A rose by another name is just as plain
A rose in another vase is just as dead
And here I am pretending, nothing’s wrong with me.

If I don’t see what I want to see
If I don’t hear what I want to hear
What use is it if I speak, and you don’t hear me?

Don’t hear me out if I’m lifeless
Don’t look the other way
If you see that I’m struggling to breathe.

I fight to stay focused, you fight to be blameless
I close my eyes when I start to sink.

If I don’t see what I want to see
If I don’t hear what I want to hear
What use is it if I lose it, and you ignore me?

I am not an object, I am not a vessel of pain
I deserve life, even if I’m worthless.

I scream, I cry, I will not die
You won’t ignore that I’m there
No one will tell me I’m a waste of air.

Don’t cut me down, and expect me to wither away.

10th September 2017

A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.

But I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

You can't trick me into forgetting you
I recognised you again
When I saw you nine years later
It's like you stepped out of my head.

Your face was still the same
Sure, your hair was different.
And I know I'm not to blame
For you deciding to be distant.

But if you'd been here earlier
When I needed your reassurance
Maybe I wouldn't be surlier
Towards those with mother's affections.

I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

What else can I do on Mother's Day
Except cry or remember you?
Do other parents split for comfort?
Do they really think things through?

I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.

One parent may understand something
Much better, or more accurately.
My mum can understand my body
My dad understands my personality.

I grew up bent and crooked
I knew from a young age
That my dad and I were different
Our family's not the same.

So where were you when I needed
A hug, a smile, a cake?
You let me go as a toddler
But what a difference did it make!

So my true mother is my dad
He tried to be like a mother.
And I realise because he cared for me
His gender doesn't matter.

A true mother is always there for me
A true mother loves me unconditionally
A true mother holds my hand in the rain
A true mother can soothe my pain.

Today I'll give dad a hug
And say 'thanks for caring what I think.'
I won't ******* a 'happy Mother's Day'
Or give him anything pink.

I won't pretend he's someone he isn't
He's fairly respectful of me.
I'm not a perfect daughter
And never was a girl, you see.

And before you blame who I am
On the lack of a mother
Did you choose to be one child
Or have a sister, or a brother?

I don't know what to think
When others say I'm fortunate.
I grew up with poor self-esteem
And no one to correct it.

At least I learned for other parents
Don't leave kids when they're young.
They'll learn before 5, that when someone's gone
There's nothing that can be done.