came in every season
winter was now spring
how I longed for the snow
underneath my sorrow was ability
ability to understand
now understanding slowly slipped
from my finger tips
so do not gaze at me with a confused and disapproving glare
while you sip from your every morning coffee
containing precisely three sugars
and two creams

all of the worst things are compared to broken glass
so when my cup of tea shattered in every metaphorical way possible, I was not startled that you
"glued me back together "
when my life flew off the handle
because it simply got too hot
I did not burn my fingers, I just dropped the mug
every verse of poetry that contained the "I AMs" I related to the
I AM sad, lost, lonely, just holding ons
because now words were my constant flow, like a river
or any other clichè
I carried on to an ocean of possibility with you by my side
or just in sight
A God amongst men, like Janus appearing and opening the door to opportunity, to new love, to the precise definition of moving forward
because within each ray of your sunshine, was another freckle scattered on my smiling cheeks

heartbreaks like bad breaks
make bad days feel like fate
heartbreaks like new wounds
for more hope to heal soon
heartbreaks like inmates
that do time for mistakes
heartbreaks like small snakes
with fear there but it's fake
heartbreaks like brown dirt
with brown eyes and more hurt
heartbreaks like old men
with old lessons and new men
heartbreaks like better days
that move on in better ways

You look like poetry walking
The most beautiful kind about the summer time and expensive wine

I wish I could write the way your body felt against mine using your textured tongue to stop time

All your ugly turns to delicate words from lips that takes turns on my hip bones then burns a novel into my skin

I wish I could share your story like one before bedtime as a child
Before my soul became wild like the flowers you shower me in

Your love makes me forget every part I wish I couldn't feel like a healer in the body of a king

I wish I could use each stanza of your mind to thank you for every time that you gave me a reason to breathe