I imagine you in a white dress;
Like an elegant tree as we caress
With eyes of mischievous hazel and green
You bless every wild dream.

You’re far away
But I can still feel everything
Your face beneath my palm, your shapely silhouette
You turn my breath to sea breeze.

I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you.

Beauty both magical and divine
Your back’s an artwork, and arms sublime.
Your hair just glows under the sunset
That gentle smile, I can’t forget.

You’re far away
But I can still feel everything
Your face beneath my palm, your shapely silhouette
You turn my breath to sea breeze.

I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you.

Wash over me like the sea
Waves of pleasure from hip to knee
Feel the earth fall beneath your feet
And rise when our eyes meet.

You’re far away
But I can still feel everything
Your face beneath my palm, your shapely silhouette
You turn my breath to sea breeze.

I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you.

I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you
I want you, and I need you.


19th – 20th May 2017

A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.

But I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

You can't trick me into forgetting you
I recognised you again
When I saw you nine years later
It's like you stepped out of my head.

Your face was still the same
Sure, your hair was different.
And I know I'm not to blame
For you deciding to be distant.

But if you'd been here earlier
When I needed your reassurance
Maybe I wouldn't be surlier
Towards those with mother's affections.

I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

What else can I do on Mother's Day
Except cry or remember you?
Do other parents split for comfort?
Do they really think things through?

I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.

One parent may understand something
Much better, or more accurately.
My mum can understand my body
My dad understands my personality.

I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

So my true mother is my dad
He tried to be like a mother.
And I realise because he cared for me
His gender doesn't matter.

A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.

Today I'll give dad a hug
And say 'thanks for caring what I think.'
I won't ******* a 'happy Mother's Day'
Or give him anything pink.

I won't pretend he's someone he isn't
He's fairly respectful of me.
I'm not a perfect daughter
And never was a girl, you see.

And before you blame who I am
On the lack of a mother
Did you choose to be one child
Or have a sister, or a brother?

I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.

At least I learned for other parents
Don't leave kids when they're young.
They'll learn before 5, that when someone's gone
There's nothing that can be done.

Bubbly smile and shining eyes, are what I see
When I listen to your voice, I feel at ease.
Sure, I’m mature but fun at times
Annoying and unwittingly maritime.

Behind the jokes and the laughs, is my past
My darkness in the future seems vast.
But no one is stopping me from getting to you
Yet I stand still and grudgingly bid you adieu.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining
I’m just sick and tired of waiting
Maybe all the stress just got to me.
I don’t know how, to not hold on too tightly
Maybe I’m just scared over nothing.

Maybe that’s it, I just need to patch my soul
But you’re not the star cut out to make me whole.
Yet I try and try again to make you be a part of me
I’m drawn to the way you make us both feel happy.

But if you really meant that much to me
I’d be able to let you go, sadly but easily.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.


31st March 2017

Bubbly smile and shining eyes, are what I see
When I listen to your voice, I feel at ease.
Sure, I’m mature but fun at times
Annoying and unwittingly maritime.

Behind the jokes and the laughs, is my past
My darkness in the future seems vast.
But no one is stopping me from getting to you
Yet I stand still and grudgingly bid you adieu.

If you really meant that much to me
I’d be able to let you go, sadly but easily.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining
I’m just sick and tired of waiting
Maybe all the stress just got to me.
I don’t know how, to not hold on too tightly
Maybe I’m just scared over nothing.

Because if you really meant that much to me
I’d be able to let you go, sadly but easily.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.

Maybe that’s it, I just need to patch my soul
But you’re not the star cut out to make me whole.
Yet I try and try again to make you be a part of me
I’m drawn to the way you make us both feel happy.

But if you really meant that much to me
I’d be able to let you go, sadly but easily.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.

I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You don’t make me as happy as she makes you.
I don’t really love you, even though I think I do
You remind me of what it’s like to not be lonely.


31st March 2017

Rough stubble and eyes a haze
Slow smile droops at my touch.
Gentle spirit with eyes a glaze
That’s how I like you best.

Velvet, lace, hearts race
Lipstick on your cheek
Not too deep.

Sleep, wake up
Wake up, then sleep
Don’t dream because dreams are too good to keep.
Wake up, then sleep
Leap to your feet when I snap my fingers
You’re in my trance.

Forget about stars that dance
Remember I’m a universe.
My skin feels like silk
You see my beautiful complexity.

Velvet, lace, hearts race
Lipstick on your cheek
Not too deep.

Sleep, wake up
Wake up, then sleep
Don’t dream because dreams are too good to keep.
Wake up, then sleep
Leap to your feet when I snap my fingers
You’re in my trance.

Valentine's Day 2017

Fastening clasps, smiling in the mirror
I'm dreaming of yesteryear when I was in your arms.
I can be your princess and you could be a king
I'd give like a river flowing downstream.

Put a wreath on my head and your hands in my hair
Kiss my chest like it's a tombstone on a cold day.
I'll close my eyes and feel my dress float away
As your lips meet the dip in my waist.

Unashamed of the cage that holds me
But I'll take off its lacy embrace.
I'll stand by the window and imagine you here
While the sun reflects on my silhouette.

In my mind your hand protects mine
I can easily feel your beard on my neck.
Our hips are meant to be pressed together
My happiness with you was never meant to fade away.

So love me again today, tomorrow and forever
Kiss my chest like it's a tombstone on a cold day.
I'll close my eyes and let my dress float away
Because where you are, we are already free.

19th November 2016

Drying up the river and leaving the sorrow
Forgetting what happened and moving on
I can’t dream of abandoning what I used to know.

For so long we were inseparable
It was the way since I remember
I can’t take it away from me.
But now our bonds are severed
And my poor heart is confused
I’ve lost a part of me
I’ve lost a part of me.

I cannot be happy when I miss my sorrow
I’ve lost the understanding I gained within myself
You came back again and then
You said goodbye so long ago.
Why do you hate me so much to let me go?
That’s what I’ll never know.

5th May 2014