i never took you for granted, contrary
to popular belief.
i cherished your presence
with everything i had and
not once did i ever expect
you to be at my every beck and call.
but you were.
and it destroyed me in the most
wonderful yet terrifying of ways.
you became my sole comfort, for i
didn't know anyone else who
would respond to me
like you.
i miss our witty banter and
the experiences only we've had
together.
i miss everything you've done for me
and everything you've given me.
but not once have i taken you
for granted.

i stared at these blank lines
night after night with a
trembling hand
trying to form sentences for
a poem i had promised.
crossed out stanzas and
dried-out pens
made up my failed attempts to
write about you in any way i could.
by my last attempt, i realized that
no organization of words
could do your utmost magnificence
justice.
you're more special than you think.

i'm tired of hearing the phrase
"i should have said [...]"
because no one is taking away
your right to speak your mind.
except you.
you're afraid of rejection or
some negative outcome but
you spend the hours following
wishing you had said something.
something more.
what was really on your mind.
stop waiting.
you'll regret it.
if you are a woman and you
find a man with whom you wish to
spend your life with,
get down on one knee;
stop waiting and regretting.
stand up for what you believe in;
stop waiting and regretting.
throw your ideas out there and if
by chance they happen to
get stomped upon and lost
in the shuffle...
be proud you didn't wait.
you won't regret it.

no amount of tears
can bridge the gap
of time i will spend
without you.

for months i wondered
what you saw in me,
for i was not perfect nor
was i beautiful like your
exes had been.
but they left you when you
drank and cheated on you as
soon as you fell in love.
i could never dream of
leaving you when you
needed me most.
the dating "game" does not apply to me, for
my relationships are not levels in
a flash 2D scroller.
i date to fall in love and
i fall in love to be able
to breathe again.
i don't smoke, but i'm coughing up
bad experiences like tar.
don't make me regret
leaving my lungs
vulnerable again.

you fell asleep in my arms...
and i watched you as you drifted off into a dreamland that
reality could not compare to.
your forehead against mine,
i looked down at your closed eyes and thought about
how amazing you are to me.
i love your flaws
your romeo heart
your mind.
everything about you.
i breathe in and take in the moment...
your body next to mine,
legs intertwined,
matched breathing.
"i love you..." i whisper.
because i do, and i need you to know
that i need you.

i will end up changing these sheets
and they will lose the scent of
our *******.
i will end up changing my clothes
and they will no longer smell like
you.
i will end up washing my body
and your touch will rinse off of me
and swirl down the drain.
i will end up brushing my teeth
and i will no longer taste your breath
in my mouth.
but no matter how hard i may try
i can never alter my heart or mind
and there you will always remain.