Alexandra J

Alexandra J Aug 2016

Shivers on skin— I walked among stars;
I walked on broken edges
I walked on broken light.

The sound of space is the mourning of a mother,
a lullaby of the past,
of all the pain it takes to become
on someone else’s demand,
and all the time it takes to disappear
by your own accord.

The night smells of burnt ash;
there are no falling wishes here,
only wicked angels.

Come, let us sleep.
It does not do to step on the dead.

#angel #stars #space #darkness #night #light

Alexandra J Aug 2016

Meadows

Walk gently through these meadows,
do not disturb that which shouldn't be woken,
that which the gods struggled to put to rest.
They hold stories your grandfather tried to tell
with trembling hands and twitching eyes,
but you rendered them fiction,
even when they were digging holes beneath your feet.
The scent of the undead seeps through the grass,
and you'd think green shouldn't smell like rotting flesh;

Walk gently through these meadows,
hold on to dear life,
or better yet,
don't walk at all.

#life #death #madness #meadow

Alexandra J Aug 2016

soft ending

A soft beginning at the dawn of day,
at the dawn of the universe,
where light didn’t hurt
and darkness hadn’t nested inside of my lungs,
blowing out ash with my every breath,
already awaiting my disintegration.
A softer ending-
when God isn’t watching
and I can become
the one who didn’t have to beg for immortality,
because I didn’t want it in the first place.
I speak in the spaces between words,
I walk with one foot over existence
and another over the no-longer-here,
and would it matter if I slipped
and fell
or if I burned at the moon’s mercy on a starless night?
There’s no difference in unmaking,
there’s no one to say I haven’t lived the seconds I stole
from my mother when she screamed me into being.
God wasn’t watching then.
The emptiness in my chest
turned outward
and spread like mold on the forbidden fruit.
They say Eve regretted her mistake.
I’m not so sure anymore.

#words #life #death #end #moon #fall #darkness #day #night #light

Alexandra J Aug 2016

unspoken

I breathe in the light
and I’m already choking;

this is no place
for the girls
that have ripped their own chest open;

do not save me now
I am to dwell with the unspoken.

#heartbreak #broken #heart #girl #darkness #light #unspoken

Alexandra J Aug 2016

survival

hope is but a cruel creature
biting at your insides,
while claiming to be keeping you alive.
love is but a nail,
driven into your chest so deeply and so brutally,
you can’t ever get it out.
acceptance is but a cage,
keeping you locked from your desires
because they have wings,
and you can’t stretch your arms that far
through the bars.
but sweetheart, I reach out anyway,
and I hope,
and I love,
until my insides are nothing
but blood stained metal,
straining to survive.

#love #life #hope #blood #wings

Alexandra J Aug 2016

forgot

Forgetful to a fault-
never eager to remember what has been,
because that only translates to what I’ve lost.
And if forgetting means ripping parts of my flesh,
I’ll do it with a smile
as if I’m shedding
the no longer needed:
I’ll give my wings-
reminders of my fall.
I’ll give my sore veins-
reminders of crimson red on white skin,
of crimson red on a white moon.
No memories will stain my life,
as the night sky is stained with light
unwilling to let true darkness exist.

Heroes are only born when remembered;
but I am to be forgot.
Remember me not.

#stars #hero #darkness #white #night #forget #blood #red #light #memory

Alexandra J Aug 2016

unmaking

Roses and ashes- a world is awaiting.
a mistake and you fall,
but you won’t be regretting
all the screams and the cries,
the unholy you’re creating.
Rome is falling
or burning-
there’s no difference in unmaking.

#fire #cry #roses #ash #unholy